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[Darvi]

1) a sweep is shorter than 2.5 years and
2) The years are hadcoded so you have to convert the units. Good thing too or else The redbloods would start dying of old age after a dozen turns.

[freeformschooler]

I might have gone to sleep outside because of being caught in a kill order? Dunno, might have to cancel that.

Either way, for sweeps I've been diving by two and rounding down. So 12 and 13 would be 6-sweep, etc.

[Putnam]

For sweeps, I took x(6/13), where x=the troll's age.

Also, piles of finished goods? That's great! What kind, statues? Oh, I should make horns just so I can make piles!

[freeformschooler]

For sweeps, I took x(6/13), where x=the troll's age.

Also, piles of finished goods? That's great! What kind, statues? Oh, I should make horns just so I can make piles!

I probably should have mentioned that the (now legendary I think) stonecrafter has been making stone crafts non stop for an ENTIRE YEAR. There are like three finished goods stockpiles and that's still not quite enough.

[Willfor]

GREAT EMPRESSES OF HISTORY
(by HIS MOST HISTORICALLY ACCURATE ONE)

SOLAUS UNDANN
(107-108)



Few people realize the SERIOUSLY HISTORICAL nature of this great empress. I am one of them. She killed nineteen sburb players before being struck down by one. Big fucking deal. There are doubts her blood was as pure as she liked to claim. I BELIEVE IN THESE DOUBTS. Don't even get me started on the war she was in. I DIDN'T EVEN RESEARCH THAT WAR. THAT'S HOW THOROUGHLY UNINTERESTED I AM IN HER. Fuck, I'm going to go get a drink. Class, read five fucking chapters of your textbook before I get back OR ELSE. Any chapters, I don't care, JUST READ THEM.

[SirAaronIII]

1) a sweep is shorter than 2.5 years and
2) The years are hadcoded so you have to convert the units. Good thing too or else The redbloods would start dying of old age after a dozen turns.

1. I thought they were, since 6 sweep old trolls = 13 year old kids, but they might not be exactly 6 sweeps. I'll just do what freeform said.
2. Yeah I know that, but I was asking what I should interpret them as.

Anyway loading it back up after I do some other stuff. Also Putnam if you add horns for piles, you should also add "sport" so we can have sport piles. Preferably, they wouldn't stop from getting taller.

[Darvi]

6/13 != 2.5

[freeformschooler]

6/13 != 2.5

Indeed. 6/13 = approximately 0.46.

I think you mean to say 13/6. Which is 2.166666etc.

[Darvi]

Uh, right. That.

[Putnam]

Yes, this makes 13/6 closer to 2 than 2.5 >_>

[SirAaronIII]

12 Granite 415
It's been less than 2 weeks since I took over, and already there's shit going down in the caverns. SOMEONE (freeformschooler) left the stairs WIDE OPEN to the caverns, letting some zombie crundles sneak in. They're coming up the stairs to the main fort now. Go kill them, you worthless pieces of shit. And don't fall down the stairs. I'm not sure I trust you military folk with them, as they're probably too complex for your simple little think pans.

It seems our greatest stonecrafters, HERIDO SERFAR (42-sweep female light blue blood) and ARADDR KRIDAM (9-sweep male brown blood) have been doing nothing but cranking out the goods. While that's not necessarily a bad thing, it is in large enough amounts. Meanwhile, we have no drinks for festivities and other use, and no barrels to store our food in. Pots. Now. And also, I moved all the animals to one central pasture. This is most assuredly not enough space, so I've decided to order the culling of many non-useful ones. The stonecrafters will also be making some new nest boxes for the honkbirds, because we need the metal.

14 Granite 415
Finished ordering everyone to clear out the piles. Since there was a spare room lying around down below, I allowed people to put rocks there. We also needed a new dining room in good solid stone, so I got to work on that too. It looks like our carpenter and other important workers somehow got assigned to hauling duty, so I stopped that. We need those clubs for traps to replace the old stonefall ones.


Why is everyone partying? I immediately abolished partying in the dirt dining room. Hopefully that should stop it for a while.

25 Granite 415
I always thought that warm stone down below was strange. Today, a few miners and I went and took a look. To our surprise...

I've started moving all the furnaces and forges down there. In semi-related news, we've been gathering metal strands for a while and can now start making organic metals. Yay!!!

Honestly, I have no idea what to do with all this build grist the honk birds are laying. I'd say metal or coal is much more useful.

17 Slate 415
More migrants, that's always nice. It means more trolls I can extend my power over. Heheheh.

Spoiler: Complete list with names, age, blood, and job (click to show/hide)

KVISKI ARKARA, 10 sweep female brown blood bowyer
INDREY SIBJOR, 25 sweep male teal blood stoneworker
AFLAFN LYJAFN, 16 sweep male green blood animal caretaker (probably going to get drafted)
KETILL INNARR, 14 sweep male green blood pump operator (most definitely going to get drafted)
BEINNA GEROLI, 6 sweep old female maroon blood bone carver
ST[little 2 gibs symbol]RIN BEKKAR, 106 sweep old female purple blooded fish dissector (getting drafted for sure, screw your blood color)
HERIDO AMPORR, 2 sweep old male kid
HERIDO TILDAN, month old male kid, brother of the other HERIDO
INDREY DEYSTI, 16 sweep old male green blood HIGH MASTER MINER (finally met my match)
LYJAFN STEINN, 12 sweep old female green blood presser
GUNGJA EIJORG, 5 sweep female gem setter
SVEINN AGALDR, 9 sweep old female brown blood fisher (draft? draft)
AFRENG AMISKA, 6 sweep old male maroon blood metalcrafter
LYJALL EGGERI, 7 sweep old female brown blood planter (might get drafted but might not)
GJASKI GANARR, 62 sweep old male dark blue blood peasant (DRAAAAFT! might be my new militia commander)
BEINNA OLIKKI, 10 sweep old female yellow blood miner
FESTER YMARFR, 14 sweep old female green blood woodcutter
MEGGRA S[that one o thing with the slash through it]LDRA, 6 sweep old female brown blood mason
SIGUOR JAUSTA, 45 sweep old female light blue blood woodcutter
ERJAFN KYRORR, 11 sweep old male green blood crappy woodcrafter (drafted. drafted so hard)

I immediately promoted Gjaski as the militia commander of the fort. He seems like a good fit. The next step is to make some armor and weapons for the new squad but that has to come later.

27 Slate 415
The miners and I decided to add a prison and a barracks for the military to the left of the new dining room area. While we were digging it out, I received news of this:

This horror was heard swimming in the second cavern layer or whereabouts. It shouldn't be much of a challenge, seeing as it's made of ice and ice isn't exactly known for its hardness. And webs? Hahaha, so weak. Weaky weaky weak. Further reports to come after we remove it from the planet.
Huh, I never knew that. Thanks for telling me.

Anyway I have a few more questions.
1. Metal sheep aren't getting sheared. What's the minimum wool length (extremely long, quite long, etc) to get sheared? Also does the farmer's workshop have to be in the pasture to shear them?
2. What's the build grist from grist honkbirds for (besides building alchemiters)? How do you harvest (is that even the right word) it from the nest boxes?
3. How do you get weapon/armor grist for use in the alchemiter?

[Putnam]

1. It should be the same as normal sheep.
2. They should be getting put in stockpiles, but they aren't. They should have the ability to make blocks out of them, but apparently I removed that reaction for no fucking reason. It's being fixed next version.
3. Some cavern shit.

[SirAaronIII]

Aw, you mean I have to WORK for my armor?
8 Felsite 415
KORORG UNDRYA, a mason, suddenly stopped talking to everyone and started running up to the mason's workshops while smelting galena ore. Here's what he has so far:

I'm sure this will give him some experience in the masonic arts, but he's already a high master, so that doesn't really help.

14 Felsite 415
I've been hearing about some trouble with zombie dralthas on the stairway, though it's completely enclosed. Apparently people are seeing it over the walls and getting scared, so I sent out Darvi and the others to go kill them.

Kororg is done with his lapse of inspiration. He made a nice gneiss door, valued at 25200 units.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

19 Felsite 415
Elves arrived. I don't really care for them, but they have stuff and we have stuff, so it'd be good to give them stuff so they give us stuff.
We gave them a lot of stone goods that the aforementioned legendary stonecrafters made for a lot of cloth and a grizzly bear. Somehow I think the grizzly bear was the better part of the deal. I also made sure to tell Putnam to give them a generous offering of stone stuff, as we don't really need it.

4 Hematite 415
Bannate draws closer to the door to the caverns. Darvi and her squad are on the way now.

Freeformschooler is the first out the door. She leaps at the beast, fiercely aggressing it, though Bannate is able to block every shot. While it's distacted with her, Darvi comes up from behind and starts kicking it in the legs, cracking the ice. Soon all the soldiers are surrounding Bannate, kicking and whacking it, but only managing to crack the glass. Bannate is unable to get back at any of the soldiers. Finally, freeformschooler approaches cautiously and jabs it right along the cracks, causing Bannate to split in two. While I may dislike her, she IS one of the best fighters around here.

While they're down there, I decide to order the squad to explore the caverns. Much celebration is had above, with Segido the brewer making drinks for everyone. Yay! Parties!

14 Hematite 415
Amiska Damani, a peasant, keeps getting jumped by zombies. He keeps owning them too. He just took out an entire herd of zombie macaques.

22 Hematite 415
Migrants.

Spoiler: Complete list, like the one earlier (click to show/hide)

YMISTR HAKKJA, 12 sweep female yellow clothier
AFLAFN INNARK, 24 sweep male teal farmer (draft??)
BINGVA KORIDO, 32 sweep female teal crappy weaver (draft)
AGRIKI RAUNNR, 11 sweep male brown master wood burner (probably a draft)
KVISKA TORUNN, 6 sweep male brown fisher (draft but bad stats)
AFAGNA S[o thing with slash]LDAS, 10 sweep male green crappy armorsmith (draft)
EGIDAN BERIDA, 16 sweep green female potter (you could draft her if you get really desperate)
RYKKAR SEROLA, 40 sweep teal male shitty engraver (DRAFT)

Also it appears that Slyngrseggri, a musclebeast who killed several enemies of the hive, became the mayor. No, really.


1 Malachite 415
I put a statue of freeformschooler getting demoted in the shiny new dining room. Heheheheheh. Also our mayor gave birth. Ewwwwwww.


21 Malachite 415
Amiska beat a zombie horse to death again. I'm starting to think Amiska is secretly the greatest fighter in the empire. Meanwhile down in the lava forges, Afreng Amiska, our metalcrafter, has been working night and day to churn out lead goblets for trade.

14 Galena 415
The peasant/liaison SJALDR YFINDR and an accompanying caravan have arrived. Now here's something I'm actually looking forward to. Hopefully they have some actual nice stuff. Shortly after, we caught a filthy Signless follower trying to sneak in. Immediately after, we caught another one in the next cage trap. This reminded me of a project I was planning, but had forgotten: an arena for our soldiers to train in. Just drop some Signless followers in, and let the soldiers go nuts.

into the room with the fortifications for archeradicators:



17 Galena 415
Some humans arrived. Don't worry, we have enough stone crap for everyone. Can't forget the lead goblets either. In other news, it's really funny watching Sjaldr try to talk to Slyngrseggri.

25 Galena 415
The farmer Herido Helgat and the thresher Bakkur Deitak have gotten married. They didn't throw a party, though. Meanwhile, the arena is going well.

11 Limestone 415
Putnam SHOULD be trading with the trolls and humans above, but he's too busy "updating stockpile records". Somehow I don't believe him. Meanwhile, the first arena combat trial, led by the good Gjaski Ganarr, was a complete success.

The four trolls on the right are our threshecutioners, with the stunned one being the enemy.
Unfortunately, I can't get anyone to stop cleaning the blood. I'm trying to tell them it'll make it look nicer, but they say things like "dude that's so messed up why would you do that".
Putnam continues to refuse to trade. Seriously man, they're leaving. Hurry up! ARGH NO DON'T GO TO SLEEP SOMEBODY DESTROY HIS BED OKAY he's up NO GODDAMMIT DON'T GET A DRINK

16 Limestone 415
Today I found out we use the bones of our dead enemies for crafts. I've never been more proud. Also Signless followers have 5 and 7 letter names. Heretics and infidels.

Will finish tomorrow. Man the arena was more fun than it should have been.

[freeformschooler]

Set it to "anyone can trade".

[SirAaronIII]

Then we'd get ripped off or something. And we wouldn't be able to see their mood. Whatever who cares I'll do it anyway.
17 Limestone 415
That Putnam has taken too long. I've decided to run up and trade, myself. Oops, too late, there go the humans. At least the other trolls are still here. NO GODDAMMIT THEY LEFT TOO NOOOOO. There goes all hope of trade for metal or animals or other actually useful stuff.

21 Limestone 415
Soldan Skinda is proud to become the leader of our first archeradicator squad, ideally clad in leather armor. We're gonna need more leather.

28 Limestone 415
The masons are building a little entrance hallway which we will later line with cage traps. The arena shenanigans were quite entertaining, and everyone wants to see it happen again. For that, we'll need prisoners, which the cage traps will provide.

10 Sandstone 415
More migrants.

Spoiler: List blah blah blah (click to show/hide)

KARIDO EGNARR, 22 sweep female light blue crappy dyer (draft? draft)
INNARK GLUGAM, 12 sweep male green surgeon
EGIDAN GEIMBR, 13 sweep male green crappy animal trainer (drafted)
FALDRA YOVANR, 12 sweep female green clothier
SEGGJA LEINGA, 9 sweep male brown crappy clothier (draft)
PUNDAS KORANA, 35 sweep female light blue crappy hunter (draaaaft??)
SJALDR FALFDA, 8 sweep male brown suturer

27 Sandstone 415
This should speak for itself.


Holy shit he has almost all the armormetal bars in the whole fort. Definitely going to need more of those.

1 Timber 415
Amiska beat a zombie horse to death. Definitely a war hero right here.

10 Timber 415
Teinnr finished his goat bone door, worth 121200. He calls it The Ferocity of Youth. I like that name.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

14 Timber 415
Oh noooo, Sburb players.

We're woefully unprepared. I order all the woodcutters and haulers back inside, but I don't think they'll make it back in time. If we can beat them or otherwise disable them, this will give us many MANY great new weapons and armor, but I strongly doubt we'll win. Maybe the cage traps will save us? It looks like we have enough traps to catch them all. Eh, not taking any risks. LOCK THE DOORS!!!

Oh shit, they cruised right past the traps. All the traps were able to do was humorously catch the leader's horse. They flew over the doors with their fancy jet wings or whatever. Looks like we're going to have to send the poorly equipped and trained military out. GO DARVI GO! It looks like the enemy commander, Carle Slusawpird is killing our carpenter, Karing Korido. Yeah, no way Karing's getting out of that alive. Oh shit no now Darvi and BD are getting killed oh nooooo


Several other troops rush up to their deaths, including freeformschooler. The Sburb players easily cut down everyone they see, and begin descending into the lower floors.



Now they've made it to the lower stone level, where everyone's holed up. It's a massacre out there. OH SHIT ONE'S COMING THIS WAY IT'S THE COMMANDER GOTTA RUN OH NO HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME NOO


If this is the got tiger civ you were talking about, they sure lived up to my expectations. If not, then that was just sad. But really? In the 3rd year? That's just dirty. Now the fort is pretty much dead.
TO-DO LIST FOR NEXT PERSON THAT I WROTE BEFORE EVERYTHING WENT TO HELL

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

- More metal. MORE METAL!!!!
- Gjaski and Ulfdar's squads aren't armored, though they should be armed. Get them full armormetal stuff.
- Try actually training them? I guess that might work.
- Buy more metal honkbirds and metal sheep.
- More bedrooms.
- Buy some leather. Lots of it, preferably.
- Maybe smooth everything?