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[Lordraymond]

I'm not really sure where to post this, but this seems like a decent place. Have a short tale of Iral Glazedcages, ghostly mechanic!

All around the fort of Gearsstones, beds are littered with dwarves, laying useless and moaning. All of them have one thing in common - a single missing foot. I've practically run out of wood for crutches at this point, and the masons have all been incapacitated so I can't make any slabs for the guy. Seventeen times in the last fort-year, Iral has battered a variety of dwarves, including the militia commander and mayor. Every time he's ripped either their left or right foot off. Every. Time.

I just hope I don't get a ghost with a beard fetish, that would be mass hysteria!

Also necessary topic is necessary, and I guess I should ask a question too, so do any of you have humorous ghost stories to regale us with?

[MagmaMcFry]

You could impale the feet on spears on top of your fort wall as a warning to migrants.

[Person]

Can't you just enable masonr/stone detailing on someone else? Or is EVERYBODY in bed missing feet.

[Loud Whispers]

I see you're engraving a slab for me.

That's some nice feet you got there.

[Mel_Vixen]

Sounds like a bad CSI plot.

"We have a mass murderer that collects feet!"
"I dont want be in his shoes when we find him" *puts on sunglasses*


Anyway, wasnt it possible to make slabs from clay via potery r from wood by a woodcrafter?
 

[Lordraymond]

He doesn't seem to like being put to rest. Every time I try to get a new dwarf over to the mason's workshop, they usually either get scared off and cancel the job because of something stupid or get their foot ripped off as well.

It's a never ending cycle of feet. I think I've ascended to a new level of most dwarves' obsessions with socks to the things the socks are worn on! It's a Dwarven miracle!

[MagmaMcFry]

FEET FOR THE FOOT GOD!

[Loud Whispers]

FEET FOR THE FOOT GOD!

TOES FOR THE TOBLERONE!

[gamewizardinnc]

TOE JAM FOR THE JAM GOD!

[caknuck]

Arches for the archbishop!!!

[Telgin]

That's pretty hilarious.  I (un)fortunately haven't had problems burying my dead dwarves, so I haven't had much occasion for ghostly hilarity.

The only half decent story I have is where one of my dwarves got throw in jail by my baroness when her stupid production mandate was ignored.  He ended up dying in prison because nobody thought to bring him any water.  Funny thing is, she had an unhappy thought where she witnessed death soon after that, and since he was the only casualty for many months, it had to have been him.  I guess she wandered down there and watched him thirst to death.

He later came back to haunt her.  She was already miserable all the time because one of my other dwarves had a nice coffin, and when the ghost started haunting her she started tantruming.  She ended up killing someone else with her mining pick and smashing a few tables.  I got the dead dwarf buried soon after that, and unfortunately my baroness never did go insane from it.

So I atom smashed her for being a jerk and not getting punished for her killings.

[Tlc2011]

I see the solution - Clearly, it is:

*Ahem*

Warning - Spoiler involves me screaming MAGMAAA.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

MMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

Also, click spoiler to find out a bit about my family!

[Loud Whispers]

I see the solution - Clearly, it is:

*Ahem*

Warning - Spoiler involves me screaming MAGMAAA.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

MMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

Also, click spoiler to find out a bit about my family!

Ghosts are immune. Also, RIP Necro910, may he melt in peace.

[Flying Dice]

I see the solution - Clearly, it is:

*Ahem*

Warning - Spoiler involves me screaming MAGMAAA.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

MMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

Also, click spoiler to find out a bit about my family!

Ghosts are immune. Also, RIP Necro910, may he melt in peace.

Amen to that.