Okay, I've learned my lessons from running two sessions. Lessons that will apply to this forum game since it uses exactly the same ruleset:
-I will not make you fight Trax, Brax's twin brother, who gets +100 to attack and deals 1d2 damage, effectively doing nothing as you kill yourself via failing rolls.
-I will not force you to fight a wall for 17 turns.
-The dungeon will not detonate because Hitty linked a news story.
-I will not make walls deal 1d6 damage to you if you violate their personal space.
-I will not make an exploding TherosPherae golem. Okay, I might actually do that.
-You will not win the game by hugging the final boss, thus causing to dungeon the reconsider detonating.
-It is far more entertaining to make the enemies self-destruct when they reach 0 HP.
You wave your arms, make a silly face and shout, "YOUR MOM WAS A FROZEN TUNIC", thus allowing you to shoot frozen polyester at the EELY! It takes four damage! It explodes! You take four damage from the explosion! You gain fifteen XP! You use another exclamation point for good measure!
Beyond the dead EELY is an island with a LUTEFISK CUBE on it.
Name: Lucy Pooplord
HP: 24/30
Level: 2 [45/50]
Sidequests: Kill the MEDIUM LUNGFISH CHILD OF EEK
Stats:STR 11 (+0)
DEX 12 (+1)
INT 11 (+0)
AC 7
Skills: Axe: The Axening,
Eyebrow Enlargement SurgeryAbilities:Items: Wooden Axe (wielded),
Suspiciously Heroic Armor (worn),
Spellcrafter's Toolkit,
Half-assed Ice Bolt Gem