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[Madventurer]

Put him in a pit, and throw remains of all invaders in there. And all remains you cannot use. And make it have 1-3 water levels in it.

[Callista]

I'm not sure if this is a sign that there may be something wrong with me, but that actually sounds really nice.

Naw, just sounds like you're an introvert who needs a break. Take it from me: A couple weeks without other people jabbering at you can be a real vacation.

Do goblins breed? Catch another opposite-sex goblin and wall them in together... watch as dozens and dozens of goblins are forced to spend all their time in the same two-tile space...

[krenshala]

I'm not sure if this is a sign that there may be something wrong with me, but that actually sounds really nice.

Naw, just sounds like you're an introvert who needs a break. Take it from me: A couple weeks without other people jabbering at you can be a real vacation.

Do goblins breed? Catch another opposite-sex goblin and wall them in together... watch as dozens and dozens of goblins are forced to spend all their time in the same two-tile space...

You would and up breeding super-goblins that way, as they would fight and only the strong would survive.

[King DZA]

If that would work, I'd have to start wars with all the other races(for the greater good, of course), so I could capture their soldiers to be put into special birthing chambers. So that members from ALL races could be gifted with the experience of living under my direct rule!

Man, I can't wait for multiracial forts...

[Callista]

I'm not sure if this is a sign that there may be something wrong with me, but that actually sounds really nice.

Naw, just sounds like you're an introvert who needs a break. Take it from me: A couple weeks without other people jabbering at you can be a real vacation.

Do goblins breed? Catch another opposite-sex goblin and wall them in together... watch as dozens and dozens of goblins are forced to spend all their time in the same two-tile space...

You would and up breeding super-goblins that way, as they would fight and only the strong would survive.

That would only work if goblins inherit things from their parents... And anyway, they could only access information from the first two goblins; so you'd end up with no better than the sum of the best the original two could muster, and probably less.

DF with genetics would be cool, though. I mean, it would actually make children non-annoying. Say Daddy's a natural blacksmith and Mommy's an axedwarf (who somehow didn't manage to get Baby skewered in battle)... Bet their kid would inherit something from them. Strength, I think, useful for both things? And it wouldn't be a huge drain on anything, anyway; all you'd need to do is store parents' stats in the kid's data, simple recessive/dominant structure. Don't need any of that real-life partial-dominance and epigenetics stuff; if The Sims 2 did without it, why not Dwarf Fortress?

[Loud Whispers]

DF already has genetics in it >_<

[krenshala]

Do goblins breed? Catch another opposite-sex goblin and wall them in together... watch as dozens and dozens of goblins are forced to spend all their time in the same two-tile space...

You would and up breeding super-goblins that way, as they would fight and only the strong would survive.

That would only work if goblins inherit things from their parents... And anyway, they could only access information from the first two goblins; so you'd end up with no better than the sum of the best the original two could muster, and probably less.

DF with genetics would be cool, though. I mean, it would actually make children non-annoying. Say Daddy's a natural blacksmith and Mommy's an axedwarf (who somehow didn't manage to get Baby skewered in battle)... Bet their kid would inherit something from them. Strength, I think, useful for both things? And it wouldn't be a huge drain on anything, anyway; all you'd need to do is store parents' stats in the kid's data, simple recessive/dominant structure. Don't need any of that real-life partial-dominance and epigenetics stuff; if The Sims 2 did without it, why not Dwarf Fortress?

As Loud Whispers says, it already has genetics.  And I was assuming you'd pit all your goblins into a single hole, so you'd get lots of breeding and subsequent fighting for survivalspace. 

[noodle0117]

Personally?  I'd just leave him.  Goblins, I believe, are immortal.  They don't eat or drink - even if you started a civ with them they wouldn't consume.  Traders and invaders naturally have eating turned off, but goblins are legit creatures that purely do not eat.

With that in mind, make him a dwarf.  Lock him in a hollowed-out mineral vein, and leave him.  Alone, isolated, with nothing but solid stone for miles in every direction.  The world shall turn, your fortress shall prosper, his armies will continue the siege, and he will know nothing.  Stuck, solitary, in the bowels of the earth, no noise or sight or signal of any sort, even his own breath a muted whimper in the darkness.  And your fort shall crumble, your dwarves rotten to dust and your constructions set ablaze and ashes scattered to the winds (because let's be honest, that's how a good fort goes out) and yet he shall remain, forgotten in the deepest pit of an obscure and obsolete mining vein, spending eternity exactly there.

Hell is other people.  HFS is yourself.

May I sig this?

edit- FUUU DIE SIG LIMIT DIE!!!

[NonconsensualSurgery]

Hammers work, but getting close poses a risk to your dwarves and tends to be over too quickly. If you catch a goblin with high dodge they're best used as either gladiators against beasts or as target practice for your unskilled marksdwarves.

I've kept this up for months. Every once in a while I'd open the door to the training pit and they'd run out to get vengeance on the dwarves who were doing this, but get tragically caught in a cage trap right outside each and every time.

However, that's not the worst thing you could do. Lock dozens of goblins in a danger room for years and then use them to visit the circus.

[Callista]

I totally did not know that, and I demand a link to an explanation of how DF genetics works.

[Nerserus]

Make a noble you hate a really really nice valuable room. Then stick the goblin right in the middle of a 3x3 fortification so the noble soils his pants everytime he walks in. Double points if it's a goblin bowman.

[Loud Whispers]

I totally did not know that, and I demand a link to an explanation of how DF genetics works.

Well amongst animals, they'll inherit traits from both parents, which usually leads to hulking fat masses of muscles amongst polar bears and war dogs.
Amongst Dwarves, they inherit skin colour, eye colour and physical traits, although with each progressive generation the traits are nullified (good and bad), until you get Dorfs who are average with everything. Mental traits appear to be random.
You could try searching genetics, or find my abandoned eugenics fort thread

[Ivir_Baggins]

Cold, mechancial, beaurocratic, uncaring death.

Isn't it beautiful?

From the point of view of my industrial forts that run an 'organic products' line? Inefficient. The 'bureaucratic' part of the procedure can be purged while the rest of the adjectives remain true. But then, there is something to appreciate about deliberately being inefficient for the sake of Twisted Art.

We don't want a normal bureaucratic death. We want a Vogon bureaucratic death. That's much worse. If only poetry was included in the game...

[Wannazzaki]

Find/wait for a syndrome which paralyses the goblin without killing them. Perhaps melts their limbs. A kind of living hell, trapped within their own mind and in perpetual agony. I call this the "I have no mouth and i must scream" method.

[Loud Whispers]

Find/wait for a syndrome which paralyses the goblin without killing them. Perhaps melts their limbs. A kind of living hell, trapped within their own mind and in perpetual agony. I call this the "I have no mouth and i must scream" method.

Turn it into a blob? Nice. Although the rot may cause it to die from infection, so it's risky.