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[USEC_OFFICER]

Hm, in hindsight, it might have been a good idea to make sure my customers were of the more helpless sort before locking myself in with them...Oh well. What's done is done. Plans must continue regardless!

Alexander pauses for a moment, before smiling at his customers. "Is that so? Must have been some sort of mistake, then. Very sorry for any inconvenience I've caused you. However, once you try some of my food, I am confident that you won't have any problems with giving me said permission..."

Offer each of them a Meat Kebab. When they go to take a bite, jam the skewers down their throats.

The gangsters are not complete idiots, and refuse to let you point sharp pointy sticks at their mouths.

"Look buddy, we're not here to grab a bite to eat. Just hand over the deed to the place and you'll make it out of here with all the skin on your back."

(Ok back, sorry about that, i been off the fourms for a while, but i am back now)

"Are youuuu offering me a jobbbb or insulteing my Mothre"

"A job. J-O-B job."

Hm. Well, it was inevitable.

Drag anything that might be useful as cover to form a barricade around any side/rear entrance, or, if there are none, as far from the main door as possible. Set the bomb up on the main door, ignite it and run for the cover I erected, and if_exit=true, wait until the bomb goes off and sneak out. If_exit=false, load up my UM-45 and prepare for a firefight.

You quickly knock over some shelves to construct a barricade around a side entrance, before setting the explosive next to the main door. It manages to go off just when the police where starting to bust the door down. Aw yeah. You swagger out of the side entrance, feeling proud of yourself. Or at least you swagger for about three metres. It turns out that the police weren't lying when they said that they had you surrounded. Luckily the two cops guarding that entrance seem to be distracted by your bomb, and haven't spotted you yet.

[King DZA]

Oh well, it was worth a try. I'm pretty sure that tenderizing the meat works better if it's still alive anyway.

"That's very kind. I wish I could say the same for you." Duel wield nailboard and club. Bludgeon them to death.

[Evilsx]

"o-o-ok, what isss this job you are offerring, and what iss tha pay?"

[PyroDesu]

As the two policemen are distracted, sneak off, making sure the door behind me is in its original state, to the chemicals warehouse, break in and grab anything that could be useful, then go to the warehouse filled with crates, break in, making sure nobody sees me going in there, and I should be able to hole up there for a bit. The Plan can still be carried out, even if innovation is required!

[USEC_OFFICER]

Oh well, it was worth a try. I'm pretty sure that tenderizing the meat works better if it's still alive anyway.

"That's very kind. I wish I could say the same for you." Duel wield nailboard and club. Bludgeon them to death.

Alexander Zane pulls out the nailboard and club!

Unfortunately he can't dual-wield weapons yet, and is forced to put the club away.

The gangsters get the jump on Alexander Zane!

Frank 'The Shotgunner' ducks behind a counter!

Larry 'The Pistoleer' jumps behind a door!

Frank 'The Shotgunner' fires the sawn-off at Alexander Zane!
The pellets bounce harmless off of Alexander Zane's manly chest!

Larry 'The Pistoleer' fires his dual pistols at Alexander Zane!
He actually manages to hit Alexander Zane in the lower left arm! (2 damage)

Alexander Zane charges at Frank 'The Shotgunner'!
Frank 'The Shotgunner' screams like a little girl and runs away!

Frank 'The Shotgunner' blindly fires over his shoulder!
He misses Alexander Zane completely!

Larry 'The Pistoleer' fires at Alexander Zane!
His shots go wide as he tries to avoid hitting Frank 'The Shotgunner'!

Alexander Zane finally catches Frank 'The Shotgunner'!
That's going to leave a mark! (4 damage)

Frank 'The Shotgunner' rolls underneath a table and reloads his sawn-off!
The move would have been badass if he wasn't crying for his mother!

Larry 'The Pistoleer' gets a clear shot at Alexander Zane!
He makes the most of it! (2 damage)

Alexander Zane knocks over the table that Frank 'The Shotgunner' was hiding behind!
The chase resumes!

Frank 'The Shotgunner' can't fire straight while running for his life!

Larry 'The Pistoleer' is a much better shot than Frank!
Alexander Zane gets hit in the right kidney! (2 damage)

Alexander Zane trips Frank 'The Shotgunner' and launches a kick to the face!
Frank is going to need dental after this! (4 damage)

Frank 'The Shotgunner' is close to death! (< 1/4 health)

Frank 'The Shotgunner' can't seem to hit the broad side of a barn!

Larry 'The Pistoleer' fires at Alexander Zane!
Larry seems to have lost his mojo!

Alexander Zane attempts to end Frank 'The Shotgunner's existence!
Frank dodges by pitifully crawling away!

Frank quickly stands up and reloads his sawn-off.

Larry 'The Pistoleer' unloads the rest of his clip at Alexander Zane!
Alexander Zane is shot in the left hand and third right toe! (2 damage)

Alexander Zane looks pale! (< 1/2 health)

Larry 'The Pistoleer' sees that his friend is about to die and yells at Alexander Zane to stop!

"o-o-ok, what isss this job you are offerring, and what iss tha pay?"

"Look, my friend, is very easy. The temple is for me too little, I am afraid of war two children, who should not be to defend it. What do you think? $ 100 of wages from his forehead, but also to defend it. Are you interested in?"

Crap. You should really check what you've been drinking for the past couple of hours, because you are way more drunk than usual.

As the two policemen are distracted, sneak off, making sure the door behind me is in its original state, to the chemicals warehouse, break in and grab anything that could be useful, then go to the warehouse filled with crates, break in, making sure nobody sees me going in there, and I should be able to hole up there for a bit. The Plan can still be carried out, even if innovation is required!

You manage to easily sneak past the police guarding your (former) base.

The guards in the chemical warehouse? Well, they're a different story altogether. As you go about plundering some chemicals, you hear a metallic ping next to you, followed by a buzzing noise. Turning around, you see a guard pointing a (now useless) taser pistol at you. He mutters an expletive before running away and yelling in his radio for back-up.

[Evilsx]

"....So wait, you want me to defendan a temple, but kill the two children there that are?"

[King DZA]

All of these blood stains and bullet holes are going to be a terrible mess to tidy up right before the grand opening...Unpleasant.

"If I do not have some FUCKING people in here to butcher within the next hour I am going turn your friend into a plate of delicious and arguably nutritious hors d'oeuvres!!!"

After making rage-fueled demands, consume basewarming muffin to increase health and regain friendly demeanor.

[USEC_OFFICER]

"....So wait, you want me to defendan a temple, but kill the two children there that are?"

"What?You are an idiot, or just finalized? You see, I have a building, I want to protect, okay? Did not kill the children, there is no temple. Now, are you there?"

All of these blood stains and bullet holes are going to be a terrible mess to tidy up right before the grand opening...Unpleasant.

"If I do not have some FUCKING people in here to butcher within the next hour I am going turn your friend into a plate of delicious and arguably nutritious hors d'oeuvres!!!"

After making rage-fueled demands, consume basewarming muffin to increase health and regain friendly demeanor.

"Wait what? You want to butcher people for... No, you're joking, right?"

Max Health: +5

[Powder Miner]

"I-i was doing my job, when my employers were murdered by a man in a balaclava. ..I-i Got a-away b-before he n-noticed me..."

[King DZA]

Alexander is almost too busy savoring the flavor of the basewarming muffin to realize what he just said!

"....Why yes, yes I am! What I was actually going to say was, 'if I don't get some fucking people in here to help me butcher'. Butchering is very laborious task, you see. And I already have enough work on my hands as is.
So, what I need you do to is bring some acceptable here people to 'help' me butcher before the grand opening of this fine eating establishment. Otherwise, I am going to take out my knife and have your friend 'help' me instead. Also, let's just try to keep this little project between us, okay? If you went around telling this to people who certainly shouldn't know, I would have to locate everyone else close to you, have them 'help' me as well, and then ensure that you get to taste what a wonderful job they did."

"You have roughly 55 minutes left, by the way. Better skedaddle. Oh, and feel free to have a meat kebab on the house."

Disarm and drag the nigh-dead shotgunner into one of the empty rooms to rest, then see if the kitchen has a decent meat cleaver in stock.

[PyroDesu]

  Quickly grab a few more chemicals, then proceed to the crate warehouse as planned, making sure I am not seen by the guard there, any other warehouse's guard, or the police, break in and, making sure not to be seen by the guard(s) there, get behind some crates and open one up.

[Evilsx]

Joun think s about it and says "Well show me this take me to this building first, i need check if it a place that is what i should guard...and to dober check, are you paying me by the hour or day?"

[USEC_OFFICER]

"I-i was doing my job, when my employers were murdered by a man in a balaclava. ..I-i Got a-away b-before he n-noticed me..."

"Lord Jesus... Do you know where the man ran off? Did you check to see if your employers where still alive?"

Alexander is almost too busy savoring the flavor of the basewarming muffin to realize what he just said!

"....Why yes, yes I am! What I was actually going to say was, 'if I don't get some fucking people in here to help me butcher'. Butchering is very laborious task, you see. And I already have enough work on my hands as is.
So, what I need you do to is bring some acceptable here people to 'help' me butcher before the grand opening of this fine eating establishment. Otherwise, I am going to take out my knife and have your friend 'help' me instead. Also, let's just try to keep this little project between us, okay? If you went around telling this to people who certainly shouldn't know, I would have to locate everyone else close to you, have them 'help' me as well, and then ensure that you get to taste what a wonderful job they did."

"You have roughly 55 minutes left, by the way. Better skedaddle. Oh, and feel free to have a meat kebab on the house."

Disarm and drag the nigh-dead shotgunner into one of the empty rooms to rest, then see if the kitchen has a decent meat cleaver in stock.

The man looks at you for a couple seconds, before racing out of the kitchen and into the restaurant. Hmmph. Well, looks like it's time to deal with the shotgunner.

To your immense surprise, the shotgunner is in fact still alive and in full use of all his senses. Especially the ones involving not-being-turned-into-lunchmeat.

Frank 'The Shotgunner' fires the sawn-off at Alexander Zane's gut!
The pellets embed themselves in Alexander Zane's liver and stomach (3 damage)

Larry 'The Pistoleer' charges into the kitchen, firing his pistols at Alexander Zane!
The shots go wide, and rebound off several cooking pots.

Alexander Zane is close to death! (< 1/4 health)

Crap.

  Quickly grab a few more chemicals, then proceed to the crate warehouse as planned, making sure I am not seen by the guard there, any other warehouse's guard, or the police, break in and, making sure not to be seen by the guard(s) there, get behind some crates and open one up.

You quickly grab a few more chemicals before running out of the warehouse. A couple of guards are hurriedly closing the gate as you rush out, but they stop as soon as they see you. They quickly pull out their taser pistols and point them at you. With your hands full of jars and boxes, you can't pull your UM-45 out before they open fire.

Graeme McSecurity fires his taser pistol at Sargent Rick!
The prongs jam in the pistol, and the battery discharges uselessly!

Graeme McGuard shoots his taser pistol at Sargent Rick!
The prongs embed themselves firmly in Sargent Rick's flesh!

Liquid Agony has activated! Sargent Rick is stunned for a combat round!

Graeme McSecurity rushes forward and slaps a pair of handcuffs on Sargent Rick!
Graeme McGuard runs towards Sargent Rick and takes his pistol away from him!

Sargent Rick is no longer stunned.

Joun think s about it and says "Well show me this take me to this building first, i need check if it a place that is what i should guard...and to dober check, are you paying me by the hour or day?"

"What the hell, you mean, a place where you should be wary of?

The previous wage is $ 100, and the more you the way, if attacked. If everything is good, peace, then you will not get a bonus or anything. Got it?"

[King DZA]

Honestly, I was just bringing him in there to rest! I only wanted the meat cleaver so I'd have it handy when Larry got back!

It seems I may have bit off a little more then I could chew(heh)...But there's no going back now. And When all roads of logic and reason lead us to death, all that remains is the completely absurd...

Hand over the deed, then use whatever hobo calling techniques I can muster to summon my homeless colleagues to my rescue.

[Evilsx]

"Ok, i take the job, can you give me details on the building"