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[Demonic Spoon]

AbrawhatevercomesnextohgodIcantremembersuchasimplespell so hard.

And name self Bob

And then summon the elder gods

[Rockowl]

AbrawhatevercomesnextohgodIcantremembersuchasimplespell so hard.

And name self Bob

And then summon the elder gods

And then conjure dirtbike, with or withour ponies/lovecraftian customisation. Use said bike to defeat the four horserides of the apocalypse in a deathrace with no rules.

Sidequest: Find something to drink.

[Trapezohedron]

AbrawhatevercomesnextohgodIcantremembersuchasimplespell so hard.

And name self Bob

And then summon the elder gods

And then conjure dirtbike, with or withour ponies/lovecraftian customisation. Use said bike to defeat the four horserides of the apocalypse in a deathrace with no rules.

Sidequest: Find something to drink.

And alter your perception that things work this way when you think they work that way, instead of things operating on the laws of logic.

[cerapa]

You have gained a new trait: AbrawhatevercomesnextohgodIcantremembersuchasimplespell

You cannot name self Bob, cause you already probably have a name, and finding that out after naming yourself Bob would be awkward and confuse everyone you have met in the past, if you have met someone in the past, and if you actually have a name, which you might not have.

With your new MAgICAL powers, you attempt to summon the elder gods, a dirtbike and some horseriders to beat with the deathbike. Needless to say, you fail horribly and use all your mana. Instead you summon a dirt god, a horsebike and an elder-rider.

As you are apparently younger than the elder-rider, it jumps on your back and attempts to ride you, jockey style, you are certain it is going to direct you towards acid. The dirt god leaves, cause hes a GODDAMN GOD and doesnt give a crap. The horsebike is just weird. Sitting there, staring at you with its beady horsebike eyes.

What do you do?
Name: , a level 2 minor eldritch wannabe
Experience: [20/60]
Health: [79/21/100]
Mana: [0/15]
Traits:

• Bad Savvy: You have an incredibly wrong impression of the world, somehow you dont utterly fail though. Bonus on actions that really shouldnt work.
  
• AbrawhatevercomesnextohgodIcantremembersuchasimplespell: You are MAgICAL, holy shit that sounds weird. Anyway, you can cast basic spells and horribly botch harder spells. There might or might not be a connection with Lovecraftian horrors and the darkness here. There is also the chance of ponies, or possibly Lovecraftian ponies. The sky is the limit with spells.

Inventory: Raggy clothes(equipped), silver necklace(equipped),2 sharp ribs(equipped), a hat of skulls(equipped)
Weapons: sharp rib(left hand), sharp rib(right hand), mouth, left foot, right foot

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Forgot to mention, that blue health there, thats zombie health. This dude/girl is 1/5 zombie.

[freeformschooler]

Throw the Elder Biker off. Ride the Horsebike into him.

[cerapa]

You throw the elder-rider off, though the thing is clingy and left a few scratches when you tried to pull it off. You jump on the horsebike and attempt to run the elder-rider over, but the darn thing had gotten up by then and leapt onto your back again. The horsebike accelerated faster than you expected, causing you to lose balance and do a semi-backflip onto the ground.

The elder-rider is crushed under you and the horsebike. You are crushed under the horsebike. And the horsebike is quite happy with what its done, gets up, and galiantly gallops away in a way that only horsebikes can. You shed a tear as the magnificent creature moves away in the corridor, and you hope you will see it again in the future.

In other news you have managed to find out that you regenerate one mana every 2 turns. You also gain 10 XP for technically defeating the elder-rider.
Name: , a level 2 minor eldritch wannabe
Experience: [31/60]
Health: [79/10/100]
Mana: [1/15]
Traits:

• Bad Savvy: You have an incredibly wrong impression of the world, somehow you dont utterly fail though. Bonus on actions that really shouldnt work.
  
• AbrawhatevercomesnextohgodIcantremembersuchasimplespell: You are MAgICAL, holy shit that sounds weird. Anyway, you can cast basic spells and horribly botch harder spells. There might or might not be a connection with Lovecraftian horrors and the darkness here. There is also the chance of ponies, or possibly Lovecraftian ponies. The sky is the limit with spells.

Inventory: Raggy clothes(equipped), silver necklace(equipped),2 sharp ribs(equipped), a hat of skulls(equipped)
Weapons: sharp rib(left hand), sharp rib(right hand), mouth, left foot, right foot

[forsaken1111]

Wait until mana is full.

[cerapa]

You wait until your mana is full, which is 28 turns. It is quite boring. On a scale of 1 to 10, you would say its a 17,5. Of course the waiting reviewers have been constantly bumping up the scores in one-upsmanship so much, that its basically an average score right now. Just the other day you heard someone gave a score of 31?! Ludicrous!

No, thats not right at all. You dont remember anything, much less the scoring system of boring-ness. You just made that up! You decide you have to do something else a bit and you get the amazing idea to finally draw yourself a mental map. It is a very important distinction from an actual map, which occasionally get outdated and needs paper and something to write with. Mental maps are superior in every way.

What do you do?
Name: , a level 2 minor eldritch wannabe
Experience: [31/60]
Health: [79/10/100]
Mana: [15/15]
Traits:

• Bad Savvy: You have an incredibly wrong impression of the world, somehow you dont utterly fail though. Bonus on actions that really shouldnt work.
  
• AbrawhatevercomesnextohgodIcantremembersuchasimplespell: You are MAgICAL, holy shit that sounds weird. Anyway, you can cast basic spells and horribly botch harder spells. There might or might not be a connection with Lovecraftian horrors and the darkness here. There is also the chance of ponies, or possibly Lovecraftian ponies. The sky is the limit with spells.

Inventory: Raggy clothes(equipped), silver necklace(equipped),2 sharp ribs(equipped), a hat of skulls(equipped)
Weapons: sharp rib(left hand), sharp rib(right hand), mouth, left foot, right foot

Code: (Map) [Select]

═════╦═══@═╡???
     ║         
    ▉▊▉
    ▉▉▉
    ▉▉▉

[freeformschooler]

Head west.

[cerapa]

You head west until you come across a group of 3 doors. 2 to your right and one to your left. The one to the left is completely normal and inconspicious. The ones to the right are very suspicious. You feel like they are plotting against you with their little plots and dooriness.

What do you do?
Name: , a level 2 minor eldritch wannabe
Experience: [31/60]
Health: [79/10/100]
Mana: [15/15]
Traits:

• Bad Savvy: You have an incredibly wrong impression of the world, somehow you dont utterly fail though. Bonus on actions that really shouldnt work.
  
• AbrawhatevercomesnextohgodIcantremembersuchasimplespell: You are MAgICAL, holy shit that sounds weird. Anyway, you can cast basic spells and horribly botch harder spells. There might or might not be a connection with Lovecraftian horrors and the darkness here. There is also the chance of ponies, or possibly Lovecraftian ponies. The sky is the limit with spells.

Inventory: Raggy clothes(equipped), silver necklace(equipped),2 sharp ribs(equipped), a hat of skulls(equipped)
Weapons: sharp rib(left hand), sharp rib(right hand), mouth, left foot, right foot

Code: (Map) [Select]

╩══╦═╩══════╦═══@═╡???
            ║         
           ▉▊▉
           ▉▉▉
           ▉▉▉

[freeformschooler]

>Head through the middle door.

[Roboboy33]

That would be rude! We must knock first.

[Trapezohedron]

> Enter the White House.

[cerapa]

You knock on the door to the left, as you are a very polite person and totally not clinically insane. You hear a scuttling noise, from beyond the door, but choose to open the door and enter.

You didnt see much before you entered, but your eyes quckly adjusted to the darker room. In front of you is a really really really big spider. Some might call it a giant spider, but you would prefer to leave that title for something even bigger.

The door closes behind you, you attempt to open it but it seems to be stuck. Well, shit.

Its a pretty big room, compared the the really really really big spider. Theres all sorts of decorations everywhere and you think you can see a crystal ball on a pedestal in the back end of the room, there is also a chest, but you highly doubt you could reach them without taking out the spider first.

What do you do?
Name: , a level 2 minor eldritch wannabe
Experience: [31/60]
Health: [79/10/100]
Mana: [15/15]
Traits:

• Bad Savvy: You have an incredibly wrong impression of the world, somehow you dont utterly fail though. Bonus on actions that really shouldnt work.
  
• AbrawhatevercomesnextohgodIcantremembersuchasimplespell: You are MAgICAL, holy shit that sounds weird. Anyway, you can cast basic spells and horribly botch harder spells. There might or might not be a connection with Lovecraftian horrors and the darkness here. There is also the chance of ponies, or possibly Lovecraftian ponies. The sky is the limit with spells.

Inventory: Raggy clothes(equipped), silver necklace(equipped),2 sharp ribs(equipped), a hat of skulls(equipped)
Weapons: sharp rib(left hand), sharp rib(right hand), mouth, left foot, right foot

Code: (Map) [Select]

╩══╦═╩══════╦═══@═╡???
   ║        ║         
 ▉▊▉▉▉     ▉▊▉
 ▉▉▉▉▉     ▉▉▉
 ▉▉▉▉▉     ▉▉▉
 ▉▉▉▉▉
 ▉▉▉▉▉
  ▉▉▉



[freeformschooler]

Cast a Charm Animal spell on the spider.