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Author Topic: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play [CLOSED]  (Read 20048 times)

Loud Whispers

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #15 on: January 06, 2012, 04:43:32 pm »

35. DORF DORF DORF DORF DORF

36. Elves suck.

Dunamisdeos

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #16 on: January 06, 2012, 06:45:41 pm »

37-50:  We had two rows of giant axe blades, seventy-five upright spikes, five sets of high powered steel serrated blade
           traps, a storeroom half full of candy, a whole galaxy of multi-colored engravings, berserkers, babblers, tantrums...
           Also a barrel of tequila, a barrel of rum, a barrel of beer, a bucket of raw magma and two dozen caged elves.
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bombzero

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #17 on: January 06, 2012, 06:53:40 pm »

51. Because in no other game can you cut off your enemies arm, pick up said arm, beat enemy to death with said arm, pick up said dead enemy, beat dragon to death with said enemy, pick up said dragon, beat another dragon to death with said dragon, wield said dragon in other hand, you are now dual wielding dragons.
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Devling

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #18 on: January 06, 2012, 07:07:57 pm »

52. In this game you can kill somebody with a pebble A pebble.

53. Dwarves can survive through a dragon attack, the get one shotted by a trebling goblin recruit with a bow.

54. ITS NAME IS AWESOME. Dwarf Fotress. Badass.
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Theifofdreams

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #19 on: January 06, 2012, 07:36:08 pm »

55: Armok.

56: No other game requires your characters to drink heavily simply to be productive.

57: !!SCIENCE!!

58: Forgotten beast syndromes. Because to truly be hardcore, one must first experience having one's entire epidermal layer melting off in 10 seconds flat.

DrKillPatient

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #20 on: January 06, 2012, 08:14:24 pm »

59. What other game accurately differentiates between lava and magma based on its location?
60. Your big-budget high-graphics game has a health bar that corresponds to some numbers. In our game-- developed by two brothers and their cat, no less-- that cryptic 8-bit smiley face has a realistically simulated nervous and circulatory system, skeletal structure, various internal organs, material properties, and tissue regeneration. Plus, any of those parts can be permanently crippled by even the most innocuous-looking enemy!
61. Almost-realistic geology (native aluminum and adamantine being the exception as far as I know)
« Last Edit: January 06, 2012, 08:17:36 pm by DrKillPatient »
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Rinnix

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #21 on: January 06, 2012, 10:09:42 pm »

62. Have you EVER heard of a name like Slaves to Armok: God of Blood, Chapter II Dwarf Fortress? No. You have not.
63. Too many elf corpses littering the lava-singed and blood-stained front lawn of your fortress? IMPOSSIBLE. LEAVE THEM THERE.
64. Feeling the elf corpses are undeserving of staying there? Bridge catapult.
65. Complaining about an arrow to the knee? How about an arrow piercing your heart and left lung, leaving you to die of heavy blood-loss and suffocation at the same time.
66. RIP TEETH OUT AND GOUGE THE EYES OF YOUR FOES WITH THEM.
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Chilton

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #22 on: January 06, 2012, 10:19:40 pm »

67. Burning People Killing Everyone. EVERYONE. AND THEYRE ON FIRE. And they live in Magma. Because they are Burning.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #23 on: January 07, 2012, 01:47:29 am »

Complaining about an arrow to the knee? How about an arrow piercing your heart and left lung, leaving you to die of heavy blood-loss and suffocation at the same time.

I think that actually might cause you to drown in your own blood if you're (un)lucky.
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Theifofdreams

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #24 on: January 07, 2012, 02:36:04 am »

68. Because we get to literally throw away precious metals and ores because they're taking up space. Usually in amounts so large, players of other mining games would sell their grandmother's spleen and heart for a chance at it.
69. Because dwarven naming conventions are pretty goddamned awesome, even if it is just the RNG.
70. Dining in hell isn't just a meme any more.
71. Thermonuclear catsplosions. All you need to say on the subject, really.

Monkeyfacedprickleback

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #25 on: January 07, 2012, 02:46:06 am »

72. Because it's already bettr then most comercially released games, and it's not even half done.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2012, 07:26:41 am by Monkeyfacedprickleback »
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PhantomXD

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #27 on: January 07, 2012, 03:23:25 am »

73. Because all the NPC's of every MMO I have played combined couldn't save me from what lurks outside my walls.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2012, 03:25:06 am by PhantomXD »
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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #28 on: January 07, 2012, 04:34:18 am »

73. Because I can construct a Strategic Ghost Emission System to torture potential invaders and grave robbers for all eternity.
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antymattar

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Re: Why Dwarf Fortress is better than the crap games you wussies play
« Reply #29 on: January 07, 2012, 04:38:10 am »

# 74 MASSIVE COMMUNITIES THAT ARE SO INSANE, THEY SHOULD NOT COME IN CONTACT EVER! IF THEY DID, THE WORLD WOULD GO BACK INTO WORLDGEN!!!
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