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[Mercutian]

     I wanted to try making this thread to see if I can get any serious OH SHIT moments out of you people. Things where the motif was "I cant believe I just survived that" or your typical "that was insane!" type of thing.

     That being said im still new to DF only having played for about a week, 8 forts in and I have a pretty decent handle on things. Still learning with every fort and with many of the helpful suggestions of you guys and whatever I can decipher off of the DF wiki.

     So my biggest moment so far starts with a mass cull of population after I hit 138 stone-backs in wave 5 with the ability to provide for 50. After just learning how to burrow, I forced them all into a room on the surface and allowed them the dignity of starving to death inside stout dwarven walls. This including women and children and just all around people i didnt like. I had already planned for the burial and the repercussions of losing a few loved ones with statue gardens and parties and whatnot.

     Population goes from 138 to 60 after the last man falls the the ground holding the skeletal remains of his wife holding the skeletal remains of her only daughter when I declare a success for the continued survival of my fort. Fast forward about 3 years, population about 100-115 and my fort is practically under martial law. Still not having recovered from the mass purging of their supposed loved ones (I guess you can learn to love through a fence too) as I attempt to understand how militia works and put down the average farmhouse shankings and stone-dump beatdowns with my lone squad of 10 dwarves armed with pretty much whatever came off the last shipment from the mountainhome.

     Just then I am beseiged by the goblin horde for the 3rd time and still not really understanding how to get them to STAY THE FUCK STILL ran as fast as they could into the pointy end of the waiting green horde. As I see this happening I immediately lock the front door with the 3 remaining dwarven shock guard of the Copper Righteousness (not made up) and panick as I try to make them organize in the hallway. I didnt see the 6+ orges and 30 some odd goblin rearguard until they were inside the fort and as I watched them make a mockery of my defenses I did what any same man would do.

     10 seconds later game time 100+ men, women, and id like to think children, came screaming out of their burrow a few levels below. Raw fish and hunks of animal from the days hunting clutched in bone white knuckles as they mobbed the 2x2 hallway behind the last remaining guard. 1 minute later the dust clears and I have 17 dwarves left. 1 of them, Urist McBrickshitten, the last remaining guard of the Copper Righteousness, lies flat with what I can only expect is 2 broken spines and 3 missing arms. So I detail a mass dump of the gear and continue bringing my fort to glory.

-EDIT- On another note, my burial chamber is pretty bitchin'. Takes up a whole floor and is actually larger than my main floor with production and housing combined. To date, 198 deaths, all buried with space for 50 more. Quite the optimist eh?

     What about you guys?

[nerdyboy321123]

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=34430.0

Edit: also this: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=89448.0

[tommy521]

*A vile force of darkness has arrived*
Okay, a siege! Sounds fun!
*A vile force of darkness has arrived*
*A vile force of darkness has arrived*
Uhm...
*A vile force of darkness has arrived*
Holy crap!
*A vile force of darkness has arrived*
My god!
*A vile force of darkness has arrived*
*A vile force of darkness has arrived*

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

shit.

Fortress defense mod is awesome...

[Mercutian]

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=34430.0

Edit: also this: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=89448.0

Didnt think it was quite the same thing, but WTF moments might work, thanks.

[imperium3]

Nah, this thread isn't remotely the same as the facepalm thread, it has good potential too.

My contribution:

"The bronze colossus Malduz Scratchclashed the Ace of Matching has arrived! A huge bronze statue animated by magic and bent on mayhem."
It's ok, my only entrance is heavily cage-trapped, we're safe as houses.
"Some migrants have arrived."
LOL at the migrants getting turned into chutney. Wait, where's Malduz going?
...Is that another entrance to the fort?
OH SHIT!!!

I lost my entire military and at least a third of the civilian population to that bastard and my misunderstanding of which ramps are accessible and which aren't.

[NonconsensualSurgery]

Blizzardmen.

They're nearly immune to bludgeoning damage. Dwarves only bruise fat. Dogs bite them and tear skin, but fail to reach vital organs. I had no weapons and only about 20 dwarves. Of course, they break the arms of my miner after he lands two good slashes and my woodcutters keep throwing their axes into the snow so that they can punch better. My dwarves dogpile them and punch them until they give into the pain.

Blizzardmen.

Blizzardmen.

Darnit.

Blizzardmen.

From the extremely long combat logs, I learned that dwarves can cause piercing damage with their teeth. Unfortunately they don't bite very often. About the same rate a Blizzardman heals. Every once in a while someone would remember that they could use an axe and send a head flying, but it took a very long time for that to happen and I could never figure out why.

The entire fortress got pretty good at punching things. Unfortunately, things like food production suffered. Almost as soon as the last blizzardman was mauled by dogs, dogpiled by dwarves for a month and then decapitated they started going insane and tantruming. Enough survived to continue but it was a Pyrrhic victory for the dwarves.

Funnest embark ever.

[Pokon]

Was having a skirmish in the underground with half of the military when I got this message:

A vile force of darkness has arrived

Now, normaly this would not be that bad. Exept, the better portion of my fort was above ground, with the military usualy on the surface patroling.

Naturaly, because I gave these buggers steel weapons, nearly the entire fort that could even cut wood properly was shot down in a rain of steel arrows.On the other hand, my dwarves below ground were fighting a gem-person, which ment a long while would pass before it would die and my fort could restart itself.

Then the Dragon came.
 When it breathed, ten years worth of dwarven people, along with the entire gobbo army, was melted. It was smoking for days because some where just too fat to die.

I had to quite the fort when the Dwarves found a Jabberer and everyone died exept the one guy sleeping. Said guy went aboveground, presumably to get a candy sock.

[King DZA]

You mean OH SHI- moments that I actually survived? That's a hard one...Probably the time that goblin siege happily strolled over all three walls of my DeathMaze during a logging operation, and made their way down the ramp conveniently placed next to the outdoor meeting area. After that day, my fort began relying primarily on underground trees for logs.

I have a wood stockpile that could put someone into an epileptic seizure now, but it's better than losing any more of my veteran soldiers to something so easily preventable...

EDIT: Oh yeah, and the siege documented in my sig, of course(not sure how I forgot that). There were quite a few moments where I felt the fortress was royally fucked during that little battle.

[Mercutian]

Of course, they break the arms of my miner after he lands two good slashes and my woodcutters keep throwing their axes into the snow so that they can punch better.

I was roflmfao for quite a while.

[KodKod]

I had one on my very first fort.

I didn't know a huge amount about DF at the time, but I was learning quickly and I had already prepared myself for the eventual goblin ambushes that I knew would come eventually. Seeing as how I hadn't got a firm grip on how the military worked at the time I decided that in the event of a siege I would simply seal up my fortress with a bridge at my main entrance.

I had a couple of other outdoor areas which led into my base, no bridges this time, that I was using as pastures for a few animals, but I had walled them off to prevent the goblins from entering. Aside from that I only had a few cage traps on the inside of my main entrance in the event that the goblins made it inside before I could close the damn thing.

So eventually they show up miles away from the entrance, thanks in no small part to the sacrifice of a woodcutter, and like a smug snake I close the drawbridge to seal everyone inside, safe and sound.

Or so I thought. Wait, what's this, why are the goblins heading towards my animal enclosures? Did that goblin just move diagonally through a wall? They can do that? Oh bugger.

60+ dwarves went to 2 in short order before the goblins managed to get themselves all caught in the scant few cage traps I had in my fortress. Thankfully they didn't tantrum because they lived in bloody amazing conditions and were ecstatic without fail because I had foolishly built my whole fortress in soil, and when I opened up the caverns the whole thing was filled with fungus, so I had to order my dwarves to paved over every.... single.... tile.... with whatever stones I could find, which happened to be marble and kaolinite.

I later abandoned that fort because I found out that "Normal" for mineral scarcity in world gen means NO METAL ORES AT ALL, but I've always made sure to be very careful with my walls ever since.

[Mercutian]

I later abandoned that fort because I found out that "Normal" for mineral scarcity in world gen means NO METAL ORES AT ALL, but I've always made sure to be very careful with my walls ever since.

Oh crap i think i just barely avoided doing that myself on this fort. Didnt even notice. Still the same fort as OP btw.

[612DwarfAvenue]

*A vile force of darkness has arrived*
Okay, a siege! Sounds fun!
*A vile force of darkness has arrived*
*A vile force of darkness has arrived*
Uhm...
*A vile force of darkness has arrived*
Holy crap!
*A vile force of darkness has arrived*
My god!
*A vile force of darkness has arrived*
*A vile force of darkness has arrived*

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

shit.

Fortress defense mod is awesome...

Was that all in the same season?

[UristMcHuman]

I was quite new at this time, but when I was digging an outdoor well, I had one of my two miners dig STRAIGHT DOWN. I thought to myself, "Hey, Urist McIdiot, you can SWIM," but then I realized that dwarves drown faster than they learn to swim. My only farmer at the time was "Unhappy" for a while, until "She yelled at someone in charge lately and felt a little better afterwards."

Another OH S*** moment that almost brought the same fort to death was the fact that the food stocks were empty. The first dwarvish caravan was at the depot, and I traded some crafts for a few plump helmets and some cave lobster. BUT my dorfs weren't hauling the purchased food to the pile, so I got desperate, and forbidded and hid the depot till the traders left the map. AAAND it wasn't till WELL AFTER the first Elvish caravan left that I decided to go and fish and cook easy or fine meals with the fish. The food issue was fixed, but then the BOOZE started running on empty. I thought "Aw, shit, REALLY?!?!?!" So I set ALL brewable plants for brewing, set Create rock Pot and Brew Drink on Repeat. The booze is going up by little trickles, but Dikefaith survived that first winter.

[thegoatgod_pan]

Inn of Drowning, last save posted.  I start playing and realize the last player made a waterfall that sucks dwarves from one of the main dining rooms into what appears to be a trench of water.

See my sig for thread

[Eric Blank]

In 40d I was forced to fight a battle with a single paltoon of well-armed orcish soldiers with nothing but my entire civilian population gone postal. It was an immediate oh shit moment because I was terrified of the implications, but luckily, this being 40d, my civies stood a chance adn actually repelled the siege with roughly as many casualties as the enemy.