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Which race is the least intelligent?

Dwarves
Elves

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Author Topic: Least intelligent race?  (Read 5991 times)

FearfulJesuit

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Least intelligent race?
« on: November 16, 2011, 08:38:54 pm »

So, which do you think is less intelligent? This is not the same, note. as "which do you like least."

On the Elven side, we have a...reluctance towards any sort of defense in caravans which know they'll be slaughtered, adherence to a stupid piece of tree-related dogma, and naming their top official their "princess".

On the Dwarven side, we have everything from building a wall on the wrong side, to rushing out to grab socks, to going on break at the worst possible time.

Pick your poison, gentlemen!
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Dakk

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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2011, 08:41:14 pm »

Kobolds.
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Gatleos

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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2011, 09:21:47 pm »

Obviously the elves send out their village idiots in those caravans to dwarven fortresses. It's their own brand of natural selection, in lieu of that whole "death" deal the other races have going on.

The dwarves, obviously, are far stupider... when considered on their own. But you must also bring their hive-mind into consideration. The average dwarven fortress is more like a super-being, really.
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DrKillPatient

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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2011, 09:36:37 pm »

Maybe the dwarves are geniuses, but they really like to piss you off. Using their impressive intelligence they can predict precisely when the most inconvenient time for a break is and then do so at that point. However, that leaves the natural-selection-by-corpse-looting unexplained-- unless they value irritating the overseer over their own life.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2011, 09:55:57 pm by DrKillPatient »
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612DwarfAvenue

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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2011, 09:39:57 pm »

Dwarves may be idiots, but Elves are even bigger idiots for thinking they can negotiate tree-chopping quotas with the Dwarves.
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NRDL

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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2011, 09:44:32 pm »

I just thought of a challenge:

Find a dwarf with great problem solving, logic, thinking or whatever it is in the attribute screen.  Train him or her into a legendary engineer, then have your techno dwarf create ALL the mechanical stuff in your fortress, eventually completely automating it.  Imagine, a completely technocratic fortress. 
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Urist McDagger

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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2011, 11:03:15 pm »

Elves. At least the dwarves have the sense not to fight with toys.
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King DZA

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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2011, 11:17:49 pm »

Elves. At least the dwarves have the sense not to fight with toys.

Give 'em some adamant warhammers and they will still charge into battle like there's no tomorrow. Which is good, because for them, there won't be.

It's not the they have the sense not to, it's that you don't provide the necessary toys for them to do it.

Starver

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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2011, 11:22:03 pm »

When I first saw the subject title, I immediately thought "It aint the humans, they're building towns and cities and stuff".  On that principle, the fact that dwarves are building fortresses (albeit through the direction of a super-consciousness) puts them above Elves in the intelligence stakes.  (Perhaps unfairly, because they never[1] get the chance to be so guided.)

OTOH, I could paraphrase Douglas Adams, w.r.t. the thoughts of the Dolphins in very much the same assessment of intelligence in more Earthly matters.  So maybe it's Elves>Dwarves>Humans.

For now, and ignoring the whole "war" thing, I'd say that Kobolds are more so than Elves, whichever way, whereas Goblins sit between Humans and Dwarves.  But that might depend upon Demons.  Lost[2] Civilisations in the caverns may be between Elves and Kobolds.

In conclusion....  Idunno.

[1] Never?  Well, very much overwhelmingly, modders aside.
[2] To us, who have to discover them.  I think they know where they are.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2011, 11:22:54 pm »

The animal-men in the caverns.
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NonconsensualSurgery

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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2011, 11:49:15 pm »

Forgive the dwarves. Their mothers always drink while pregnant. Strange moods are caused by the damaged and repressed parts of their brains reactivating, revealing some of their real potential.

Truth is, even after momma lifted a lead wine barrel over her head and chugged it while pregnant and then went to wrestling practice downwind of a copper smelter, dwarves are still smarter than you. Maybe your average dwarf is not as emotionally well balanced as the average human, but hey, these guys can build a still out of anything and make retractable bridges by instinct.

Elves... it's not clear what their problem is. As far as I know they don't drink much, but I know they try to make every weapon of war out of wood and then throw nervous fits over someone trying to sell their own wood back to them. They also eat the dead. At a guess, they all have some kind of crippling genetic issue that makes most of them as neurotic as an overbred dog.
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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #11 on: November 17, 2011, 12:06:25 am »

Dwarves are clearly just about the stupidest creatures in existence.  The entire point of DF is trying to protect your dwarves from themselves.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #12 on: November 17, 2011, 12:10:32 am »

But then that extends to whatever race you choose to play as.
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micelus

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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2011, 12:28:24 am »

Gnomes and Gremlins. At least Kobolds are smart enough to gather into groups and steal weaponry.
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Re: Least intelligent race?
« Reply #14 on: November 17, 2011, 12:33:37 am »

Gnomes and Gremlins. At least Kobolds are smart enough to gather into groups and steal weaponry.

But not food or drink...
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