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Author Topic: You are in a crypt. GAME OVER!  (Read 7918 times)

Hubris Incalculable

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #15 on: December 08, 2011, 04:58:55 pm »
Do a spinning sword attack and chop his hands off!

Er... On second thoughts, forget about the spnniy bit. just chop off his hands.
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freeformschooler

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #16 on: December 08, 2011, 05:00:24 pm »
The ZOMBIFIED DOUCHEBAG continues to moan at you, inching ever closer. You realize that he's probably hitting on you.

"So, uh... What are you doing tonight?" You tilt your head coyly.

The ZOMBIFIED DOUCHEBAG stops walking. "Oh, the usual. Eating adventurers. Being a huge uncreative reference. You?"

"Nothing in particular," you say, leaning on the steel door. "You wanna maybe... go get some brains?"

And so you spend the night coupled in homoerotic necrophiliac-

POP. Your dream bubble bursts as you remember that it can't be homoerotic because you never specified which gender you were! The ZOMBIFIED DOUCHEBAG takes out a ZOMBIFIED KATANA and stabs you with it, dealing FIVE damage. Ouch!

You stab the ZOMBIFIED DOUCHEBAG in the face. A direct hit! The ZOMBIFIED DOUCHEBAG lets out a backwards moan instead of a forward one. You probably just messed up what brain functions it had left. The ZOMBIFIED DOUCHEBAG takes 4 damage, and loses its SINGLE POINT OF INTELLIGENCE.


Name: Frank Frankie Frankson IV
Level: 0 [0/1]
Health: 20/25
Abilities: None
Traits: None
Inventory: Poor man's robe, Bronze dagger
Weapons: Bronze dagger
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Darvi

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #17 on: December 08, 2011, 05:01:41 pm »
NIIINJA FFS.

Do the ironic thing and use necromancy on it.
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Hubris Incalculable

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #18 on: December 08, 2011, 05:04:29 pm »
You are obviously Female. But your Dad, Frank Frankie Frankson III, wanted to have a fourth Frank Frankie Frankson in the family, so he named you that.
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Darvi

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #19 on: December 08, 2011, 05:05:14 pm »
FrankenFran?

Oh gog I'm horrible.
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Hubris Incalculable

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #20 on: December 08, 2011, 05:05:49 pm »
More like Frances.
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Darvi

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #21 on: December 08, 2011, 05:07:54 pm »
?
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Hubris Incalculable

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #22 on: December 08, 2011, 05:08:48 pm »
Touche.
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Bdthemag

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #23 on: December 08, 2011, 05:09:39 pm »
Keep stabbing dammit!
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Quote from: freeformschooler on December 02, 2011, 10:33:54 pm
Well, you do have a busy life, what with keeping tabs on wild, rough-and-tumble forum members while sorting out the drama between your twenty two inner lesbians.
Quote from: Lord Inquisitor on August 11, 2012, 11:16:20 pm
Quote from: Bdthemag on August 11, 2012, 11:15:08 pm
Your drunk posts continue to baffle me.
Welcome to Reality.

Darvi

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #24 on: December 08, 2011, 05:10:11 pm »
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freeformschooler

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #25 on: December 08, 2011, 05:10:33 pm »
The ZOMBIFIED DOUCHEBAG clearly has an excellent handle on irony, given that its very moans sound ironic. You decide to fight fire with fire, and wave your arms, casting NECROMANCY on the ZOMBIFIED DOUCHEBAG!

Suddenly, a black tendril out of nowhere stabs you in the chest. You rolled a 1 on your necromancy! AAAHHHHHH!

The black tendril disappears, but you have taken 5 damage.

The ZOMBIFIED DOUCHEBAG attempts to stab you again, but it misses, even though you're standing right in front of it. Good thing this game runs on attack rolls, or that would be really silly, even for a zombie!

You have decided that you are female.


Name: Frank Frankie Frankson IV
Gender: Female
Level: 0 [0/1]
Health: 15/25
Abilities: None
Traits: None
Inventory: Poor man's robe, Bronze dagger
Weapons: Bronze dagger
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Monkeyfacedprickleback

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #26 on: December 08, 2011, 05:11:01 pm »
Sloppy Zombie Makeouts Dammit!
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Bdthemag

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #27 on: December 08, 2011, 05:11:43 pm »
Fuck doing the ironic thing, use your HEALING SPELL to damage the zombie!
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Quote from: freeformschooler on December 02, 2011, 10:33:54 pm
Well, you do have a busy life, what with keeping tabs on wild, rough-and-tumble forum members while sorting out the drama between your twenty two inner lesbians.
Quote from: Lord Inquisitor on August 11, 2012, 11:16:20 pm
Quote from: Bdthemag on August 11, 2012, 11:15:08 pm
Your drunk posts continue to baffle me.
Welcome to Reality.

Darvi

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #28 on: December 08, 2011, 05:12:03 pm »
Zombify thyself. Then ^^

Oh gog why am I even suggesting this.
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EveryZig

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Re: You are in a crypt.
« Reply #29 on: December 08, 2011, 05:13:20 pm »
Retreat to the previous room, and lure the zombie onto the golden items. Either a trap will be sprung, or we have confirmed free stuff.
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Soaplent green is goblins!
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