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Author Topic: Are My Dwarves Still Dwarven?  (Read 6194 times)

Nan

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Re: Are My Dwarves Still Dwarven?
« Reply #15 on: January 07, 2012, 09:05:27 pm »

Dwarves aren't really stupid and smart at the same time.
They're like Australians from Team Fortress 2.
They're incredibly intelligent, but lack common sense.
They can build a perpetual motion machine from two water wheels and a screw pump, but don't have the common sense to avoid getting shot in the face chasing down a stray sock in a battle field.

Ah, so they're like humans. Since a human can like, go to work at the particle accelerator facility, then go home and get in a heated argument with their spouse over a sock on the floor.
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Broseph Stalin

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Re: Are My Dwarves Still Dwarven?
« Reply #16 on: January 07, 2012, 11:50:26 pm »

There is only one true test of Dorfhood, administer the following test to each of them.

"Your best friend has died in combat what do you do?

A. Find a chapel and mourn him.
B. Find a sword and seek vengeance.
C. Find his family and console them.
D. Find a Grief Counseler and work through your feelings"

If they answer the question dip them in magma, a real Dorf will write in "Find his body and steal his socks."

Monk321654

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Re: Are My Dwarves Still Dwarven?
« Reply #17 on: January 07, 2012, 11:51:13 pm »

Dwarves aren't really stupid and smart at the same time.
They're like Australians from Team Fortress 2.
They're incredibly intelligent, but lack common sense.
They can build a perpetual motion machine from two water wheels and a screw pump, but don't have the common sense to avoid getting shot in the face chasing down a stray sock in a battle field.

Ah, so they're like humans. Since a human can like, go to work at the particle accelerator facility, then go home and get in a heated argument with their spouse over a sock on the floor.
Eh.
Short, bearded, alcohol swigging, yak shaving, elf hating, goblin fighting, magma loving, tallow eating, sock obsessing, mood gaining, trance becoming humans.
That's a dwarf.
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

bombzero

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Re: Are My Dwarves Still Dwarven?
« Reply #18 on: January 08, 2012, 06:22:04 am »

honestly DZA, your dwarves sound slightly more dwarfish than toady's dwarves at the moment, consider making a "more dwarf" mod or something?
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King DZA

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Re: Are My Dwarves Still Dwarven?
« Reply #19 on: January 08, 2012, 02:37:04 pm »

Hmm, a neat idea. Maybe when I finally get around to modding in the other civilized races I want, I'll release a civ mod that includes my tweaked dwarves.

Babylon

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Re: Are My Dwarves Still Dwarven?
« Reply #20 on: January 08, 2012, 04:50:38 pm »

no beards, no booze, no picks, not short = not dwarves.

I guess you could argue that without booze they're just unhappy dwarves, but taking a dwarf's beard, pick or short stature is like taking his soul.

Female dwarves (in vanilla) do not have beards.
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Monk321654

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Re: Are My Dwarves Still Dwarven?
« Reply #21 on: January 08, 2012, 05:23:18 pm »

no beards, no booze, no picks, not short = not dwarves.

I guess you could argue that without booze they're just unhappy dwarves, but taking a dwarf's beard, pick or short stature is like taking his soul.

Female dwarves (in vanilla) do not have beards.
It's not beards so much as just ridiculous amounts of excess body hair.
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

bombzero

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Re: Are My Dwarves Still Dwarven?
« Reply #22 on: January 10, 2012, 05:36:58 pm »

no beards, no booze, no picks, not short = not dwarves.

I guess you could argue that without booze they're just unhappy dwarves, but taking a dwarf's beard, pick or short stature is like taking his soul.

Female dwarves (in vanilla) do not have beards.
It's not beards so much as just ridiculous amounts of excess body hair.

yeah it all gets shifted around... creepy...
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