Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Trapezohedron]

> "Kneel before Zod Darvi!"

> Then suddenly know about Frankie's situation and attempt GLORIOUS PLOTHOLE INDUCING NECROMANCY on her soul.

[EveryZig]

Greet SWAMP WIZARD

[Darvi]

Neutral good.

Darvi: Paint coat grey.

Darvi: Neutral good! Then, lets search for stuff.

My WTF-meter just went off the charts.

[cerapa]

Neutral good.

Darvi: Paint coat grey.

Darvi: Neutral good! Then, lets search for stuff.

My WTF-meter just went off the charts.

You got mighty small charts.

Its simple, you are now the protagonist. And your last name is Pooplord.

[Darvi]

Me being NG is pretty wtf-worthy.

[freeformschooler]

You shout: "I am the pooplord! Master of all poop, swamps and sewage! Kneel before me, swamp wizard!" Except you don't do that, since you're a silent protagonist. The SWAMP WIZARD appears stunned by your failed attempts to gain control of it.

You then try some necromancy on no one in particular. Unfortunately, you are not able to raise anything from the dead quite yet. However, what with necromancy being a decidedly EEEEVIL magic, you lose 2 HP just for trying.

You then take the old-fashioned route and greet the SWAMP WIZARD. The SWAMP WIZARD, upon inspecting you, realizes that your attire is now at least half filth, and believes you to be another SWAMP WIZARD. He gives you a spare tome of SWAMP MAGIC and disappears into the murk once more.


Name: Darvi Pooplord
Gender: Male
Level: 1 [0/20]
Health: 23/25
STR: 10 (+0)
DEX: 10 (+0)
INT: 12 (+1)
AC: 10
Abilities: None
Traits: Neutral Good
Inventory: Finely Crafted Map
Weapons: Tome of Swamp Magic
Armor: Ochre Coat

[10ebbor10]

Read swamp magic tome

[Trapezohedron]

> Update description of Ochre Coat to "Filthy Ochre Coat", then descend into the murk like the swamp wizard. Surely, he couldn't have used magic to do that?

[freeformschooler]

You read the TOME OF SWAMP MAGIC. It has a bunch of funny symbols, like a lily pad, a tree, a frog... and pretty much every SWAMP-RELATED SPELL you can think of, such as "SUMMON FROGS", "THROW MURK", and many more. Clearly, this is the most useful thing you've encountered so far.

You decide to mimic the SWAMP WIZARD'S actions and descend into the murk. You spin around like water being sucked down a bathtub drain. Before you know it, you're free of the murk and in a completely different area!

You are plopped down in a HALLWAY. To the west, you hear nothing. To the east, you hear the sound of IRONIC MEAT. There seems to be an exit to the south, too.


Name: Darvi Pooplord
Gender: Male
Level: 1 [0/20]
Health: 23/25
STR: 10 (+0)
DEX: 10 (+0)
INT: 12 (+1)
AC: 10
Abilities: None
Traits: Neutral Good
Inventory: Finely Crafted Map
Weapons: Tome of Swamp Magic
Armor: Ochre Coat

[10ebbor10]

Look up
Also, summon a swamp necromancy tome

[cerapa]

Look up
Also, summon a swamp necromancy tome

You should always look up.

Especially when someone doesnt describe the ceiling and especially when they do.

[freeformschooler]

You look upwards. You see the sparkling visage of the GM looking down at you. The GM is getting a little uncomfortable with you staring at him like this. The GM shows you a Hussie-style image of yourself in an attempt to distract you.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You are distracted. The GM flees to a different part of the dungeon! He did not expect you to get here so fast.

Meanwhile, you attempt to summon a SWAMP NECROMANCY TOME. You fail your roll, and take 2 damage for attempting to summon a tome of EEEVIL magicks.

You hear something shifting around to the west.


Name: Darvi Pooplord
Gender: Male
Level: 1 [0/20]
Health: 21/25
STR: 10 (+0)
DEX: 10 (+0)
INT: 12 (+1)
AC: 10
Abilities: None
Traits: Neutral Good
Inventory: Finely Crafted Map
Weapons: Tome of Swamp Magic
Armor: Ochre Coat

[10ebbor10]

Summon a tome of easy  but effective swamp healing magic

[freeformschooler]

You touch your wounds. They sting! Ow! You decide to attempt to summon a TOME OF SWAMP HEALING MAGIC, as opposed to, say, seeing if your existing TOME had any healing spells.

However, you roll a 1 on your summoning roll! The GM smites you by teleporting you to the room to the west - which FRANKIE never explored - and barring all exits. Inside the room, you see the crypt's miniboss:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

QUEEN GOHMA FROM OCARINA OF TIME!

Given how you have no swords, you're going to have to be creative with your SWAMP MAGIC.

You suddenly realize that you're the only SILENT PROTAGONIST in the adventure currently. If you die, the game will be over!


Name: Darvi Pooplord
Gender: Male
Level: 1 [0/20]
Health: 21/25
STR: 10 (+0)
DEX: 10 (+0)
INT: 12 (+1)
AC: 10
Abilities: None
Traits: Neutral Good
Inventory: Finely Crafted Map
Weapons: Tome of Swamp Magic
Armor: Ochre Coat

[10ebbor10]

Summon Swamp copyright infringment suit