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Author Topic: You are in a Sewer  (Read 2507 times)

Elvisdogs

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #30 on: December 20, 2011, 11:19:51 pm »

Show the rat our FISTING skills.

Punch the grate and establish hideout in main chamber of the sewer.
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forsaken1111

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #31 on: December 21, 2011, 04:27:06 pm »

You pick yourself up and clean yourself off as best you can. This place really is disgusting; you can feel yourself becoming sicker by the minute from all the filth here. You decide to share some of that filth with the guards, so you take off the sodden traveling cloak and scoop approximately 2 metric fucktons of 'mud' into it.

Fun fact: A metric fuckton is equivalent to 1000 metric shitloads. One shitload is approximately 0.268 pounds, so 2 metric fucktons of 'mud' is about 536 pounds. You scoop up about 540 pound of 'mud' in the cloak and stagger under the weight as you make your way back up the slippery tunnel of running filth.

A small voice in the back of your mind is asking "Why are we down here?" but the hero in you beats up that small voice and gives it a wedgie while yelling "ADVENTURE!"

You stand beneath the open grate next to the fat naked and filthy innkeeper who you're 80% sure is now dead. You place the cloak containing the 'mud' in the water and prepare yourself to fling it up at the guards. They do not show up. Either they decided they didn't care about you, or they didn't want to come down into the sewer. The 'mud' you're clutching in a ready-to-throw position runs between your fingers and slops down your arm. You really want to vomit, and decide that this is stupid so you pick up the probably-dead, mostly-naked, filthy and stinking kidnap victim and flee back into the sewers to make your lair!

As you pass you glare at the Ordinary Rodent of Entirely Normal Size and attempt to summon a fish. Nothing happens of course, because you're not a wizard, but it does look mildly more scared of you! Taking this as a victory, you PUNCH your way through the iron grate and look for a place to make a secret hideout. Your plans are hampered somewhat by the fact that the grate was blocking off a large cistern which contains 8 feet of foul 'water' and 2 feet of 'mud' at the bottom. You make a satisfying splash followed by a large SPLOOSH as the fat naked dead elf lands in the water above you.

The current sucks you down and through another tunnel and dumps you out into a large drying chamber. Behind you the fat elf corpse gets stuck in the pipe with a PLUP and the water flow stops.

This chamber is rather large, and has multi-hued fungus growing up the walls from the large mounds of 'mud' and puddles of 'water'. There appears to be an exit to a natural looking cave to the left and some stairs with a door at the top to the right.

>_

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Author's Note (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: December 21, 2011, 04:42:37 pm by forsaken1111 »
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Theodolus

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #32 on: December 21, 2011, 04:41:43 pm »

Enter the natural looking cave and subdue any inhabitants. Turn this cave into the Cave of Fisting!
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terkiey

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Re: You are in a Sewer
« Reply #33 on: December 21, 2011, 05:15:11 pm »

Eat 1 metric fuckton of 'mud'.

Feed some to the innkeeper to see if he will come back to life.
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Elvisdogs

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Re: You are in a Sewer
« Reply #34 on: December 21, 2011, 05:48:50 pm »

Well let's see here... THE FIST is in a cave...

Anyone besides me see innuendo abounding?

More seriously think we should subdue any threats in said cave and then find a way out. This will be our treasure room.
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It was for a film project. I regret nothing.

Lillipad

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Re: You are in a Sewer
« Reply #35 on: December 21, 2011, 07:57:57 pm »

>Lick the fungus.
>Establish hideout.
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Trapezohedron

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Re: You are in a Sewer
« Reply #36 on: December 21, 2011, 08:51:25 pm »

> Fatten the fat innkeeper with 'mud'.
> Become filth zombie.
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Thank you for all the fish. It was a good run.

monk12

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Re: You are in a Sewer
« Reply #37 on: December 21, 2011, 09:13:17 pm »

>Lick the fungus.
>Establish hideout.


+1

Well let's see here... THE FIST is in a cave...

Anyone besides me see innuendo abounding?

More seriously think we should subdue any threats in said cave and then find a way out. This will be our treasure room.

I see nothing at all untoward about fisting in a dark, warm cave full of filth. Although I agree with you about the treasure.
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