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[Trapezohedron]

That seriously was a metaphorical groinshot.

Follow it up with a real one.

This. And keep his ASSHOLE BONE to yourself.

[freeformschooler]

The ASSHOLE SKELETON reels from the metaphorical groinshot. You conjure up some ELITIST FIRE, and shoot it at his loins, literally setting them on fire! Or that would be what happened if you hadn't missed. You lose 1 EP doing nothing. What a shame.

The SKELETON would attack you, but is now too busy reading about SONICHU, the worst comic ever made, on tvtropes. He'll probably be stuck there for hours.

Do you take advantage of this?


Name: Frank Frankie Frankson IV
Gender: Female
Level: 1 [15/20]
Health: 10/25
Elitist Points: 1/5
STR: 10 (+0)
DEX: 10 (+0)
INT: 12 (+1)
AC: 10
Abilities: Disc Magic
Traits: None
Inventory: Poor man's robe, Ironic meat chunk
Weapons: Bronze dagger, TM 44

[EveryZig]

Sneak up behind him and steal his skull off his neck. Resist the urge to read over his shoulder.

[Trapezohedron]

NO DON'T DO THAT! DON'T READ WHATEVER IT'S READING!!!1!

[freeformschooler]

You sneak up behind the ASSHOLE SKELETON like a Looney Toons subterfuge scene where a musical note plays with every step you make. You resist the urge to read what the thing was reading, and put your hands on his ASSKULL, popping it off. The Skeleton would not normally die from this, but due to only having a tiny bit of HP left, it clatters to the ground.

You gain 10 EXP, which is the same as gaining 5 EXP since your EXP just is just reset to zero upon leveling up. You have leveled up! You must choose between the following traits/abilities:

Cherub Wings: You gain tiny little wings like those babies that are always drawn naked. You can't fly with them, due to not being a baby, but you do nonsensically gain 5 MP and 2 DEX.
Alchemy Except Failure: You can easily combine any two items for the cost of half your max MP. The result will not always be that great.
Arm Muscles: You didn't even have to work out to gain these. You gain 2 STR and 5 HP.


Name: Frank Frankie Frankson IV
Gender: Female
Level: 2 [0/50]
Health: 10/25
Elitist Points: 1/5
STR: 10 (+0)
DEX: 10 (+0)
INT: 12 (+1)
AC: 10
Abilities: Disc Magic
Traits: None
Inventory: Poor man's robe, Ironic meat chunk
Weapons: Bronze dagger, TM 44

[Darvi]

Screw up and take both the wings and the muscles. End up with one beefy arm sticking out of your shoulder.

[cerapa]

Screw up and take both the wings and the muscles. End up with one beefy arm sticking out of your shoulder.

This sounds like a brilliant plan.

[Trapezohedron]

Screw up and take both the wings and the muscles. End up with one beefy arm sticking out of your shoulder.

This sounds like a brilliant plan.

Yes, indeed this is a brilliant plan.

Let's see how things will be when it looks like one man had too much "personal time"

Oh wait, I forgot this guy is female.

*squicked*

[freeformschooler]

You come up with a brilliant plan to get both the wings and muscly arms! It's so crazy that it has to work. Unfortunately, you do not roll the required 20 on your MIDDLE FINGEROLL, and the GM smites you by turning your left arm into a large white wing. You drop the TM 44 as you can no longer dual-wield anything. You gain 1 STR, 1 DEX and 2 MAXIMUM ELITIST POINTS.

You should still probably find some sort of light source if you want to find a way out of this ASSHOLE DUNGEON.


Name: Frank Frankie Frankson IV
Gender: Female
Level: 1 [15/20]
Health: 10/25
Elitist Points: 3/7
STR: 11 (+0)
DEX: 11 (+0)
INT: 12 (+1)
AC: 10
Abilities: Disc Magic
Traits: Wing Arm
Inventory: Ironic meat chunk, Asskull
Weapons: Bronze dagger
Armor: Poor man's robe

[Trapezohedron]

> Freak out. Ask the GM to revert you to what you were before this turn, because losing an arm means losing all kinds of fun.

...and then, lose the middle fingeroll again.

[Darvi]

Nooo, this'd be an anti-middlefinger-roll. Like, an apology-roll?

[cerapa]

Derp. Personally would be peeved by stuff like that too.

Also, whats keeping one from wielding stuff with a wing, cmon, it would be awesome.

[freeformschooler]

"Please, oh great GM, wouldst thou grant me forgiveness?" You plead and plead, and roll a 15, and the GM decides, out of sympathy, to lower the difficulty class of the roll JUST THIS ONCE to 15. Your LEFT WING is taken away, along with the related bonuses. However, you do not get to choose another ability or trait until level 3.

You pick up the TM 44 again. You now realize that you could probably use your ELITIST FLAMES to see around the dungeon for a few moments.


Name: Frank Frankie Frankson IV
Gender: Female
Level: 2 [0/50]
Health: 10/25
Elitist Points: 0/5
STR: 10 (+0)
DEX: 10 (+0)
INT: 12 (+1)
AC: 10
Abilities: Disc Magic
Traits: None
Inventory: Ironic meat chunk, Asskull
Weapons: Bronze dagger, TM 44
Armor: Poor man's robe

[cerapa]

Use elitist flames to see. Dont have enough elitist points to burn the place down.

[freeformschooler]

You conjure some totally rad ELITIST FLAMES, which costs you your last ELITIST POINT. You are now able to see around the area for a minute. To the south, an old wooden door stands unlocked but closed. To the east, metal bars block the way through what you presume to be an old sewage duct. There's only a little bit of water running through it.

On the floor, you can see a single UNROTTEN PIECE OF VENISON. Finally, something to eat!


Name: Frank Frankie Frankson IV
Gender: Female
Level: 2 [0/50]
Health: 10/25
Elitist Points: 1/5
STR: 10 (+0)
DEX: 10 (+0)
INT: 12 (+1)
AC: 10
Abilities: Disc Magic
Traits: None
Inventory: Ironic meat chunk, Asskull
Weapons: Bronze dagger, TM 44
Armor: Poor man's robe