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[Kronos]

I've seen several of these floating around now, and the number seems to be increasing. Any others you've heard of? Any jokes you'd like to share that follow this general context?
I've, uh, been feeling this urge to spout one off I came up with, actually...

When The Captain, Chuck Norris and Saurfang had lunch together, every real and unreal reality collapsed into nothingness, and nothingness collapsed into insanity, leaving only The Captain, Chuck Norris, Saurfang and three chairs, a table and their lunch, which only continued to exist because they wanted it to.

On another note, the only one of these I've actually had any experience with outside of the jokes (and the only one I've actually been impressed with) is The Captain.

[ April 17, 2008: Message edited by: Kronos ]

[PTTG??]

What your thinking of is:

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walk into a bar... The building was instantly destroyed, as no single structure can contain that level of Awesome.

I like this!

Uirst Ironblood once axed a goblin so hard that the head flew

• back[/x] forward in time and killed Amelia Earhart as she was flying over the pacific ocean.

  There are no animal raws; only a list of creatures that Uirst Ironblood allows to live.

  Uirst Ironblood once got drunk and wore a bed on his back and planted a helmet. This is the origin of both Plump Helmets and the reason that elves, attempting to emulate him, wear only wooden armor.

  Uirst Ironblood got a fell mood that required 3423175458 goblin corpses. It was the fastest mood in history. It was a menacing spike, menacing with spikes. On the spike is an engraving of a Dwarf and an everything. The Dwarf is striking down the Everything.

  [ April 17, 2008: Message edited by: PTTG?? ]

[Torak]

URIST

[Mephisto]

Though dwarves aren't generally known for their knowledge of mathematics, Urist Ironblood can and does divide by zero.

[Slappy Moose]

So is Urist Ironblood some feller I should know about or what?

Is he just Chuck Norris in dwarf form?

[ricemastah]

I don't know any Urist Ironbloods either. Mayhaps you are reffering to the legendary Captain?

[Akroma]

Urist = the generic dwarven name

check out your embark screen

most likely at least one fo them is called Urist

Ironblood = the legendary captain

[Rictus]

And, um, who is The Captain?

[subject name here]

Everyone has a little Captain in them, especially when you drink responsibly and don't drive intoxicated.

[Kronos]

Captain Ironblood (A.K.A The Captain) is from the Nist Akath community fortress in the Community Games and Stories part of the forum. It's a must read for any dwarf fortress player...
Every time someone asks who Captain Ironblood is, The Captain punts a megabeast over Nist Akath with an artifact gabbro cabinet.

I don't really know where Chuck Norris came from, but he appears to be the origin of this type of joke.
If Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick and Captain Ironblood's Kal Berim were to collide, the world would implode from the sheer awesomeness.

Saurfang is a famous NPC in WoW; I'm probably one of the few people who would rather waste away the day with DF than with WoW, and have never played it, but I found a link to an excessive list of Saurfang jokes on tvtropes.org.
The reason Arthas has never left northrend is because he knows that, if he does, he will be cleaved in the face by Saurfang.

Mr. T (*wiki's*) is an actor, professional wrestler, and generally associated with the 'tough guy' look and seems to be gaining a fair number of these as well.
I don't know what his 'signature' is, though...

What do you call these kinds of jokes anyway? Hardcore Jokes? Awesomeness Jokes? They don't have a name, do they?

[Daniel Charms]

quote:Originally posted by Kronos:
<STRONG>
Mr. T (*wiki's*) is an actor, professional wrestler, and generally associated with the 'tough guy' look and seems to be gaining a fair number of these as well.
I don't know what his 'signature' is, though...</STRONG>

I pity the fool who doesn't know what Mr. T's signature is.

[bigmcstrongmuscle]

quote:Originally posted by Kronos:
<STRONG>I don't really know where Chuck Norris came from, but he appears to be the origin of this type of joke.
If Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick and Captain Ironblood's Kal Berim were to collide, the world would implode from the sheer awesomeness.

<snip>

What do you call these kinds of jokes anyway? Hardcore Jokes? Awesomeness Jokes? They don't have a name, do they?</STRONG>

Chuck Norris gets these jokes made about him because he was an extremely skilled karate champion (he retired with a 65-6-2 tournament record, and went back to beat everyone he ever lost to, according to Wikipedia). He was renowned for founding his own karate discipline and for his devastating roundhouse kicks. You'd never know it, though - he's more famous these days for starring in Walker: Texas Ranger and a lot of really corny movies.

And as far as I know, this kind of joke got its start with the Vin Diesel Facts thread on SomethingAwful.

[Armok]

If Captain Ironblood were to fight Chuck Norris, Saurfang, and Mr. T at the same time Ironblood would win. Easy, every time.

[Earthquake Damage]

The T can throw helluva far, and his van is hella fast, foo!

[Bullion]

quote:Originally posted by Earthquake Damage:
<STRONG>The T can throw helluva far, and his van is hella fast, foo!</STRONG>

But he ain't gettin' in no plane, foo'!