There once was a captain of a pirate ship. Every time he went into battle, he would seek out and duel the enemy captain- and before he did this, he always called to his first mate and said "Bring me my red shirt!". One day the crew had recently pilfered a British port town, which is an extremely brash thing to do. They were fleeing from Britain, but they saw a ship getting close to them on the horizon. So the captain called to his first mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" Later they battled the ship. His crew battled the enemy crew, and he battled the captain. He was wounded, but won. The crew did not see his wound however, because his red shirt hid the blood- so his crew saw him and said "How brave our captain is! Surely we can fight just as well!" and they defeated the crew of the enemy ship. The next day they were pursued by two ships. The captain called to his first mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" and he wore it into battle. He dueled both the enemy captains, and the crew, amazed that their captain seemed to be able to defeat two skilled British captains without a single wound, pushed themselves so hard that they managed to defeat both of the enemy crews. But the day after that, there were ten ships on the horizon. The captain knew he would need more than just a red shirt to defeat them all and escape into the Atlantic; he needed a truly special plan, an ace in the hole. So he called to his first mate, "Bring me my brown pants!"
...and that's my one liner.
Author
Topic: One-liner game contest! (The winner is...) (Read 12293 times)