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Onward to chapter IV?

Hell yes!
- 3 (75%)
Fuck no!
- 0 (0%)
I'm fine either way, honestly.
- 1 (25%)
-Completely irrelevant poll option-
- 0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 4


Pages: 1 ... 9 10 [11] 12 13 ... 27

Author Topic: You are Me, Chapter IV: Into Lands Unknown  (Read 130839 times)

IamanElfCollaborator

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Merriment Before the Massacre
« Reply #150 on: January 25, 2012, 11:16:28 am »

Scamps is better known as the mount of War, one of the Horsemen, or rather Riders of the Apocalypse.

King DZA

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Merriment Before the Massacre
« Reply #151 on: January 25, 2012, 02:28:37 pm »

I don't mind having the adoring fan feel the wrath of the banhammer, or having Scamps join in on the adventure once again. Just a little reminder that these will likely cancel out one or more of your previous suggestions.

Loud Whispers

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Merriment Before the Massacre
« Reply #152 on: January 25, 2012, 04:28:50 pm »

So that's what, 5 forumite cameos?

Hmph, tempted to make it 6.

For now, lets just say an 'eccentric' Dwarf shows up, asking for eyeballs and the general direction the OMINOUS EXPLOSIONS are coming from. As it turns out, from a mysterious jade portal...

IamanElfCollaborator

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Merriment Before the Massacre
« Reply #153 on: January 26, 2012, 03:13:26 am »

MAKE IT 6! WE MUST GET 7 IN DIS MADHAUS!

King DZA

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Merriment Before the Massacre
« Reply #154 on: January 27, 2012, 08:43:56 pm »

> Determine your location in the universe.

> Get the hell out of here as fast as possible.
Fan head: inspect the surroundings and start grinding (as in eating) some cat meat with your fan head

While trying to think of an appropriate answer to give the jolly man, I am interrupted by the unpleasant sound of grinding bone and flesh. I turn to see that the monstrosity has begun picking up random cat corpses that have been scattered about as a result of the shockwave, and dropping them into his fan head thing. Apparently it also serves as a mouth.

Strange. Despite its lack of eyes, it seems that it can also tell that it is currently on a large street, lined with medium to tall buildings. And despite its lack of ears, can tell that there are quite a lot of people around, looking out of windows and crowding the street from all sides.

>Miner: Hide from the crowd by digging a hole in the ground.

The miner suddenly begins to swing his pick at the asphalt street. Creating a decent sized hole after only a few strikes. Man, he's good at this. Soon, he breaks through to the sewers. Falling down, he makes a large splash in the rushing sewage below. I look into the hole, searching for any sign of the miner. Yet it is so far down, the only thing I can distinguish is the faint glistening of the sewage water in the sunlight.

"Will he be OK?", asks the jolly man. "The current will only bring him deeper into the sewers, where he's sure to run into the Steampunk Necrons. And I can assure you, they are not very welcoming to visitors."

"It's alright, he knows what he's doing...probably.", I tell the jolly man.

Also: See a mysterious man in a golden cloak who melts into the ground the moment you try to approach him.

As the jolly man leads me and my remaining companions through the crowd, I spot a very peculiar man in front of all the others. He wears a cloak of gold. And, unlike the rest of the festival goers, he doesn't shout or cheer. Just stands silently and watches.

Curious about this peculiar cloaked man, I attempt to reach out and talk to him. But the instant our eyes lock, he melts away into the floor, leaving not a trace behind.

Some where under the city: A hiss of steam flows from the tomb as a Necron Tomblord steps out. He shakes himself off before summoning his advisors."Where the bloody hell am I? And why do it has geas and stem coming out of me. Oh well, raise the army, we shall harvest the souls of the living. Make sure my personal Doomsday Monlith Phlanx is ready

High above the planet: A Hive Tryant turns to his Carnfiex generals. "Brethern" he spoke in a raspy voice " our enemies draw near, consume them for the glory of the Hivemind. Mcclay, you are to have the honor of going in first. Clear the lessers off this world." Mcclay grunted his assent and lead his squad into a wating drop shit and onto the planet. (( Trynids:http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Tyranid, Necrons (non steampunk variant) http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Necron))

As the sun descends, me and my comrades are brought to a gourmet restaurant. One of the best in the city. Where we are told to order whatever we like, free of charge.

As the hours pass, our table becomes covered in maps of the city, books on the history of the Tyranids and Necrons, and stacks of plates that once held meals of exquisite quality. It was nice to have something good to eat, especially considering I can't remember the last time I ate anything at all.
My comrades chatter back and forth, while I sit quietly, still unsure about how we will manage to stop both of these terrors from tearing this city apart.

Then, a rumbling is heard, coming from below. Shaking the very floor of the restaurant, and causing the plates and utensils to violently clank and clatter. After a while, it dies down, and everyone returns to their food. Unsettling sounds have been heard coming from the hive fleet in the distance for the last couple of hours as well. Despite no one in the city wanting to talk about it, the two forces are readying for their assault. And when it happens, it will be a miracle if anyone other than them is around to see the next day.
> Determine your location in the universe.

> Get the hell out of here as fast as possible.
> "FOR THE EMPEROR!"

Steam orbital drop pods fall from the sky and crash into the ground. Clockpunk Space Marines emerge from the drop pods and fight against the steam-necrons and DZA.

Also:

DZA: Get the hell out of there.
Also they are My Little Space Marines

As our time at the restaurant draws to a close, loud crashes can be heard throughout the city.

High above, a wave of steam-powered drop pods make their way to the surface of the planet. The hive fleet, apparently not taking kindly to having their assault plans interrupted, attempt to intercept them. They do an admirable job, but due to being caught by surprise, a few manage to slip through anyway, and land scattered across the city. Carrying within them squads of some of the most battle-hardened, morally correct space marines on this side of the universe.

As the restaurant gets ready to close, I decide to speak with my companions about our situation:

"I think we should leave.", I somberly announce to the rest of my group.

"What do you mean?", asks Morul, as he and the others turn their attention toward me.

"From what I can tell, even one of these forces would be more than a match for our combined strength. We're going to be going fighting off both of them simultaneously.", I say.

"So what?", says the kobold prince, hopping out of the booster seat the restaurant provided. "We're heroes!"

"These people are counting on us to help them. They've shown us nothing but kindness, they even threw a festival for our arrival, and now you're suggesting we abandon them?", says Tholtig, with a slight tone of anger in her voice.

"Technically, the festival was for me", I respond. "And It's not like I don't want to help them. But at this point, I'm just not sure whether it's possible."

"Do what you wish, but I refuse to let everyone here die because the odds are not in our favor.", Tholtig says sternly, as she gets up from her seat. The other heroes say nothing, but by their expressions, I can tell they agree with her.

We are taken to a nearby luxury hotel to rest for a while. The assault will be upon us before long. Two are three hours if we are lucky. If I am going to leave, it will have to be soon...

Attempt to kidnap one of your adoring fans, maybe they will come in handy as a shield, the meat shield before worked quite well. However much to your dismay they begin trying to lick your chest a bit too sensually.
However it is a girl and you are pretty turned on by it and creeped out.
The banhammer falls through the portal and crushes her pre-emptively.
THIS OH SO MUCH.

...we need more fourth wall antics.

As the others rest and prepare in their rooms, I quietly open the door to mine. Or at least attempt to. To my surprise, someone falls through the doorway as I begin to open it, making a loud thud on the ground. They must have been leaning against the door.
I wait for a moment, to see if anyone noticed the sound, before helping the person up. What's this? It appears to be the girl that threw her shirt at me upon my arrival to the city.

"What the hell are you doing here??", I angrily whisper. "I was, um, just wanted to make sure you were feeling alright before the battle!", she nervously responds. "Keep it down!", I tell her, doing my best not to yell.
Taking a second to think things out, I sigh, and figure there's no way I can leave her here now that she could tell everyone that she saw me sneaking out in the middle of the night. "I'm feeling fine, now come with me". "OK!!", she responds excitedly. "Quiet, goddamn it!", I say, before realizing just how loud my voice was. "Fuck, we have to hurry", I tell her, pulling her by her arm.

After making our way out of the hotel and running through the city for roughly an hour, we finally reach its edge. I guess she was more useful than I thought, as without her, it no doubt would have taken me far longer to navigate through the maze of roads and buildings. We take a moment to sit and rest as she starts to cuddle uncomfortably close. "You know, I'm actually your biggest fan. I'd do anything to help you", She says, smiling at me. "If you want, I could even- Banhammer out of fucking nowhere!

For a split second, a portal opens up before us. The strange hammer, once wielded by the toad man, flies through it, striking my(obsessively)adoring fan in the head, brutally crushing her skull! "Eww! I got brain all over me...", I say, scooting away from corpse of my self-proclaimed biggest fan.

>The hybrid takes out a banhammer and prepares to fight.

>Then, the right hand man of the toad-man appears.
>suddenly one of the cats rise!

it is...
it is...

holy crap! it is scamps! he was watching all along!
Nearby, I begin to hear the sound of struggling and breaking branches. I then watch as the elf-dwarf hybrid falls out of a tall tree and crashes to the ground, before slowly getting up and dusting himself off. Hm, so that's where he's been.

he runs over to the corpse of my once living fan, and pulls the strange hammer from the pile of gore that could once be considered a head. "careful with that thing", I tell him, as he struggles to lift the unbelievably heavy hammer and enter a combat stance. "What's got you so worked up?", I ask curiously, just as I catch a glimpse of something quickly running through the the darkness.

Seconds later, a small ball of fur pounces toward us at lightning fast speed. To my disbelief, the hybrid manages to muster up a good swing with the hammer, and whether due to skill or luck, hits the ball of fur from the air, sending it flying backwards.

The ball of fur lands on its feet, creating claw marks in the ground as it slides to a stop, before letting loose a menacing hiss at the hybrid. Oh, it's not just a ball of fur, it's a cat. But the only cat I know that could move that fast, is...*cue flashback*
standing closely beside the toad man, I see a...kitten? At least that one isn't in humanoid form.

...Son of a bitch.

For now, lets just say an 'eccentric' Dwarf shows up, asking for eyeballs and the general direction the OMINOUS EXPLOSIONS are coming from. As it turns out, from a mysterious jade portal...

Just as the cat prepares to pounce once more, a short, bearded fellow walks up to me, as if out of thin air, with a strange request. For one reason or another, it seems he would like to know if we had any of the optic vision spheres, commonly referred to as eyeballs, to spare. While the others are distracted by the strange little figure, I sift through what remains of my fan's head to find a pair of badly damaged, but still recognizable, eyeballs. I then walk over and gift them to the little bearded one.
After giving me a thankful nod, he has yet another odd inquiry, and begins to ask if I could point him in the direction of the ominous explosions. Assuming the assault must have started, I point him in the general direction of the more civilized part the city. He then happily wanders off out of sight. Though,  now that I think about it, I suppose he could have been talking about the ominous explosions coming from the mysterious jade portal that opened up a few feet away just seconds ago...Nah.

So here I am, on the outskirts of the city, with my only company being the dwarf-elf hybrid, the corpse of my self-proclaimed biggest fan, and a rather pissed off kitten. I should be safe from the Necron/Tyranid assault out here, at least for the time being. But deserting my companions, along an entire city of people who trusted and believed in me definitely wasn't a very badass thing to do. In fact, it makes me feel particularly shitty. Oh well, no one ever said the life of an adventurer was an easy one. What to do now....

Name: D.Z.A.

Sex: Male.

Age: ??

Badassery Level: Great.

Location: Outskirts of the city.

Inventory: Pocket lint.
« Last Edit: January 27, 2012, 10:57:48 pm by King DZA »
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Phantom of The Library

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Desertion
« Reply #155 on: January 27, 2012, 08:59:32 pm »

>Use the nearby pool of reflective water to re-summon Flesh Liberator.

>Catch a glimpse of the hood man again, but again he dissapears
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Gnosis - Torn Ajar -- Text Suggestion Games.
This is what happens when we randomly murder people.

You get attacked by a Yandere triangle monster.

IamanElfCollaborator

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Desertion
« Reply #156 on: January 27, 2012, 09:38:43 pm »

>Wait...what happened to the....raptor?

dreadmullet

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Desertion
« Reply #157 on: January 27, 2012, 11:17:00 pm »

> Suddenly, Flesh Liberator drags you into the water with it, and everything turns black.
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Trapezohedron

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Desertion
« Reply #158 on: January 28, 2012, 03:49:28 am »

> Steampunk Necron Flayed Ones: Arise from f**king nowhere, and surround DZA and his entourage.

> Cthulhu (who may or may not be the user in this forum): Rise from a pool with Flesh Liberator on hand, and perform a Big Damn Heroes event. Hand Fleshy to DZA afterwards, after being threatened by the gold-cloak wearing person.
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Thank you for all the fish. It was a good run.

Loud Whispers

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Desertion
« Reply #159 on: January 28, 2012, 08:38:00 am »

>Command the heroes to evacuate all of the citizens. That way, we can high tail it, defend the citizens and not completely die.

raptorfangamer

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Desertion
« Reply #160 on: January 28, 2012, 12:05:50 pm »

THREETOE APPEARS!!!

Raptor: catch a glimpse of it flying towards the tyrannid hivemind while hissing 'me... Hungry'
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Phantom of The Library

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Desertion
« Reply #161 on: January 28, 2012, 04:58:57 pm »

> Steampunk Necron Flayed Ones: Arise from f**king nowhere, and surround DZA and his entourage.

> Cthulhu (who may or may not be the user in this forum): Rise from a pool with Flesh Liberator on hand, and perform a Big Damn Heroes event. Hand Fleshy to DZA afterwards, after being threatened by the gold-cloak wearing person.
Cthulhu being the one being threatened not DZA.
Also the threatening is done by a mysterious and very scary stare.  No words are spoken before he disappears again.
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Gnosis - Torn Ajar -- Text Suggestion Games.
This is what happens when we randomly murder people.

You get attacked by a Yandere triangle monster.

agertor

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Desertion
« Reply #162 on: January 28, 2012, 11:01:30 pm »

The sky begins to turn dark, and a random portal opens up and a guy with one sock on his foot and a sock on his hand is running around seeming to talk to himself while all sorts of weapons of all kinds begin to follow him almost as if they were thrown. Somehow he manages to dodge all the weapons by simply running around with the landing harmlessly in the dirt around him. He screams at the top of his lungs, "Oh god, wrong story!" He begins to somersault a couple of times before flailing on the ground in a weird worm like motion.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2012, 11:05:12 pm by agertor »
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I AM THE SOCK PUPPET MAN
I came back with my sandwich. That was the saddest sandwich, I had ever eaten in my entire life.
you are an evil person sock.

Powder Miner

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Desertion
« Reply #163 on: January 28, 2012, 11:10:11 pm »

>Miner: Roll a boulder you dug out over some Necrons.
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King DZA

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Re: You Are Me, Chapter II: Desertion
« Reply #164 on: January 30, 2012, 11:26:44 pm »

>Use the nearby pool of reflective water to re-summon Flesh Liberator.

>Catch a glimpse of the hood man again, but again he dissapears

As the hybrid does battle with the kitten(and by battle, I mean gets covered in scratch marks as he swings the strange hammer around in an attempt to smash it), I notice the moonlight reflecting off of a pond not too far away. As I get closer, I see that the water is almost completely motionless, and incredibly reflective as well. Almost like...A mirror.

I carefully dip my hand into the pond, doing my best to disturb the water as little as possible. I slowly feel around for a bit, still unsure whether or not this will even work, before sliding my finger across something incredibly sharp. As the faint red tint of my blood spreads through the water, I ease the object out of the pond. And as the glow of its engravings illuminate the fading darkness, I am certain that I'm once again in possession of my trusty spearsword. Flesh Liberator obtained!

Just before pulling the last few inches of Flesh Liberator from the pond, I see the reflection of the peculiar golden cloaked man from the festival, standing behind me. Startled, I quickly look over my shoulder only to see nothing there, turning back toward the pond, his reflection is gone as well. Lovely, as if I didn't have enough to worry about, now I'm being stalked by a mysterious stranger with a wondrous fashion sense.

>Wait...what happened to the....raptor?

Says a random thought in my head. That's a good question. I look over at the hybrid, and decide to ask him if he's seen any sign of the thing. "Aye, hybrid dude! You seen that one suit wearing, fan headed dinosaur thing walking around anywhere?", I shout at the hybrid. Unfortunately, he seems too distracted by his highly comical Tom-and-Jerry-esque fight with the kitten to pay any mind to my inquiry.

> Suddenly, Flesh Liberator drags you into the water with it, and everything turns black.

In that moment, I realize I've yet to completely lift Flesh Liberator from the pond. Oops. As I attempt remove the last couple inches of the spearsword from the water, I'm surprised to feel something tugging against me. The hell...

The greater the force I lift with, the stronger the force pulling it back in becomes. Suddenly, Flesh Liberator is abruptly yanked down below the water's surface, taking me with it. The instant my head goes beneath the water, I blackout, unable to catch a glimpse of whatever it was responsible for Flesh Liberator's strange behavior.

> Steampunk Necron Flayed Ones: Arise from f**king nowhere, and surround DZA and his entourage.

> Cthulhu (who may or may not be the user in this forum): Rise from a pool with Flesh Liberator on hand, and perform a Big Damn Heroes event. Hand Fleshy to DZA afterwards, after being threatened by the gold-cloak wearing person.

Just then, Steampunk Necron Flayed Ones out of fucking nowhere! Razor sharp metal claws pierce upward through the ground, as horrid mechanical beings, clad in the flesh of fallen opponents, rise from the earth, encircling the entire area. The kitten and the hybrid cease their fighting, and watch as they are quickly surrounded by the technological monstrosities.

As the Steampunk Necron Flayed Ones close in, the once still pond water begins to vibrate. Subtly, at first. But it soon erupts into a violent fit of splashing and bubbling. The Steampunk Necron Flayed Ones turn their attention away from their prey for a brief moment to gaze upon the pond. For reasons unknown, an ancient, colossal creature, the likes of which has long laid dormant within the watery depths, awakes and arises from the pond. With Flesh Liberator in hand, no less.

The ancient creature stares down at the Steampunk Necron Flayed Ones, who make the grave mistake of looking directly into its eyes. In moments, the very core of their being is consumed by pure insanity, indescribable in any known human language. The Steampunk Necron Flayed Ones, losing all sense of motive, direction, and consistent thought, fall to the ground. Unable to do anything other than twitch around and mumble gibberish to themselves.

Then, with a single wretched, maddening screech, the ancient creature summons a horde of other eldritch beings from the pond's depths. Though similar in appearance, they are far lesser in size. The eldritch horde spread their dripping, dragon-like wings and take flight, heading in the direction of the city.

The golden cloaked man then appears before the massive pond dweller, and, like the Steampunk Necron Flayed Ones, looks directly into its eyes. Unlike the Steampunk Necron Flayed Ones, however, instead of being driven to absolute insanity, he seems to strike fear into the creature. It sifts through the pond, and lifts me from the water, before setting me down on solid ground and setting Flesh Liberator beside me. It then descends into the pond once more, trying to escape the gaze of the golden cloaked man as quickly as possible.

As I lay there coughing up fluid, I catch another glimpse of the golden cloaked man, but lose sight of him as I struggle to maintain consciousness. Damn.

>Command the heroes to evacuate all of the citizens. That way, we can high tail it, defend the citizens and not completely die.

Suddenly, it becomes much less of a hassle to breath, and I find myself looking down at my own body. Shit, did I die? Wait, nope, I can sense that my body still has a pulse. Guess this is just one of those out-of-body, near death experiences.
If this is anything like a traditional near death experience, chances are I'm going to have to learn some sort of life lesson before I can re-enter my body again, and seeing as I just recently abandoned my friends and allies, while also leaving an entire city to die solely for the purpose of self preservation, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say my lesson is probably related to that.

I speed on over to the city to find quite scene awaiting me. As the sun rises, the heroes of Dwarf Fortress stand ready in the city center. Streets are deserted, nearly every door and window locked, with only a few worried citizens brave enough to peek out from their windows to watch the imminent battle. As the first wave of the Tyranid assault is seen dropping down into the city, I disguise my influence as the heroes' own thoughts, and after much inner conflict I am finally able to convince them give up their "Heroic last stand" strategy, and go with the more practical "Get everyone the fuck out of there" strategy, instead.

While the kobold prince runs to the jolly man's office to get an evacuation alert sounded, the other heroes spread out and hastily begin rounding up citizens, fearing they may not be enough time to get everyone organized.
In another part of the city, the eldritch horde unleashed by the ancient creature has begun harassing the Tyranid Hive Fleet, while also engaging the Tyranids that have already landed in the city. While not nearly as powerful as their summoner, the horde is a formidable opponent, and will buy the heroes a good chunk of time.

THREETOE APPEARS!!!

Raptor: catch a glimpse of it flying towards the tyrannid hivemind while hissing 'me... Hungry'

The evacuation alert is sounded, it won't be long before they have most of the citizens at a safe distance from the city. I watch, feeling proud of my mind-negotiating abilities, and before I know it, I find myself sucked back into my own body. As I take a sudden gasp for air, I think about the life lesson I've learned during my near death experience:

deserting the people that help you is a dick move. And thus, I should try to avoid doing so in the future. Life lesson learned!

Happy to be alive, I look up to see a rather large, furry fellow standing before me. Funny, he almost looks like a large...guinea...pig. Damn it.
I am then abruptly distracted from my very-likely-soon-to-be-unfortunate situation by a familiar sound far off in the distance. I look to the sky and see none other but my favorite scaly, suit wearing abomination of nature. I am still not very fluent in Dinosaur(or Whirling Metal Blade, for that matter), but it seems to be hissing about something to do with its appetite. Well that's not very helpful.

The sky begins to turn dark, and a random portal opens up and a guy with one sock on his foot and a sock on his hand is running around seeming to talk to himself while all sorts of weapons of all kinds begin to follow him almost as if they were thrown. Somehow he manages to dodge all the weapons by simply running around with the landing harmlessly in the dirt around him. He screams at the top of his lungs, "Oh god, wrong story!" He begins to somersault a couple of times before flailing on the ground in a weird worm like motion.

I turn my attention back toward the guinea pig man, only to be distracted again by a sudden and foreboding change in weather. The bright, early morning sky darkens, before being blotted out completely by a mass of black, swirling clouds. A portal opens up in the center of the swirling cloud mass, and a very odd looking person tumbles wildly to the ground. He seems to be almost completely unphased by his collision with the planet's surface as he gets up and immediately begins to run around, effectively avoiding the volley of weaponry that apparently followed him though the portal.
He starts screaming something about being in the "wrong story", and after a brief display of amateur acrobatics, gets on the floor and begins to squirm and writhe around. Well this has definitely been a unique experience. I would attempt to help the man up, but I'm getting a feeling that he's not too mentally stable at the moment. That, and I'm fairly certain that sock puppet of his is giving me a dirty look.

>Miner: Roll a boulder you dug out over some Necrons.

Far beneath the city surface, the miner has been tirelessly at work creating very special surprise for the Steampunk Necron army. As they make their way toward the surface, the miner patiently waits for the perfect moment. As they reach a certain point, the miner jumps into action. He pushes an absolutely monstrous boulder down a specially carved out ramp, sending it rolling toward the Necron legions. While hardly making a dent in their numbers, it does force several of them to phase out and await repair. The Tomblord being one of them. bringing both favorable, and unfavorable effects.

On one hand, without commands from their leader, the progress the rest of the Steampunk Necron army is halted. On the other, many of the Steampunk Necrons are now staring up the rampway at the miner responsible for the surprise attack, and they're not looking too cheerful.

So, I'm standing on the outskirts of the city, as I, the hybrid, the kitten and the guinea pig man watch some strange, portal traversing man worm around in the grass. With luck, the heroes should get most of the city dwellers evacuated in time. Now what comes next...

Name: D.Z.A.

Sex: Male.

Age: ??

Badassery Level: Great.

Location: Outskirts of the city.

Inventory: Pocket lint, Flesh Liberator.

Spoiler: Note (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 31, 2012, 12:18:36 am by King DZA »
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