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[Zako]

Axe: The Axening. Let's go axe crazy!

[Criptfeind]

Mace is best weapon of all time. GO WITH DAT FOO

[freeformschooler]

Rolling a 2 out of 3 for a tiebreaker, you take AXE: THE AXENING, and your WOODEN SWORD morphs into a WOODEN AXE like some kind of WOODEN TRANSFORMER. Then it morphs back into a toy car.

You are now in a room with some things in it. On the north wall, a STATUE OF SIDEQUESTIA is giving you this look that's kind of weirding you out. SIDEQUESTIA is not a patient made-up goddess, as opposed to some other made-up gods like the LUTEFISK GOD. Speaking of Lutefisk, you see some of that on the ground, as well as a stack of PLASTIC BOLTS. Vendor trash, amirite?

To the south lies another door.


Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 25/25
Level: 1 [0/20]
Stats:
STR 10 (+0)
DEX 10 (+0)
INT 10 (+0)
AC 5
Skills: Axe: The Axening
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Axe

[Criptfeind]

AXES ARE ACCEPTABLE: CLOCKWORK AXE HO!

Ask SIDEQUESTIA WASUZ.

Also take the lutefisk and the lutefisk as soon as you find a cube.

[Ottofar]

AXES ARE ACCEPTABLE: CLOCKWORK AXE HO!

Ask SIDEQUESTIA WASUZ.

Also take the lutefisk and the lutefisk as soon as you find a cube.

[Kestrel_6]

AXES ARE ACCEPTABLE: CLOCKWORK AXE HO!

Ask SIDEQUESTIA WASUZ.

Also take the lutefisk and the lutefisk as soon as you find a cube.

[freeformschooler]

You walk up to SIDEQUESTIA and commence a STARE-OFF. SIDEQUESTIA, however, is a statue, and wins the stare-off easily. As punishment, she inflicts you with a single point of SIDEQUEST DAMAGE. Your new SIDEQUEST is to find and destroy the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK. It can be found on this floor.

You lootfisk the lutefisk. It is added to your inventory in the case that you ever need to restore EXACTLY ONE POINT OF DAMAGE.

The southern door starts speaking like a southerner. Or maybe that's just your imagination.


Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 25/25
Level: 1 [0/20]
Sidequests: Kill the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK
Stats:
STR 10 (+0)
DEX 10 (+0)
INT 10 (+0)
AC 5
Skills: Axe: The Axening
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Axe (wielded), Lutefisk

[10ebbor10]

Summon the medium Lungfish child of EEK
Then kill it.

[The Fool]

You've had it with these doors. Whenever a door starts a talkin' your boot shall come a knockin'. Kick that door so hard it'll see the curvature of the earth.

[Darvi]

Women love the smell of AXE.

Just had to say it.

[freeformschooler]

You attempt to cheat your way through the SIDEQUEST by summoning the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK. However, the GM in this game is even less lenient than the GM in the last one, and thus gives you an automatic 1 for attempting to summon random things you should not be able to. You shiver. It's gotten a little cold in here.

You prepare to kick down the southern door. The southern door attempts to invite you to its DOORHOUSE so it can serve you BISCUITS AND TEA, but you turn down its offer. And by turn down its offer you mean you kick it so hard that it goes into orbit. Goodbye, door!

Behind the door lies a lone ELECTROBLOBBY near a pool of water. In the middle of the pool of water, there is a platform with an ARTIFACT AXE on it. You have no idea how you'd get to it, though.

The ELECTROBLOBBY advances on you while saying, "i hope your death message is unfunny".


Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 25/25
Level: 1 [0/20]
Sidequests: Kill the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK
Stats:
STR 10 (+0)
DEX 10 (+0)
INT 10 (+0)
AC 5
Skills: Axe: The Axening
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Axe (wielded), Lutefisk

[Darvi]

Make a mental note about that axe until you learn how to jump over crevices. Let the blobby advance so you can get first strike.

[cerapa]

Axe the blobby a question.

[Criptfeind]

Whoa whoa whoa. Why did we not pick up the soon to be lutefisk as well? Also known as dem bolts.

But yeah. Let the blobby get close enough then axe it a question.

[freeformschooler]

You make a mental note about the watery grave and its associated HOLY GRAIL OF AXES. At least it looks like the HOLY GRAIL OF AXES. You will come back to it later. After all, what's an adventure game without boring backtracking?

You then let the ELECTROBLOBBY advance on you, allowing you first strike. You axe it thusly: "Do Blobbies feel pain?" Except your axe goes down too fast to finish the sentence. You have rolled a 19, which with +2 is a 21, AKA double damage AKA 6 damage AKA 1-hit KO. The blobby bursts into little bits of goo. You gain 5 EXP! It's a shame it wasn't, like, 20 EXP. Oh well.

You notice a door to the east and a stone pathway running alongside some water to the west. Your EYEBROW VISION is insufficient to see all the way to the west.


Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 25/25
Level: 1 [5/20]
Sidequests: Kill the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK
Stats:
STR 10 (+0)
DEX 10 (+0)
INT 10 (+0)
AC 5
Skills: Axe: The Axening
Abilities:
Items: Wooden Axe (wielded), Lutefisk

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Whoa whoa whoa. Why did we not pick up the soon to be lutefisk as well? Also known as dem bolts.

But yeah. Let the blobby get close enough then axe it a question.

I was confused since you said lutefisk and the lutefisk, so I didn't guess that was what you meant. You might end up coming back that way though.