Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Angle]

So theres this girl, right?  Well of course. Anyway, let me describe her to you. She's a beautiful person. She has the most brilliant smile, it's like the when the sun bursts through on a cloudy day and illuminates everything with light and warmth. Or when a light goes on in a dark room. Or walking out of a cave into full daylight. And her laugh is wonderful. It's like a warm wind that blows all the clouds away. She's kind and smart and strong, too. But she doesn't think much of me. I first noticed her back at the very end of seventh grade, and am in my senior year now. I tried to approach her in freshman year, but was especially socially incompetent then, and so made a horrible job of it. I can tell that she finds me very uncomfortable to be around, and so I've been trying to not bother her. But I still can't get over her. These past few years, I've been kinda hovering, trying not to bother her but not being able to really move away. Other girls are nice, but I don't really feel anything for them. I find them exhausting and confusing, and don't really enjoy being around them. For example, There were a couple of girls who were vaguely interested in me last year. I tried to be nice to them, but I still didn't really enjoy being around them, and after a while they lost interest. So yeah. I'm in my senior year, so I don't have much time left anyway. Still... Meh. Any advice?

[thesleepless]

Cage traps?

[Angle]

Hah! Uh, No. Somehow I think that's a bad idea.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

You're kind of....obsessed. I would advise staying far away from her.

[Angle]

Not that kind of obsessed, I assure you.

[LordBucket]

Any advice?

Improve your self esteem. Try looking into your own eyes in a mirror for a minute or two every day telling yourself that you're lovable and worthy. Try to believe it. Try to feel lovable and worthy when you say it. Do this for months.

[nogoodnames]

My advice? Get over it.

I know you probably don't want to hear it but she does not want to be with you and it's in everyone's best interest for you just to move on. Even if she does decide to go out with you there is no way the reality will match the ideal you've built up over the years. You mentioned that you've shunned other potential relationships because of her. Think hard and be honest with yourself, did you actually not like these girls or did you push them away because of a misplaced sense of hope?

You know what would be best for you, but you don't want to admit it. Believe me, I was infatuated with a girl for a year before going to different schools forced me to move on. It would have saved me a lot of pain if I had the willpower to confront myself earlier.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Not that kind of obsessed, I assure you.

I'm not so sure about that.

I first noticed her back at the very end of seventh grade, and am in my senior year now. I tried to approach her in freshman year, but was especially socially incompetent then, and so made a horrible job of it. I can tell that she finds me very uncomfortable to be around, and so I've been trying to not bother her. But I still can't get over her. These past few years, I've been kinda hovering, trying not to bother her but not being able to really move away.

This goes beyond simple infatuation. That is an obsession.

[LordBucket]

That is an obsession.

No. Obsession is knowing that something is bad for you but being unable to stop. He appears to believe that she finds him undesirable and so avoids her. That is a self-esteem issue.

[Angle]

Well, Alright. Self esteem is something I have trouble with. Any more immediate advice, though?

I'm not so sure about that.

Neh. This is just idiot teenager obsession, the only one I'm going to hurt is myself, and even that not too badly.

He appears to believe that she finds him undesirable and so avoids her. That is a self-esteem issue.

Well, not entirely. From how I've seen her behave, I'm pretty confident she genuinely does find me uncomfortable. She still tries to be nice to me, though.

[LordBucket]

Any more immediate advice, though?

As stated above:
Improve your self esteem. Try looking into your own eyes in a mirror for a minute or two every day telling yourself that you're lovable and worthy. Try to believe it. Try to feel lovable and worthy when you say it. Do this for months.

I advise not worrying about this girl right now. After a few months of telling yourself that you're lovable and worthy, once you really start to feel that it is true, then ask yourself whether you're still interested in this girl. You might be. Or you might not. Doesn't matter right now.

[Fenrir]

The human population has recently exceeded seven billion. Unless you have, by some peculiar and unlikely circumstance, found the best girl in seven billion, I think you can safely cast aside this one and proceed.

[LordBucket]

From how I've seen her behave, I'm pretty confident she genuinely
does find me uncomfortable.

Maybe she does. Girls tend to pick up on subtle ques. If you believe yourself unworthy, on some level she is very likely aware of that. If you don't believe you're good enough for her, why should she?

It's possible that once you do believe yourself good enough, she might still not. But that's not your problem. You can't make her love you. You can only change yourself. First make yourself lovable, and then allow others to choose for themselves whether or not to love you.

[Angle]

...That is good advice. Thank you.

[Fenrir]

From how I've seen her behave, I'm pretty confident she genuinely
does find me uncomfortable.

Maybe she does. Girls tend to pick up on subtle ques.

Girls can smell fear.