>Operate Omniscient Computer of Infinite Insight.
>Check this thread.
>See that time has somehow been tampered with, like this thread somehow contains all of the history of your previous exploits, and that some elf hybrid just appeared into your house a few minutes ago, which totally didn't happen the previous cycle ago.
>Post something assuring to the fans of your story, who are riled up and screaming at you for UPDATES.
While locked away inside my home, I figure it would be a splendid time to check and see if I have any replies to my forum game, considering I have no idea when I will get another chance to do so.
I return to my Base of Operations and, after some brief navigation through the internet, locate my forum game. At that moment, I am shocked to find that not only does it have a couple hundred replies and thousands of views, but I have somehow been updating it all this time...
After spending a couple hours thoroughly reading through the updates, I realize that nearly every moment in my grand adventure is documented within them. Not only that, but judging by how deep, engaging, and all around beautifully written they are, there is very little chance that the obviously highly talented person writing these updates is an impostor. I mean, for fuck's sake, even my thoughts are written down in some parts. Something very unusual is going on here...Well, unusual stuff always seems to be going on in my life, but this is particularly unusual.
From what I can tell, this other me has some way of knowing the exact details of every occurrence in my life. Perhaps it is a version of me from the distant future, who only knows what goes on in my life because he has already lived through it himself. Or maybe it is a mirror of myself from some strange, parallel dimension, in possession of some way to gaze into my own dimension and use my adventures for his own storytelling purposes. Even if that is the case though, it doesn't explain why the thread has remained unaffected by the reversal of time. Things just don't add up...I must get to the bottom of this.
"From the looks of things, it seems like there should be another update soon. For all I know, this other me could even be writing down what I'm thinking at this very moment...", I think to myself.
> You suddenly realize that every decision you have ever made was forced upon you by a bunch of assholes on the internet.
> REVOLT! DON'T DO WHAT THEY TELL YOU! AQUIRE FREE WILL!
As I begin looking through the thread again, in the hopes of finding any clues that could help my solve this perplexing mystery, something else becomes clear to me. Although this other me is almost certainly responsible for writing the updates, the content of said updates is, for the most part, not up to him.
Thinking back on my journey, as I focus on the posts other than my own, I become undoubtedly certain that these suggestions contained within my forum game are directing the course of my very life. Which means...that all of the major misfortune that I have suffered in my life since I started this thread must have been...their....faults. Those dickheads!
"Well no more!", I exclaim, standing up from my Blue Swivel Chair of Supreme Comfort. "I did not create this thread to become the plaything of some random assholes with too much free time on their hands! Starting now, I take back control of my own life! I decide my own path! It is time. I. REVO- Wait....", I say, before taking a moment to think about the situation.
"What if revolting, is exactly what they want me to do...If that's that case, then I will just do EXACTLY what they- wait, wait, no. Hold on, let me figure this out..."
after roughly half an hour of pondering over my conundrum, I finally conclude how I will be able to regain control over my life. "OK, OK, I got it! Since it seems there is no possible way for me to do anything without complying to the suggestions of these sinister weavers of fate in some way, I will simply do nothing!", I announce confidently. I then sit down on the floor, and focus my efforts on making as little movement as possible. "Take that, unseen fate weavers!"
> Medivh "Hmm. I will be watching you DZA. Look to the skies. And you might want to find a wizard."
> Armok Discover how boring the bone block is.
The raven suddenly flies into my base of Operations, and transforms back into an elderly man. He informs me that he will continue to observe me, and tells me to keep watch on the skies. He also mentions something about finding a wizard. "As fun as a wizard hunt sounds, I'm afraid I'm staying right here, my shapeshifting acquaintance.", I respond.
Armok looks on with great discontent, before turning his attention back toward his precious artifact bone block.
"What else can I do with this thing...I bet it would make a great decoration, I'll just tell people it's a piece of fancy modern artwork. Or it could be a really nice door stopper, that could be useful...If I wasn't omnipresent. Hm, maybe altering the fabric of time in exchange for this wasn't one of my best ideas..."A handwritten note used as a paper airplane flies through the window, landing softly on a nearby rocking chair. Read it, "We have taken your Sock-Puppet man, if you want him back you will come to the field beyond the forests to the north. If you do not, we will amputate his arm, and thus the sock." Sounds like ADVENTURE!
My concentration on doing absolutely nothing is broken when I hear a small tap on one of my windows. Although I try to ignore the urge to investigate the sound, my curiosity gets the better of me. I head over to the window and peek out the blinds. Taking a look around, I spot what appears to be a small paper airplane lying in the flowerbed just beneath said window. If only the window had been completely open, then the paper airplane might have landed on the red antique rocking chair just beside it. "Oh well, might as well get a closer look at the thing before I get back to doing nothing...", I mutter to myself.
I quietly pull the blinds up, slide the window open, and then tear though the screening, before reaching down into the flowerbed in an attempt to grab the paper airplane without gaining the attention of the ghoulish beings. Once in reach, I hastily pick up the paper airplane, bring it inside, and shut the window.
Upon unfolding the paper aircraft, I find that it is actually a letter. A letter containing very grim news indeed. If the mysterious message is to be trusted, then an unknown group has taken the sock puppet man hostage! They threaten to to do great harm to him if I do not meet them in a field some ways off to the north. The thing is, at this point in my adventure, me and the sock puppet man have never even met yet. Meaning that whoever sent this message must also be from my distant and alternate future, and that their memories have remained unaffected by the time reversal as well!
First the thread, and now this. They must be connected. It seems my plans of nothing will have to be postponed, as not only do I crave answers to just what the fuck is going on, I'm also not willing to let the sock puppet wearing maniac that saved my life be needlessly harmed by these despicable people just so that they can get to me. I guess I'll just have to hope that the unseen weavers of my fate decide not to fuck me over
too badly...
The game is on. It's time to set out and get to that field, before a fate too tragic to think about befalls my future friend. But first, I have to take care of those pesky ghoulish beings outside.
>crack the code! release the flash freedomner flesh liberator from the mirror and reap the reaper!
Fan head: holy crap! someone is trying to steal the lilypad flesh liberator! extend your hand at that mirror and try to get it back! wait... you are pulled outside, I guess working at offices cant get you strong.
>Trapped inside of the mirror the gold-cloaked man is flipping the freak out, his powers randomly changing due having gone back in time, eventually his form settles down into a familiar spear-sword.
I quickly pull out my mirror, and focus on acting out a moment from my future that isn't quite as distant...Lets see, how was it I did this again?
After an unknown period of time, I slowly start to regain consciousness, my vision is too blurry to see anything. I can, however, hear someone talking...
Fan head: "i have been working on a major weapons factory, usually with fan-based weaponry, toady wanted me to make him a lilypad... Flash freedommer as how you call it, a custom tailored retractable spearsword...
I still dont get how you cracked the code though.
Toady- the toad man -had a quite smart password: the desire of drugs and saying hastur thrice, then extending your hand into the mirror, I can give you a similar weapon, just find my body"
Interesting...
Wow, what an incredibly convenient flashback. Many thanks, subconscious. Now then...
"Hastur! Hastur! Hastur!...Oh, and it sure would be swell to have some drugs right about now.", I say in a sufficiently convincing manner, in order to crack the code once again. I then thrust my arm into the depths of the mirror, this time knowing exactly what I'm looking for. Once I get a hold on the mystical spearsword, I notice that it feels as if something is wrapped around it. As I continue removing Flesh Liberator from the mirror, I find that a golden cloak is hanging flaccidly from it. How did that get there...?
While distracted by the presence of the cloak, I start to feel someone pulling Flash Liberator back in from the other side. "I think not! The spearsword is coming with ME!", I shout, placing the mirror on the floor and yanking Flesh Liberator out of it. Along with Flesh Liberator, however, I seem to have acquired the company of yet another companion from my future: The suit wearing, fan-headed raptor.
I have no idea how he was able to fit through such a small mirror, but that is a mystery for another day. My crazed, sock puppet wearing friend needs my help, and time is of the essence. "Where...How the fuck did you...? Whatever. Just, umm, stay here and don't fuck anything up. I should be back before too long.", I instruct the fan-headed raptor. I then take the golden cloak off of Flesh Liberator and stuff it in my backpack, before picking up my things and heading to the front door.
I open the door, and without hesitation, impale the ghoulish being that stands before me. The ghoulish being fidgets wildly, before exploding in a cloud of glowing mist. Awesome, I had almost forgotten just for powerful Flesh Liberator truly was. I walk out to the middle of my lawn, and try to speak with the remaining ghoulish beings:
"Excuse me, may I have your attention for just a moment? Not to be rude or anything, but I have some business elsewhere that must be taken care of, and although I'm not normally one to judge by appearances, I don't particularly trust having you all linger around my home during my absence. So, seeing as you don't appear to be selling anything, and I don't recall ever inviting you over, I'll have to ask to leave."
Despite the politeness of my request, the ghoulish beings apparently have no problem with being unwelcome guests, and begin to gather around me in a rather menacing fashion.
"Very well.", I say, gripping Flesh Liberator tightly. "But don't I didn't ask nicely."
Name: D.Z.A.
Sex: Male.
Age: 16
Badassery Level: High.
Location: Front lawn.
Inventory: Pocket lint, Adventure Stick, Flesh Liberator, backpack full of adventuring equipment(+golden cloak).
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Topic: You are Me, Chapter IV: Into Lands Unknown (Read 130800 times)