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[Wayward Device]

So. Just after Christmas I was adopted by a kitten. We all think "Heh, it'll never happen to me!" and then one day Blam! The mind control kicks in and that's that. I had intended to call it Urist Lungtrumpets the Ancient Messianic Spirit, but it ended up being named Jasper, which is still at least a gem. And truth be told, it doesn't have any kills yet so a full title would have been presumptuous. Anyway, Jasper was sitting on the end of my bed just now and vomited. Really rather a lot (my calculations indicate that prior to vomiting, it must have been composed of at least 50% vomit by volume). My initial reaction was of course "Gah! Cat Vomit! My bed!". And then I realized. I've spent hours, perhaps even days training in virtual reality for just such a situation as this. So I immediately pastured Jasper in another room and deconstructed and rebuilt the bed. Problem solved! Now I am left with a mystery. I know for a fact that my new pet has not sustained an attack to the lower body and there have been no forgotten beast attacks on my fort...

I just felt that I should post this here because where else in all the world, indeed perhaps in all the internets, would I find people who can appreciate these above recounted events?       

[BigD145]

I would blame miasma. If you're not paying attention you'll never see the purple smoke.

[Oliolli]

Had it fallen great heights? That could have possibly caused some injury.

[Dakk]

Maybe he's been eating stuff he shouldn't? Also make sure he drinks alot of water if this keeps up or it can lead to dehydration pretty quickly.

[Sphalerite]

Perhaps it's cave adaption.  Did you keep the kitten in darkness for a while, then expose it to sunlight?

[Loud Whispers]

Perhaps it has a bruised stomach? Was it struck by spinning microline recently?

[Gatleos]

Quick! Head to HomeDepot the Aid of Building and trade for some mechanisms, grates and hatch covers! This phenomenon must be weaponized!

Or just switch to dry food, either way.

[Tcei]

This thread made me think of this pic. Now you know how we are adopted!

[thvaz]

To the Butcher!

[Oliolli]

Unfortunately not possible. If the cat has adopted someone, it can't be butchered. Unless...

Wayward, please go into that room and pull the lever in there. Lock the door behind you.

[Sphalerite]

I'm just astonished that he manage to pasture a kitten.  I know the dwarves manage it somehow, but my real-life experience with cats is that putting them in a room and telling them to stay there just doesn't work that well.

[Oliolli]

Keep the door tightly sealed. Should do the trick.

[magistrate101]

I'm just astonished that he manage to pasture a kitten.  I know the dwarves manage it somehow, but my real-life experience with cats is that putting them in a room and telling them to stay there just doesn't work that well.

You've got to make sure the door is closed tightly, so it's not pet-passable.
Locking it works too...

[Darvi]

but it ended up being named Jasper,

Spoiler: SCNR (click to show/hide)

[Tharwen]

Oh no...

You have a syndrome. Get quarantining right away!