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[Gearskull1]

I've lurked about these forums but really havent posted yet. I've got a situation and need some other thinkers to think so I figured I'd see what ideas this forum can dust up.

Yes, It's about a girl.

Anyway here's the situation. My ex-girlfriend of this summer and I broke up at the end of the summer. We where planning on living near each other, but she left pretty abruptly. We didn't really talk at all, except for a few texts where we tried to talk to but It ended pretty badly. Recently she sent me a text saying she had left me a message essentially apologizing and hoping that I was doing well.

BUT

I couldn't find the message on my book' and can only assume it was sent to the wrong person/mistakenly not sent at all.

Akward. So I figure I should send her one of my own and make right, but apparently there's something important that I needed to know in this message, something she didn't tell me that she feels bad about.

I dont know what to do?! My gut tells me to just forgive her the best I can, tell her that I'm doing well and give as much truth as possible. But I don't know what this secret is, and last time I tried to talk with the best of intentions it went down in flames. Should I send a message of my own? tell her I simply did not get her message and she should re-send it?

Advice? 

[UltraValican]

Okay, first.

Spoiler: So you can't say that post was useless (click to show/hide)

Just tell her you didn't get it. Its an honest mistake.

[Vector]

Apologize anyway for whatever you did wrong (because this is something people who were serious together should do after breaking up, as annoying as it is--it makes things a lot easier in the long run), thank her for apologizing, and then address the message: "Hey, man, by the way, I got this message from you, but I didn't get the thing it refers to.  Could you send it again?"  But probably written a bit differently, because I doubt most girlfriends want to be called "hey, man."  Gear your message to the best possible situation.  That's the general game theory of social relationships, except for those involving abuse: assume the best, give your best, keep an eye out for signs of intentionally destructive behavior.  Be open, and be nice.

Qualifications: I am a girl with an ex-boyfriend.

[Truean]

Apologize anyway for whatever you did wrong (because this is something people who were serious together should do after breaking up, as annoying as it is--it makes things a lot easier in the long run), thank her for apologizing, and then address the message: "Hey, man, by the way, I got this message from you, but I didn't get the thing it refers to.  Could you send it again?"  But probably written a bit differently, because I doubt most girlfriends want to be called "hey, man."  Gear your message to the best possible situation.  That's the general game theory of social relationships, except for those involving abuse: assume the best, give your best, keep an eye out for signs of intentionally destructive behavior.  Be open, and be nice.

Qualifications: I am a girl with an ex-boyfriend.

What Vector said, of which I am jealous.

But, yeah.

You don't have the message for whatever reason, so asking if she can send it again is ok. She might not have it anymore and that's ok. Just talk to her, avoid bringing up old arguments. If she brings up an old argument, then just acknowledge how it made her feel bad/upset/sad and apologize for your part in it.

People seem to think going from friends to relationship magically changes things and some ways kinda.... You've still gotta be friends. You've still gotta be that person they like spending time with, preferably for more than looks or something like that. Also, they still have to be that friend to you.
He/She is hot, will only get you so far.

It might not be unsalvageable, though really that depends both on what happened and what happens now.

[LordBucket]

Advice?

Tell her you didn't get the previous message. Ask her what it said.