The story is well known, a fortress that once produced the most beautiful Adamantine (read Mithril) metal, destroyed by an evil Goblin attack. What most do not know, is the story of Urist McFriendly.
McFriendly was a lazy yet social Dwarf. He spent his life burrowed next to an emergency lever in the Meeting Hall. McFriendly knew every Dwarf, from the miners to the soldiers; he was their friend, their confidant. One day the relentless task master, that directs the Dwarves in their building, decided to remove the burrow of Urist McFriendly. This new taste of freedom pleased him. He wanted to see the mines, so McFriendly grabbed a cage to haul down to the famed goblin trap. There were many sights on the way down, including a gem encrusted diorite lever named Isanlist, created by a deaf-mute named Moody McUseless. It made McFriendly happy to see the wood paneling depicting the dismemberment of Ner Oredir, the scorpion beast from a forgotten time. Feeling elated he rushed to his destination. The surroundings changed suddenly, the smooth stone replaced by the raw walls of a freshly mined corridor. Urist McFriendly could see his destination. It was a blood covered cage trap. Having never been in the real world, McFriendly did not know the dangers of this area, so he ignored his surroundings and installed the cage. Success! The cage was reloaded, but not long before an Arrow pierced his skull.
Back at the Meeting Hall, the news of his death hit everyone hard. There was an emergency, however, the goblins were attacking. There was a draft, everyone grabbed whatever weapons could be found. Most were weaponless, opting instead to wrestle enemies. The sudden draft did not sit well with Urist's brother, Fisty McFriendly. Fisty gathered at the barracks to find that there was only one helmet remaining; the helmet was in the hands of Wimpy McSoftskull. Fisty could not endure his rage, pushed on by the draft and the passing of his brother. Fisty punched Wimpy, killing him instantly.
All hell broke loose, brother killed brother, father killed son. In the end, only one Dwarf remained. Durin McInsane. Durin gathered the bodied of his friends and family in a room, and wrote a book called The Logs of Moria. It chronicled the attack of the evil Goblins. An attack which never happened.
Durin eventually lost his life, when Balrog, the forgotten beast came to his fortress.
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Topic: Mines of Moria, A Dwarf Perspective. (Read 1503 times)