Okay this is going to be rather short. I just had a rather long piece but then the forums decided to have errors, saying i've already sent the post and then promptly deleting all the content.
You are THE GELATINOUS CUBE. No, actually you're just a gelatinous cube. You've been in this dungeon for as long as you can remember, as a gelatinous cube that's not very long. You know the immediate area around you at least though, there's the good old corridor that was blocked off in a dungeon cave in (darn cheaply run dungeon), there's the good old "Ye shoppe of interesting things" (Now 50% off on migraine potions!). There's that room with a door which you can't open (You're a cube, you lack arms and legs), but you heard (somehow since you lack ears) that there was stairs in there. Oh and then there's the other stairs which you never seemed to interested in, yet one day you planned to go down. Oh and those stone pillars, which unfortunately have been tarnished with graffiti by those damn Gnome kids, with their "rock music" and "free spirit", nothing like that for the upstanding Gelatinous cube!
Go to the north room.
You attempt to go to the North room yet you run into an old "friend". Unfortunately since you're a gelatinous cube and you just ran into him he sort of melts into the floor. Oh well. Oh you also see Mort, the neighbourhood cave mushroom addicted kobold. Mort used to have a steady job guarding corridors, until he got addicted to cave mushrooms. He even sold his weapon for cave mushrooms. Although the cave mushroom to weapon exchange rate is rather low these days, heck even the lowliest rats probably wield artifact flaming swords these days.
Stats:
STR:5
DEF:5
INT:5
CON:5
LCK:5
HATS (Yes hats):
Gelatinous cubes don't gain levels, however they can absorb things to gain stat points.
Weapons give you STR.
Armour/Clothing gives you DEF.
Spellbooks/Scrolls give you INT.
Healing potions/other healing sources (even corpses of casters who can heal) Give you CON. (Relax there'll be plenty of healing potions).
Throughout the dungeon you can find hats, hats will give you special abilities.
Once you gain an INT score of 10, when you devour corpses you maybe able to gain the ability to change into their form once.
You can store gold in your acidic cubeness, since your acid doesn't work on gold. How else do you carry around gold?
Inventory:
3 gold.
EDIT: There, fixed. Note to self: Don't hit tab by impulse, that posts the damn post.