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[ChairmanPoo]

The more portable (eg smaller) the better. The easier to play the better, too (as I intend to self-teach).

Also: don't recommend the harmonica, as I already play that.

[MonkeyHead]

The Theremin

[Patchouli]

Melodica. Tin whistle. Ukulele.

[Darvi]

Kazoo.

[Lectorog]

Ocarina.
Zills.
Miniature accordion.

[Trapezohedron]

Portability? The flute, but it's quite a common instrument, so yeah.

Personally, I'd go for a piano, since while it isn't portable, it is kind of easy to use, and when you're eventually very good at it, you can play very intricate melodies.

But if you're buying a keyboard, for the love of whoever you believe in, buy a hammered, 88-key keyboard. No exceptions.

[ChairmanPoo]

How hard is it to play? I was considering a transverse, but am sort of unsure (as the very existence of these kind of threads reveals, I guess).

[King DZA]

Harmonica. Then you'll be able to make cool songs about the various hardships of life that you'll play as you sit around a campfire, or in a jail cell.

Or bongos. Bongos are nice, too.

[Heron TSG]

Baritone horn. Three valves, infinite awesome. (Or Euphonium if you're a sissy who needs four)

1. Valves of a trumpet.
2. Pitch and weight of a trombone.
3. Shape and comfortable holding position of a tuba.

All the good parts, none of the bad parts, e.g....

1. Horrible squawking loudness (though playing loud may cause earthquakes.)
2. Arm-jerking to change notes, can't slur.
3. Doesn't weigh six tons.

There's a pretty fierce rivalry atwixt euphonium and baritone players, but if you can only find a euphonium, they're okay I guess.

[Criptfeind]

The Ipod. Lightweight and instant to master.

[DJ]

Bagpipes.

[lordcooper]

Ocarina all the way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Zhs5zqr39A&feature=relmfu

[Tellemurius]

Drums ie. any percussion instruments, you can walk anywhere with a snare strap on ya, just don't expect the neighbors to love your banging around.

[Vector]

Erhu is frickin' cool.  You won't sound good, but almost no one does.

[goqe]

Being a guitarist for 4 years and recently taking up drums i'd recommend those two.

You can easily look up basic chords on the internet and play almost every song with several different chords and drums only require from you to catch the main required tempo on which almost every modern pop/rock songs are based on. The rest is improvisation.