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[Duntada Man]

I have a ranger, who I have recently renamed Riggs thanks to his behavior that has proven to me he belongs in an 80's cop movie.

A giant struck my fortress, causing me to pull all my dwarves inside. All but one. One solitary hunter who would follow no orders, for he knew what must be done for the good of the outpost of Shootconfuse!

See I didn't know anyone was out there until I saw a veritable stream of bolts flying at this giant while I watched it make it's way into the meat grinder I call a hallway. Looking around I found my towns one hunter, loaded down with 40 bronze bolts. He was not part of the military, he was ordered not to use anything but bone, wood and iron when hunting, but he still went out there with the best bullets he could find and shot down that giant.

Best part is, he was laying in a bush the whole time, and somehow the giant never figured out where it was being shot from, which might have something to do with the fact the combat reports showed the first two successful hits shooting out the giant's eyes. Now I'm picturing Riggs as an elite sniper carefully picking his shots so the enemy will never see them coming, the easiest way is to make sure the enemy has no eyes!

Does anyone else have any stories about random acts of unnecessary badassery from their civilians?

[zubb2]

Not so much badass as determined my crossbow squad armed with bone crossbows and no ammunition only shell armor tried to beat a cow to death.

They tried for so long the elves left the,cow even lived to go home to elf land.

[King DZA]

I had a dwarf beat the shit out of a giant toad that tried to attack her bunny. Although, After getting its ass handed to it by the bunny loving dwarf, the toad quickly reconsidered its target, and instead turned his focus toward trying to bite off the arm of a furnace operator.

[Sphalerite]

I had a legendary miner digging a moat several Z-levels deep, when a goblin ambush made up of crossbow-goblins appeared on the edge of the moat and opened fire.  I canceled the digging, sure that the miner would die before he could escape.  He then strolled out through a rain of bolts, untouched.  Checking the combat log I see repeated notes hof him batting bolts out of the air with his pickaxe.  I'm picturing him nonchalantly walking away, casually swinging his pickaxe to deflect bolts as he went.

[Mitchewawa]

I once opened up the circus, and the legendary miner who did it immediately struck down 5 clowns made of steam, ash and salt before falling. I know they're particularly easy to kill, but he instantly killed five clowns before any other could even try to land a hit on him.

[Monkeyfacedprickleback]

I had a woodcutter get ambushed by a squad of bowgoblins lead by a crossbow goblin. they shoot everything in their quivers and he was still alive. With 30~ something arrows and bolts in him. Bleeding from every limb, paralysed and unconscious. They then tried to beat him to death with their bows and crossbow. Until the Milita arrived and slaughtered them all. the dwarf died on the operating table. Guy was hard to kill.

[Telgin]

I remember that my first titan ever was taken out by my fort's only hunter.  I was excited, this was a moment I'd been waiting for!

After I got the announcement, I sent my only military squad out to get it, and was confused when I couldn't find the titan anywhere.  I checked the combat logs, and my hunter decided to shoot it twice: once to fracture the shell, and once to tear the brain.

I'm pretty sure that hunter later got killed by a tantruming fisher while I was discovering the fun of freezing rivers.

[Lordraymond]

I had a woodcutter get ambushed by a squad of bowgoblins lead by a crossbow goblin. they shoot everything in their quivers and he was still alive. With 30~ something arrows and bolts in him. Bleeding from every limb, paralysed and unconscious. They then tried to beat him to death with their bows and crossbow. Until the Milita arrived and slaughtered them all. the dwarf died on the operating table. Guy was hard to kill.

Dwarf medical procedures: More likely to kill you than 30+ projectiles being forcefully launched into your body.

[Jake]

A personal favourite is my first ever dragon attack, which came while I was still getting the hang of the military, but while an elven caravan guard was taking on the dragon singlehanded with her bow to give the caravan time to escape -which is itself rather badass- I managed to muster a couple of squads who were at least armed with something to defend the back door. Everyone came charging out to meet it, the dragon breathed fire at them and it was all rather confusing for a few seconds...

And when the smoke cleared, the dragon was dead and not a single dwarf was even scratched. Some barely-trained speardwarf was credited with the kill, but that was probably by sheer luck; I like to imagine two dozen dwarves piling on at once and stabbing or slashing away like mad, making up for their inexperience with sheer enthusiasm.

Another incident that stands out in my memory is from my third ever fort, and the first that held together long enough to receive a baron. I'd just established a rudimentary fortress guard, no armour to speak of and armed only with plain iron shortswords of indifferent quality. One of the recruits was the mother of a young infant, since I was and still am lousy at keeping track of who was who, and she was a fisherdwarf on a map with a perpetually frozen river and needed something to do.

So, one day a goblin snatcher wanders onto our lands, and spots a dwarven woman carrying an infant standing in the statue garden outside the main entrance. Perfect, he thinks to himself, There's no sentry, and I needn't even try to sneak inside! He creeps up on her, opens his giant cave spider-silk sack, and makes a grab for the babe...

Well, talk about failing a spot-check. I don't think the poor sod even got to draw his dagger, and for all her lack of proper training the woman did herself and the fortress proud. Her first and only swing took his head clean off, and sent it whirling off in a high arc to lodge in a nearby tree. My dwarves never did get around to taking it away to the refuse heap; I can only assume they found his expression amusing.

[Loud Whispers]

A farmer dwarf runs outside my above ground-fort's fortifications, to grab some goblinite. Unfortunately at the same time a bow gobby and two lasher sieges were going on. The bow gobbys fire arrows at the fleeing farmer, who dodges all but one arrow... It strikes him in the shoulder, and he staggers onto a cage trap.

Seeing his doom, he triggers the cage trap and is hoisted into the air into a nether-cap cage (cool from the scorching desert biome lol), safe from the lashers, which seem content to just wait around the cage. My candy-clad military of 90 dwarves gets ready to counter attack, but a sole legendary miner... Going outside to stockpile save the caged dwarf bumps into the lashers, and single handedly drives them off, stabbing, smashing and swinging his pick, up to the point where he even scattered the survivors, leaving them easy prey for the military.

The caged dwarf's cage is placed down, and he is released. Looking at his thoughts in hospital, the dwarf is happy to be rescued.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW £:

The miner then proceeds to continue digging at his quarry..... Ever watchful. Batdwarf.


Oh and my favourite chief medical dwarf.
He was legendary from the migrant "volunteer trials," in the name of medicine of course! And particularly sad at the news of his freinds being killed in a siege, he, rather sad, stitches up an injured Dwarf, who gladly leaves the hospital. Or I should say tried to leave the hospital.
The medical dwarf picks up a boulder and throws it at the happy patient, who is hit in the skull, and killed on his way out.

Derpherphperderpherp.

[ledgekindred]

A fort on one of the early 0.31 releases was on the receiving end of an ambush. 

Err, well, let me back up a bit.  This isn't so much about bravery as it is about "going above and beyond."  Ermm..  Well you'll see.

So the ambush is early in the fort's life so I didn't have much in the way of traps or military.  A half dozen of the goblins got into the entrance area of the fort and started causing havoc.  I had some poorly trained military on the way but there were already a handful of dorfs in the entrance hall, easy targets for the goblin spearmen.

One of my dorfs gets pinned in the corner by one of the goblins.  Who, naturally, starts stabbing her.  And stabbing.  And stabbing. 

And stabbing.

There's two important things about this goblin standing in the corner repeatedly stabbing this poor dorf over and over.  One is that it kept the goblins distracted enough that they stopped advancing.  The other is that the one goblin was just far enough around the corner that he was scaring the rest of my dorfs away before they could run out into the ambush after all those lovely socks and get all stabbified like Urist McPincushion. 

Meanwhile the goblin is still stabbing away.

Eventually the military shows up and chases them away. 

Urist McPincushion has every single part of her body in red.  She is bleeding from everything that has blood in it.  But she still hasn't fallen over.  Early 0.31 bugs were neat.

Rather than being buggy, I like to think that the combat with Urist McPincushion went more along the lines of:

Goblin: Die!  stabby stabby
Urist McPincushion: Oh my Armok, hello!  Well aren't you the skinny one.  stab  Does your mother feed you enough?  You really should try some of Urist's Plump Helmet Roast.  It's to die for!  stab I could give you the recipe stab stab but you know how that goes.  Family secret and all.  Oh, but where are my manners!  stab  Welcome to our little fortress.  It's so lovely to meet you!  stab  You certainly are the ambitious fellow aren't you, with this lovely spear.  stab  Not like my son, Urist McMiner.  stab stab  No, I told him he should be a doctor, like his father.  But does he listen to his mother? stab Of course not.  "Mining is an honorable profession for a dwarf" he says. stab stab  I say, "Sure, and how are you gonna meet a stab nice girl stab down in stab those stab tunnels all the time?  Do you want to be like your cousin, with the 32 cats?"  stab stab stab stab
Goblin: Why won't you shut up and die?! (Breaks down sobbing)

[Duntada Man]

I had a woodcutter get ambushed by a squad of bowgoblins lead by a crossbow goblin. they shoot everything in their quivers and he was still alive. With 30~ something arrows and bolts in him. Bleeding from every limb, paralysed and unconscious. They then tried to beat him to death with their bows and crossbow. Until the Milita arrived and slaughtered them all. the dwarf died on the operating table. Guy was hard to kill.

The only thing that can kill some dwaves is a doctor!

[Frying Doby]

My first fortress ever.
My very first Titan. A flyer too.
I thought: "Oh shit", waiting to forbid the entrance-Hatch-Cover as soon as the last dwarf got in ( Yeah I thought that will work) and hoped for the best.
A few seconds later an ambush killing all but one of the dwarfs outside and the noob-military but at least they left.
And I totally forgot about the Titan.
Almost a year later, I finally set up a hospital and a fisherdwarf was the first patient, the one guy who survived being outside, but I had no idea why he was injured.
I took a look at him and see under Kills: One Titan..... huh? When did that happen? He was promptly drafted into the military.
Sadly he died of infection later because a failed-mood-dwarf killed the entire hospital-staff.

The Titan probably wanted to take his carp....

[o_O[WTFace]]

My lazy quarantine procedures allowed a forgotten beast to sneak into the fortress, beware its poisonous bite.  Two militia dorfs get there right away and begin fighting and one child decides to help out and starts punching it.  The kid ends up getting bit in the foot and eye and someone carries him off to the hospital.  Before the doctor is even finished boozing up he is all better and walks off without a crutch.   

[Duntada Man]

That kid is HARDCORE.

Also, I now have three of them. Riggs, Callahan, and Murtaugh.

Seriously, are all hunters badasses now? I remember them running away from carp (back then, who wouldn't?)

but now these guys are hiding in bushes and killing the living crap out of goblin seiges before my actual army can get out there. I guess I shouldn't be surprised about random civilians shooting everything in sight if I'm going to name the place "Shootconfuse" but I expect unarmored hunters to have some kind of preservation instinct.

Awesome side note 1: while shooting the living hell out of goblins despite the commissioner's orders, the lone gunmen are still labeled as "hunting."

Awesome side note 2: Callahan shot a gobbo in the hand to disarm him, then killed him with his bare hands.