Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Lordraymond]

So, in the course of one day, I've seen the fall of seven forts.

Fortress 1 (My former long-running fort): Swarmed by about seventy Naga Men and twenty Elephant Warriors (Fortress Defense)
Fortress 2: Dwarves starved because Urist Mcfarmer went on break with no food left and I was tabbed out
Fortress 3: Ohgodthebadgers
Fortress 4: Cavern invasion when I dug too deep, too fast
Fortress 5: No military, lolstranglers murdered everydwarf
Fortress 6: Accidentally mined out a single candy tile and the Circus came to town, I had nine dwarves as I had dug to magma quickly to get metal industry
Fortress 7: I kid you not, three troglodytes. They killed my only two military-capable dwarves (Woodcutter and miner) by shoving them off the stairwell and then proceeded to murder the other fifteen dwarves in the fortress.

Needless to say, the Faithful Lenses will investigate their "brilliant" colonists with more scrutiny next time they send an expedition.

So am I bad, are my dwarves bad, is this just routine !!Fun!!, or just a run of bad luck? Also, I guess share stories of hilariously quick defeats.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

You just expreienced a day in the life of an average DF player. Full of slaughter and blood splattering everywhere.

[612DwarfAvenue]

That's a pretty damn bad run. I've yet to lose a fort to anything but boredom in like a year.

[starshard0]

A lot of those could have been prevented by moving more slowly.

[Jenniretta]

Sounds like a few hard-learned lessons for an inexperienced fortress overseer ;3
Just learn from your mistakes and you'll have better luck in the future.

I remember my first few fortresses,
One that stands out in my mind: I had heard you could stop chasm creatures by flooding it with magma (this is the old 2D days), so I made a 1-wide channel to the magma river, and this pissed off the local ratmen population... I didn't know that, dumping things like magma into the chasm caused them to attack MORE until you got enough magma to fill it, I also didn't know that a 1-wide channel takes a LONG time for the magma to kill the chasm... so my one-dwarf military in bronze armour with a bronze axe died, followed by the rest of the population, who got overrun by angry rodent-men while magma slowly trickled into the chasm.
Another, this may have been my first failed fortress, I don't remember any before this, but I had embarked on a map with some large mean critter (I don't remember if this was pre- or post- elephant fixing but I think it was Tigers) and a few of them of them killed my starting-7 before I had even gotten the first migrants, lol. (I tried to kill them by recruiting my starting 7.... which was a poor choice)

[Psieye]

No this sounds like a bad day more than inexperience. When luck is running low and you start growing impatient to make up for previous failures. Thus you create even more FAIL. These days happen, and not just in DF.

[Loud Whispers]

I would send embark after embark worth of Dorfs to get the fun you just smashed into

_{(Isn't that what we already do though?)}

[UristMcHuman]

(Isn't that what we already do though?)

I believe we do.

[Marshall Burns]

1. Embark on glacier.
2. Designate digging.
3. The blizzard man shakes the dwarf around by the head and the severed part sails off in an arc! The head is ripped off and remains in the blizzard man's grip. x7

[GotIt_00]

I had a werewolf show up on embark right after I unpaused. That was a short one.

[Mr Frog]

The Completely Comprehensive Chronicles of the Frog's First Fortress

: Okay, dig a hole... build a still (what do all those other workshops do?)... done!

: Hmmm, need a farm... what, need mud?

Okay, so I have no way of removing the water from the farm save for unleashing it on the rest of the fortress and waiting for it to dry out, but in any case I now have mud! I'll plant this and this.

: Cool! They're hunting for vermin to eat! ...What do those little red arrows mean?

: Funny, they don't seem to be eating any of those pig tails and dimple cups I planted... wonder why? Oh well, time to build a crafts stockpile! 4x4 should be big enough.

: OH GOD THEY'RE TANTRUMING WHAT DID I DO WRONG

: AUUUUUGH NOT THE FLOODGATE WHY DID YOU SMASH THE FLOODGATE OH MY GOD EVERYONE'S DROWNING WHY DID THE WIKI SAY THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA

: EVERYONE'S DEAD EXCEPT FOR THE ONE GUY WHO'S RUNNING AROUND OUTSIDE STRANGLING DEER WHY IS HE DOING THAT

(DFWiki): He went berserk. He went berserk because he was unhappy because you suck.

: Oh.

('Zerking Dwarf): RRRARRGHNAGAGAGRAAAGH

(DFWiki): Incidentally, screw pumps exist and plump helmets exist and you should have used both.

: ...Oh.


R.I.P. Firstfortress the First Fortress of Frogs (201-201).

[Lordraymond]

The Completely Comprehensive Chronicles of the Frog's First Fortress

: Okay, dig a hole... build a still (what do all those other workshops do?)... done!

: Hmmm, need a farm... what, need mud?

Okay, so I have no way of removing the water from the farm save for unleashing it on the rest of the fortress and waiting for it to dry out, but in any case I now have mud! I'll plant this and this.

: Cool! They're hunting for vermin to eat! ...What do those little red arrows mean?

: Funny, they don't seem to be eating any of those pig tails and dimple cups I planted... wonder why? Oh well, time to build a crafts stockpile! 4x4 should be big enough.

: OH GOD THEY'RE TANTRUMING WHAT DID I DO WRONG

: AUUUUUGH NOT THE FLOODGATE WHY DID YOU SMASH THE FLOODGATE OH MY GOD EVERYONE'S DROWNING WHY DID THE WIKI SAY THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA

: EVERYONE'S DEAD EXCEPT FOR THE ONE GUY WHO'S RUNNING AROUND OUTSIDE STRANGLING DEER WHY IS HE DOING THAT

(DFWiki): He went berserk. He went berserk because he was unhappy because you suck.

: Oh.

('Zerking Dwarf): RRRARRGHNAGAGAGRAAAGH

(DFWiki): Incidentally, screw pumps exist and plump helmets exist and you should have used both.

: ...Oh.


R.I.P. Firstfortress the First Fortress of Frogs (201-201).

You're lucky you had so much fun, my first six forts all died in the first year to either aquifer-stalemates or fort-wide starvation/dehydration.

[Loud Whispers]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Completely Comprehensive Chronicles of the Frog's First Fortress

: Okay, dig a hole... build a still (what do all those other workshops do?)... done!

: Hmmm, need a farm... what, need mud?

Okay, so I have no way of removing the water from the farm save for unleashing it on the rest of the fortress and waiting for it to dry out, but in any case I now have mud! I'll plant this and this.

: Cool! They're hunting for vermin to eat! ...What do those little red arrows mean?

: Funny, they don't seem to be eating any of those pig tails and dimple cups I planted... wonder why? Oh well, time to build a crafts stockpile! 4x4 should be big enough.

: OH GOD THEY'RE TANTRUMING WHAT DID I DO WRONG

: AUUUUUGH NOT THE FLOODGATE WHY DID YOU SMASH THE FLOODGATE OH MY GOD EVERYONE'S DROWNING WHY DID THE WIKI SAY THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA

: EVERYONE'S DEAD EXCEPT FOR THE ONE GUY WHO'S RUNNING AROUND OUTSIDE STRANGLING DEER WHY IS HE DOING THAT

(DFWiki): He went berserk. He went berserk because he was unhappy because you suck.

: Oh.

('Zerking Dwarf): RRRARRGHNAGAGAGRAAAGH

(DFWiki): Incidentally, screw pumps exist and plump helmets exist and you should have used both.

: ...Oh.


R.I.P. Firstfortress the First Fortress of Frogs (201-201).

My first fortress died when I accidentally dug out the entire map. Oops.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Heh.

Lost my fortress to a simple miscalculation of a magma trap.

'What do you mean the floodgate isn't magmaproof? We built it out of the blue-OH SHI-'

'Your fortress has crumbled to its end.'

[Loud Whispers]

Microlinederpdherpderpisawesome