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[Doughnut189]

So I was scrolling through my units list today, only to find a child with a flashing name,

"What's this," I thought, "A child that has become legendary in some menial skill?

I was surprised to find

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

After seeing how he was legendary in pretty much all social skills, I decided the name "Yuri" was fitting.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well at least he has refined tastes.

He is also friends with forty members of the fortress, all but three-
and he's only three.

So what should I do with this dwarf-child prodigy? Make him mayor? Send him off to achieve world-peace? Trick the humans into becoming a slave race? Throw lots of parties and get crunk?

IDEAS

[TeleDwarf]

Have you made your dwarves speak russian?  Could you upload those language files?

[acetech09]

Give him an office - oak table, platinum floors, big windows... Build a whole fortress dedicated to the pampering (and exploitation) of this prodigy. Definitely make him mayor and broker.

Perhaps dupe the fort and see how he does in the military. Perhaps as a marksdwarf - a bit safer for him.

[Henrik Undrgrim]

Make a monument worthy of his already great achievements.Build statues and gardens and sacrifice unbelievers because this is clearly Urist McGoddwarf re-born.

[Akura]

Drop him in magma.

Then watch the tantrum spiral.

[Loud Whispers]

Drop him in magma.

Then watch the tantrum spiral.

I agree, but not now. Get more dwarves, train them, equip them and then weaponize this child. He shall be the harbinger of the end.

[Doughnut189]

Have you made your dwarves speak russian?  Could you upload those language files?

Here I used this:

http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4352

Also I think it would please Armok if I used this gift against his enemies, instead of against myself.

[Loud Whispers]

Have you made your dwarves speak russian?  Could you upload those language files?

Here I used this:

http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4352

Also I think it would please Armok if I used this gift against his enemies, instead of against myself.

Unless you can get him to talk goblins and elves into fighting each other off a cliff, this is the only way to weaponize him beyond loading him in a ballista.

[Psieye]

This was a lot more common in the old days. Children sit around in meeting zones and talk to anyone. Everyone else only gets marginal time with them as they're only idle briefly but the children get EXP from everyone.

[raptorfangamer]

well, hopefully he wont learn mind control.
at least not soon

as for the weaponization of that, you could easily make him be really friends with the militia, drop the child on gobbos while the militia is near, and if they go berzerk you have one angry weaponized being.

[Sphalerite]

As soon as he becomes an adult, expect him to be elected mayor.  Start stockpiling his favorite materials.

[Doughnut189]

I'm pretty sure someone with legendary in all those stats would be psychic.
That's why I named him Yuri.

[Loud Whispers]

I'm pretty sure someone with legendary in all those stats would be psychic.
That's why I named him Yuri.

He will only abuse his gifts to become mayor. Expect Dwarf heads to roll one way or another.
_{>Dramatic sound effect<}

[Broseph Stalin]

Well if he dies most of your fortress is going to lose it so you now have a "kill my fortress" button for any goblins who happen to be wandering by. I'd build him a nice room with a nice dining room and a nice office and a nice bed then seal him inside with tons of food and fine booze. When he grows up you can teach him to engrave and make him the black box of your fortress. Long after your fortress has fallen and he's gone insane from the psychic realization that everyone he's ever cared about has died the walls and floor will recount the end of days.

[sirdanilot]

Yes, make your entire fort dedicated only to the worship of this child. Train legendary cooks for his meals, legendary brewers for his booze, give him a legendary bedroom with artifact furniture, train masterful engravers etc. Also, make sure that as many dwarves as possible befriend him.

When you're fed up with your fort, pull the level so that his wonderful bedroom floods with magma.