Damn, I have to remember to make updates before the replies pile up. Eh, whatever. Should be a good one nonetheless:
Find that Toady One has come back with reinforcements, namely Threetoe, Scamps, and the spirit of Dwarf Fortress.
As I sit in the center of the crater, thinking about my next course of actions, the bright light appears before me once again. "Goddamn it...", I say with discontent, knowing exactly what this means. The toad man must have escaped right after the laser rain began, and before he had the chance to store his hammer again. But what's this? Through the immense light, I see three other figures I am unfamiliar with.
Along with the toad man, out comes some other anthropomorphic being. Unlike the toad man, this one is covered in hair. What the hell is that, a guinea pig or something? Whatever it is, it doesn't look too friendly. Then, standing closely beside the toad man, I see a...kitten? At least that one isn't in humanoid form. Finally, hovering above them all, I see a large mass of hair that, upon closer observation, I realize is a floating, disembodied beard. No face or anything, just a...beard. Odd...
Toady One: Activate Super-saiyan mode and beat the heck out of DZA.
Also, loot his hash once the deed is done, assuming it's successful.
>Toady One: Activate Super-saiyan mode and dodge DZA's attacks. Then give him either an aggressive, or a pacifistic what for.
The toad man approaches me by himself, while the others stay closely behind. Regaining my focus, I ready Flesh Liberator and my body shield. Once toad man is in range, I thrust Flesh Liberator toward him, aiming for his head. To my unpleasant surprise, the toad man quickly dodges the attack, and then grabs a hold of Flesh Liberator's shaft. Yanking Flesh Liberator toward him(and me along with it), he then swiftly delivers a toad punch straight to my gut. Out of breath, and struggling not to fall over, I look up and see that the toad man has suddenly grown a full head of glowing, spiky blonde hair. "...What the fu-" I say, right before being struck with a perfect roundhouse kick, also delivered by the toad man.
Flying several hundred feet away as a result of said kick, my velocity slows down as I begin to grind into the ground. Saiyan Toady flies to my location in a matter of seconds, lifts me by my throat, and ascends far into the sky, before hurling back toward the center of the crater. I collide with the earth in a large crash. As the dust clears, I find myself laying in a smaller crater, created by my impact. And as I struggle not to choke on my own blood, the aura around me dissipates. Nothing like a good ass kicking to knock some of the badassery out of you.
I see Saiyan Toady standing before me, Flesh Liberator in hand. Shit, I must have let it go during the beat down. He approaches me, kneels down, and begins to search my pockets for anymore hash I might have on me.
Instead of Flesh Liberator, put drugs in his hand. Maybe that'll satisfy him.
Angered by his disrespectful intrusion of my pocket space, I carefully reach into one he has yet to search, grabbing hold of one of the few syringes that haven't broken. "You want my drugs?" I say, breathing heavily. "allow me to HELP!!", I shout, swiftly pulling out the syringe and jamming it into the hand Flesh Liberator is held in. Taken by surprise Saiyan Toady stumbles back, letting go of Flesh Liberator.
"Haha, Victory!", I think to myself. Saiyan Toady then quickly picks up Flesh Liberator with his other hand, lifts it above his head, and prepares to impale me with it. "Well, fuck.", I think, disappointed. He brings the spearsword down with incredible force, while I close my eyes and try not to think about how much this is going to suck...
Hm, actually, that wasn't that bad. I didn't really feel anything at all. I open my eyes and see Saiyan Toady standing there like a statue, holding Flesh Liberator just a couple inches above my heart. While I slide out from under the spearsword, his companions rush over, trying to get his attention. It's no use, though. He seems completely zoned out.
Grab the Ban-Hammer and prepare for battle.
Acquire artifact hammer. Become either vengeance, or the night.
Realize you just wasted half your cash and some weed by handing them over to the Toady One and then obliterating him. Throw down hat in disgust.
As I bring myself to my feet, I see Saiyan Toady's comrades turn toward me, they don't seem too happy with me. They begin to charge at me, but I quickly grab the nearby hammer and swing it around in their general direction, forcing them to keep their distance. Fuck, this thing is heavy. Fortunately, it seems I'm still just badass enough to wield it. I take a moment to compose myself, and then speak to the trio:
"During the last few hours, I've gained a powerful new weapon, ambushed many a drug dealer, reached levels of badassery I never dreamed possible, and obliterated a good portion of my own city. Flesh Liberator is mine, and as long as I still draw breath, I'll be damned if I let a giant, anthropomorphic, glowy haired toad, or anyone else for that matter, take it from me. Now, we can either do this the easy way, and I can pry that swordspear from your friend's hands, and be on my way. Or, we could do this the hard way, and I can strike you all down with your own weapon. Because, I'm more than just D.Z.A. I. AM. VENGEANCE!!"
My aura returns, glowing even brighter with anger once I realize the drugs and money I originally offered were probably destroyed in the laser rain as well. Disgusted, I attempt to throw down my hat. Realizing my hat is in fact a hood, I throw off my jacket in highly dramatic fashion instead. "Now then, let's ro-"
HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHERE DID ALL THE SOLDIERS COME FROM??Suddenly, something catches my eye. I begin to look around the crater, and notice that it is entirely surrounded by armed soldiers. Thousands of them. Clad in jet black armor, and accompanied by many futuristic looking war machines. Tanks, turrets, jets, and helicopters clearly not of this age.
While most of the aircraft circle around the crater, one of the helicopters comes much closer, and lower to the ground.
Appease the almighty creator by quickly sacrificing some elves. Oh, and throw some buckets of blood in.
A loud voice emanates from the helicopter, informing us that is we do not drop our weapons and get down on the floor immediately, we will be met with force. I turn to Saiyan Toady, It appears he is sitting down, using Flesh Liberator as a giant drawing utensil to etch doodles in the dirt, completely oblivious to everything else going on. With his comrades still determined to tear me apart, there's no way I'm dropping this hammer.
After observing the apparent refusal to cooperate, a rope is let down from the copter, a soldier slides down, ready to fire. He walks a little closer, and tells us that this is our last warning. The kitten turns its attention away from me, and hisses at the soldier, before dashing toward him with incomprehensible speed. The soldier only manages to fire off a couple small laser beams before the kitten jumps at him, clawing his throat clean open with a single swipe. As the soldier's body hits the floor, his face-concealing helmet is knocked off. Hm, those are some pointy ears he's got the- wait, what the hell?!
As a loud siren in the helicopter goes off, I go to inspect the soldier's corpse, without letting my guard down. This is definitely an elf. but why would elves have such advanced technology, unless...
they're future elves!Man, once a way was invented to work with metal without using trees for fuel, they must have gone all out. I dip my fingers in the blood still pouring from the elf's neck, and walk over to flick it at Saiyan Toady. However, it has no effect. "maybe if I had buckets worth of the stuff...".
I raise my voice, asking if anyone in the helicopter has a few buckets worth of blood. Sadly, no one responds. Damn.
Stop being you, and start being ToadyOne instead.
Trying to kill him hasn't worked too well so far...Maybe, I should try to
be him!
I then start imitating everything the drugged-up Saiyan Toady does. Unfortunately, his comrades are not amused, and assume I am trying to mock them. They now look even more pissed of then before(well, as pissed of as a guinea pig man, a kitten, and a disembodied beard can look, anyway).
>Call in the most epic heros of DF in an futile attempt to stop Toady.
says a random thought in my head. That's a good idea. But how would I go about doing that....
On a side note, it seems the sun has begun to rise. That mean's I've been out all night. Shit, and I still need to check up on my forum suggestion game...
Name: D.Z.A.
Sex: Male
Age: 16
Badassery Level:
MAXIMUM.
Location: Center of crater.
Inventory: Pocket lint, BanHammer, 413$, some drugs.
Poll
3 (75%)
Author
Topic: You are Me, Chapter IV: Into Lands Unknown (Read 130830 times)