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[Criptfeind]

It's still alive. Axe it why.

[freeformschooler]

Okay, I've learned my lessons from running two sessions. Lessons that will apply to this forum game since it uses exactly the same ruleset:

-I will not make you fight Trax, Brax's twin brother, who gets +100 to attack and deals 1d2 damage, effectively doing nothing as you kill yourself via failing rolls.
-I will not force you to fight a wall for 17 turns.
-The dungeon will not detonate because Hitty linked a news story.
-I will not make walls deal 1d6 damage to you if you violate their personal space.
-I will not make an exploding TherosPherae golem. Okay, I might actually do that.
-You will not win the game by hugging the final boss, thus causing to dungeon the reconsider detonating.
-It is far more entertaining to make the enemies self-destruct when they reach 0 HP.


You wave your arms, make a silly face and shout, "YOUR MOM WAS A FROZEN TUNIC", thus allowing you to shoot frozen polyester at the EELY! It takes four damage! It explodes! You take four damage from the explosion! You gain fifteen XP! You use another exclamation point for good measure!

Beyond the dead EELY is an island with a LUTEFISK CUBE on it.


Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 24/30
Level: 2 [45/50]
Sidequests: Kill the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK
Stats:
STR 11 (+0)
DEX 12 (+1)
INT 11 (+0)
AC 7
Skills: Axe: The Axening, Eyebrow Enlargement Surgery
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Axe (wielded), Suspiciously Heroic Armor (worn), Spellcrafter's Toolkit, Half-assed Ice Bolt Gem

[Aklyon]

Take the period at the end of that and throw it in the lutefisk cube to see if theres a trap on the island.

If that doesn't work, ignore it and search for our sidequestee.

[Hitty40]

Throw The Fool at the lutefisk cube to find traps!

[cerapa]

Okay, I've learned my lessons from running two sessions. Lessons that will apply to this forum game since it uses exactly the same ruleset:

-I will not make you fight Trax, Brax's twin brother, who gets +100 to attack and deals 1d2 damage, effectively doing nothing as you kill yourself via failing rolls.
-I will not force you to fight a wall for 17 turns.
-The dungeon will not detonate because Hitty linked a news story.
-I will not make walls deal 1d6 damage to you if you violate their personal space.
-I will not make an exploding TherosPherae golem. Okay, I might actually do that.
-You will not win the game by hugging the final boss, thus causing to dungeon the reconsider detonating.
-It is far more entertaining to make the enemies self-destruct when they reach 0 HP.

Punch a wall, explode. And then critically fail a middlefingeroll.

Anyway, jump onto the island. Or go with Hittys plan and throw TF at it.

[The Fool]

Throw The Fool at the lutefisk cube to find traps!

This.

[freeformschooler]

You take the period from the end of the last update and throw it at the island with the Lutefisk Cube on it from afar, pretending it's TF. You roll a natural twenty, which causes the period to magically transform into TF! TF waves at you from the island, but he missteps and triggers a fire trap, causing him to catch fire and ultimately turn to ash.

Well, at least you know the island is trapped.


Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 24/30
Level: 2 [45/50]
Sidequests: Kill the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK
Stats:
STR 11 (+0)
DEX 12 (+1)
INT 11 (+0)
AC 7
Skills: Axe: The Axening, Eyebrow Enlargement Surgery
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Axe (wielded), Suspiciously Heroic Armor (worn), Spellcrafter's Toolkit, Half-assed Ice Bolt Gem

[Aklyon]

Find our target, throw target onto LUTEFISK CUBE TRAP.

[freeformschooler]

You successfully find your target via SUMMONING BIGGER FISH. The MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK falls through the dungeon ceiling! It crashes through the floor of the island, causing the Lutefisk Cube to tumble down to Floor 2 of the dungeon! The MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK flies back up through the floor and fires a pair of LUNG ROCKETS at you. They explode on contact, dealing 6+6=12 damage! You pick up and throw the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK at the fire trap. The flames go off and the fish catches on fire, taking 5 damage.


Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 12/30
Level: 2 [45/50]
Sidequests: Kill the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK
Stats:
STR 11 (+0)
DEX 12 (+1)
INT 11 (+0)
AC 7
Skills: Axe: The Axening, Eyebrow Enlargement Surgery
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Axe (wielded), Suspiciously Heroic Armor (worn), Spellcrafter's Toolkit, Half-assed Ice Bolt Gem

[The Fool]

Axe the fish where it's been. Grill it for information.

[freeformschooler]

The MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK floats backwards off the island and above some water. It attempts to fire a second pair of LUNG ROCKETS at you, but it rolls a 1, causing the rockets to detonate before they even leave its LUNG CANNONS! This causes its third and final pair of LUNG ROCKETS to also blow up in a collateral explosion, causing it 1+6+1+2=10 damage in total.

You take this opportunity to AXE the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK where it's been. It tells you it's been busy sitting around at home all day playing and creating forum games. You don't really care. It takes 2 damage, and you fall into the water below it after succeeding your jump attack.


Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 12/30
Level: 2 [45/50]
Sidequests: Kill the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK
Stats:
STR 11 (+0)
DEX 12 (+1)
INT 11 (+0)
AC 7
Skills: Axe: The Axening, Eyebrow Enlargement Surgery
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Axe (wielded), Suspiciously Heroic Armor (worn), Spellcrafter's Toolkit, Half-assed Ice Bolt Gem

[Aklyon]

Fire the half-assed ice bolt!

[freeformschooler]

You pull your right hand out of the water, wave it around a bit and fire frozen polyester at the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK. You roll a natural 20. The polyester detonates upon hitting the lungfish, dealing 12 damage in total to the creature. It looks nearly dead.

The MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK is like, "screw this", and charges at you from above. It knocks you on your back. Thankfully, you know how to float. You take four damage!


Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 8/30
Level: 2 [45/50]
Sidequests: Kill the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK
Stats:
STR 11 (+0)
DEX 12 (+1)
INT 11 (+0)
AC 7
Skills: Axe: The Axening, Eyebrow Enlargement Surgery
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Axe (wielded), Suspiciously Heroic Armor (worn), Spellcrafter's Toolkit, Half-assed Ice Bolt Gem

[Aklyon]

Axe it if it needs a bath.

[freeformschooler]

You axe the lungfish if it needs a bath. It doesn't really matter whether or not it needs one, though, because that last hit sends it crashing into the water by somehow disabling its floating powers. You have gained 50 EXP, which turns into 5 EXP due to that being all you need to level up!

Choose between the following traits:

Bonus Hoarder: You have a certain finesse with accumulating increasingly ridiculous stat bonuses. +1 to STR, DEX, INT and AC.
Mental Hard Drive: You can memorize up to one spell from any SPELL GEM in your inventory indefinitely.
Cryomaniaxe: You occasionally freeze enemies solid with your strikes.


Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 22/40
Level: 0 [0/100]
Sidequests:
Stats:
STR 11 (+0)
DEX 12 (+1)
INT 11 (+0)
AC 7
Skills: Axe: The Axening, Eyebrow Enlargement Surgery
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Axe (wielded), Suspiciously Heroic Armor (worn), Spellcrafter's Toolkit, Half-assed Ice Bolt Gem