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Author Topic: You are in a Sewer  (Read 2503 times)

UltraValican

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Re: You are in a Tavern
« Reply #15 on: December 20, 2011, 03:31:11 pm »

We are clearly in an elven town, we must escape and call our brothers in arms.
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forsaken1111

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Re: You are in a Tavern
« Reply #16 on: December 20, 2011, 03:36:46 pm »

Ignoring the guard outside for the moment, you give serious thought to your identity. You can't be running around calling yourself by your real name now that you're a bonified level 2 adventurer! You decide to call yourself The Fist on account of your Devil Punching ability which you have just discovered. You will be amazing!

You quickly make a daring decision to kidnap both elves and make a heroic escape! You lift the elven maiden easily enough, but the fat innkeeper gives you some problems. Still you somehow manage to pick up both of them and make a dash for the bathroom.

Well... its not really a bathroom. You wouldn't want to take a bath in here. Its more an indoor outhouse with a hole in the floor where people do their business, and it's almost full. You slip in something better left unmentioned but you stay upright. At this point you run into a slight problem... the bathroom has no window. You shift the weight of the half-conscious elven maiden and punch the wall like the Devil himself, and the wood explodes outwards in a shower of splinters. You make an incredibly bold and heroic escape from the guards as they attempt to serve you a warrant for assault charges.

You are now in the alleyway behind the Tavern in the twin city of Ankh-Morpork. An incredibly foul smell is coming from the broken wall behind you, as well as the sounds of guards tossing the tavern in search of something or someone. Probably you. Likely because you viciously assaulted two elves for no reason. But who cares? Now you have them and you're kidnapping them for... uh... what was the plan again?

You think the Guards may realize you have gone out through the bathroom soon. They're probably reluctant to enter, and also you locked the door behind you in a rare flash of inspiration.

>_


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monk12

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #17 on: December 20, 2011, 03:41:10 pm »

Change clothes with the elven innkeeper to throw the guards off our trail, then book it!

UltraValican

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #18 on: December 20, 2011, 03:44:54 pm »

Change clothes with the elven innkeeper to throw the guards off our trail, then book it!
No. Eat them and see how they like it.
Sell them for narcotics.
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cerapa

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #19 on: December 20, 2011, 03:46:09 pm »

Change clothes with the elven innkeeper to throw the guards off our trail, then book it!
This. I dont think we have a book though.
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forsaken1111

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #20 on: December 20, 2011, 05:33:44 pm »

You briefly consider exchanging clothes with the fat innkeeper, but you don't think he would fit into your armor. Instead you strip him and put his (rather large) shirt and vest on over your rusty iron breastplate which, conveniently, makes you look rather plump. You grab the elven maiden's traveling cloak to cover your armor further, pulling the hood up and keeping your face in the shadows.

You then engage a local vagrant in a short discussion about selling the unconscious bodies of the two elves for narcotics. The toothless old man grins and gives you a small paper bag for the maiden but doesn't seem to want the fat old innkeeper. He runs off with the maiden over his shoulder, cackling with glee. You have gained 1 Infamy point, and really feel like a truly terrible person.

Right at that moment, simultaneous with the thought that you really should be going now, the guards burst through the hole in the wall of the Tavern and brandish their halbards at you. You stand there facing the armed guards wearing your innkeeper disguise and a hooded cloak while standing over the innkeeper's mostly naked body while holding a small brown paper bag of an unknown substance. You've really got a bad feeling about this...

>_

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monk12

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #21 on: December 20, 2011, 05:44:30 pm »

TO THE FIST CAVE!

And by Fist Cave I mean sewers

forsaken1111

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #22 on: December 20, 2011, 05:48:50 pm »

You'd really love to run away and get to the sewers... but you realize you don't have a catchphrase yet to shout dramatically! What kind of a level 2 adventurer doesn't have a catchphrase? You should really think of one now before you deal with these guards.

>_
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monk12

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #23 on: December 20, 2011, 06:20:10 pm »

FOR FISTING!

UltraValican

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #24 on: December 20, 2011, 06:25:42 pm »

You have to go stop that old man who kidnapped a woman,stripped an innocent man, and forced narcotics into your hand.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!!!
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forsaken1111

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #25 on: December 20, 2011, 06:29:37 pm »

You decide upon your catchphrase, unaware of its potential for unintentional innuendo, and shout "For Fisting!" while sprinting away from the guards at a breakneck pace.

Well... that's what you would do if you weren't kidnapping a fat innkeeper. What really happens is that you yell and turn to flee but the fat man slows you down so much the guards nearly catch you. As you turn to fend them off you slip in a puddle and fall into an open sewer grate. While falling beneath a very fat man, you make a mental note to take this up with the sanitation department when you get out of here. Open sewer grates are a hazard!

You land with a squelch in some 'mud' which is several inches deep and covered with several more inches of 'water'. Both the 'mud' and 'water' are a sort of off-brown color and really don't smell like mud or water. The very fat innkeeper lands on top of you, and the pressure causes you to squirt out from under him like a pea shooting out of a squeezed pod. You are swept along the torrent of disgusting 'mud' and 'water' for a ways before you fetch up against an iron grate. You are covered in 'mud' and feel rather filthy, but you still have the amulet! All things considered, you think this is your most successful questing experience to date. It's also your first one, but the statement stands all the same.

You are in a filthy sewer. An ordinary rat of normal size watches you from nearby. To the east you see some stairs. To the west is a dark tunnel which reeks of sewage. Behind you is an iron grate through which sewage is pouring.

You gain 4 XP for a successful escape and completing a quest objective. (Escape with the amulet and don't get caught)

>_

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monk12

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #26 on: December 20, 2011, 06:38:09 pm »

Head West to find and establish a base of operations- nobody will think to look for the Fist in the sewers!

Lillipad

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #27 on: December 20, 2011, 07:29:09 pm »

Yes. Do the words the monk has said.
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Armok

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #28 on: December 20, 2011, 07:40:10 pm »

> throw the "mud" up at the guards.
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So says Armok, God of blood.
Sszsszssoo...
Sszsszssaaayysss...
III...

Trapezohedron

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Re: You are in an Alleyway
« Reply #29 on: December 20, 2011, 08:58:12 pm »

> Ordinary Rat of Normal Size: Summon bigger fish (figuratively or literally).
> Farah Lordlord: Grab 2 metric f**ktons of 'mud', and be prepared to throw them.
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Thank you for all the fish. It was a good run.
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