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[klingon13524]

let's try this one:

the best way to be single is to not have a kitchen.

No.. Just no...

[cerapa]

Bump, in hopes that I'll get a decent (original) entry.

You are pretty damn picky.

Theres been a bunch of funny stuff in this thread. What did you expect, something that would literally make you explode from laughter? Something that no-one in the history of mankind has ever done before?

[Dutchling]

let's try this one:

the best way to be single is to not have a kitchen.

Oh, I have another one:
Women don't need watches, theres a clock on the oven!

[shadenight123]

fine then. i will now present you with the funniest and most original one pun ever: unwrap it.

[Itnetlolor]

Seeing as some of these, actually pretty good one-liners, are being rejected; I suppose we'll have to resort to Seltzer & Friedberg level witticisms.

"KIM KARDASHIAN?!?!"

Ugh. That hurt to write down. -_- Felt like what fragments of my dignity were left have given up on life and committed sepukku.

Speaking of which... God, if you are truly all-loving and omnipotent, please show us mercy, and unleash the fires of Hell upon this Earth and call forth the Apocalypse. I beg of you O Lord, as your noble follower: Show us mercy.

The government is more than willing to censor the internet, yet is also perfectly willing to protect these guys from copyright infringement. There is no justice left in the world.

A special place in Hell is reserved for these guys and anybody who wholeheartedly supports them. They must live, for eternity, in their movies; not as directors, but as themselves "parodied" by themselves as characters that regularly get killed and inexplicably revived and killed by their own "jokes" near-constantly. This is their punishment for their crimes against humanity. The only way out to repent: make God laugh, or at least 95% of the universe. Have fun.

[klingon13524]

Seeing as some of these, actually pretty good one-liners, are being rejected; I suppose we'll have to resort to Seltzer & Friedberg level witticisms.

"KIM KARDASHIAN?!?!"

Ugh. That hurt to write down. -_- Felt like what fragments of my dignity were left have given up on life and committed sepukku.

Speaking of which... God, if you are truly all-loving and omnipotent, please show us mercy, and unleash the fires of Hell upon this Earth and call forth the Apocalypse. I beg of you O Lord, as your noble follower: Show us mercy.

The government is more than willing to censor the internet, yet is also perfectly willing to protect these guys from copyright infringement. There is no justice left in the world.

A special place in Hell is reserved for these guys and anybody who wholeheartedly supports them. They must live, for eternity, in their movies; not as directors, but as themselves "parodied" by themselves as characters that regularly get killed and inexplicably revived and killed by their own "jokes" near-constantly. This is their punishment for their crimes against humanity. The only way out to repent: make God laugh, or at least 95% of the universe. Have fun.

They're pretty good, but mostly unoriginal.

[Atomicdremora]

Quoth the Klingon:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Canalan]

Five peanuts were walking down a dark alley in a bad part of town.  One of them was a salted.  Peanut.

[Cecilff2]

I thought about entering this contest, then I took an arrow to the knee.

[Endymion]

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[Canalan]

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

...
...
...
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

[McTraveller]

I don't want to enter for the game, and it would probably do me no good anyway since my computer likely won't play the game in question (I use a Mac laptop and don't dual-boot) but one of my favorites is (it probably doesn't count as a one-liner either):

A man is walking down the street pulling a rope.  An onlooker asks, "Hey, why are you pulling that rope down the street?" The man responds, "You ever try to push one of these things?"

[Trapezohedron]

Let's pour out the unfunny.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

[Bdthemag]

I used to like getting shot in the knee, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

[Pandarsenic]

Well right now i'm in the middle of some trigonometry, but sine me up!

Best in the thread so far.



At the risk (guarantee) of factual innacuracy:

It's a good thing dinosaurs were large, green, and scaley. If they were small, green, and fuzzy, they would have been tennis balls.