Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[FearfulJesuit]

For years, we have tried to figure out how dwarves can support an entire tower on one pillar of cat soap, or build a giant bridge with a few stones.

I have had some recent insights into Dwarven biology which may explain this most curious phenomenon.
We begin by observing that adamantine, also known as cotton candy, is an element from the (proposed by Earth chemists) "island of stability" beyond ununoctium. Unusually for an element of such high atomic number, it is incredibly light, sharp and- more to the point- strong, by many orders of magnitude beyond even modern carbon-fiber alloys. Dwarves need a small amount of adamantine in their diets, which is provided by trace amounts in the soil.

Normal human beards are just like our hair: they are made of a protein called keratin, which is strong, but not that strong. Dwarven beards are different: they are made of adamantin, a protein similar to keratin in which several atoms of adamantine have been added to a keratin-like structure. The result is a beard which is no less soft than a human beard- not being sharp at all- but which acquires all the strength of adamantine.

When a dwarf builds a support, they're using the support, not as a support per se, but as a connector. To this support, they tie their beard hair, which is extremely flexible and elastic, and then tie the other end to whatever the support is connecting. The result is that the support is the epicenter of an almost-invisible (and invisible to the player) web of extremely strong adamantin strands, which create a web supporting the building- even a large tower. This is the secret of not only dwarven architecture, but also the unusual properties of dwarven mechanisms.

[peskyninja]

Dwarven saliva solidifies when it enter in contact with air.

[Shook]

Hmm, yes, YES! It doesn't explain how their fists can cave in skulls though. I mean really, does the toughness of their beard come at the price of a cardboard skull? Because that's what i suspect. Normally you'd have to throw a substantial amount of punches to cave in a skull, but a dorf head goes concave when faced with a really mean sideways glance. What gives?

[612DwarfAvenue]

The Adamantin extracts nutrients and the like from the Dwarf's head, making the skull go all soft. That also explains their general lack of intelligence, it's because their brain development's stunted since their beard's taking all the nutrients away.

[Koji]

I have always joked that a dwarf's beard acts as a gas mask to prevent them from asphyxiating on furnace smoke underground.

It also stores food and drink that they consume throughout the season after stocking it once.

[peskyninja]

No. No. NOOOO. It's wrong, when Armok created the world he  forgot to remind the dwarves that when you burn wood IN a workshop it produces smoke the same way it does when it's burned elsewhere.

[612DwarfAvenue]

No. No. NOOOO. It's wrong, when Armok created the world he  forgot to remind the dwarves that when you burn wood IN a workshop it produces smoke the same way it does when it's burned elsewhere.

That makes me wonder if the Dwarves are like WH40k's Orkz, in that they're all essentially psychic, and if they all collectively believe something is true then it will be true, just like with the Orkz's WAAAGH. They all believe burning wood in a workshop makes no smoke, ergo it makes no smoke. They believe that wagons are bigger than Dragons in some abstract way, ergo the wagons are bigger. They used to believe Carp were fish-like demons who could rip a man's head off with a single bite, but evidently someone caught on to the fact they can change reality by getting all the Dwarves to think the same thing, and so somehow convinced all the Dwarves that Carp were a lot less dangerous than they originally thought.

[peskyninja]

Agree, also dwarves use their beards as lockpicks.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

So explain why this can be done if you mod humans or elves to be playable?

[612DwarfAvenue]

So explain why this can be done if you mod humans or elves to be playable?

Perhaps the psychic field's caused by Armok controlling a race, so if you (Armok) play as Humans or Elves or so on, then that'll give the abilities to that race.

[rex mortis]

You are missing the obvious. Toady clearly plays Orks and it reflects on DF. Orks are awesome though.

[Funk]

dwarfs have strong thick skulls its just that all the drink has truned there brains to a pickled mush.

like wise i life time of being drunk has given them an odd view of pain, a dwarf can have a limb cut off and still fight but the same dwarf will use a broken toe to get out of work for months.

[Shook]

dwarfs have strong thick skulls its just that all the drink has truned there brains to a pickled mush.

Lies, combat reports always tell of shattered skulls tearing through brains when dorfs punch each others faces. Perhaps it's a defense mechanism to shield their mushy brains from concussions? Instead of taking the brunt of the impact, the skull acts as a crumple zone, much like how cars have their front crumple. Unfortunately for the dorfs, this crumple zone is right next to their brains.

[peskyninja]

Maybe this is a evidence that the god who created Dwarfs is not Armok, but soem dump Dwarf god described as a berserking Yak in fetal position.

[Deimos56]

So explain why this can be done if you mod humans or elves to be playable?

Perhaps the psychic field's caused by Armok controlling a race, so if you (Armok) play as Humans or Elves or so on, then that'll give the abilities to that race.

I'm willing to bet the elves generate the field from their ears.

...Not sure on where goblins and humans would, though... I guess since goblins are basically green elves with an attitude problem, they'd generate it from ears too.