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[zehive]

A couple of elven merchants came into my fort, with intent to trade. I was curious what they had, so I let them through. I had old crafts in the depot, so I marked them for trade and sent my trader into the depot.

What I saw was a lot of useful things. Mountains of booze and food. Logs to last a lifetime.

And this is where the really bad part is, I considered trading with them.

I was so close to seriously trading, and then my dwarven instinct overcame me. I knew what needed to be done, to right this almost wrong. The magma pumps haven't been set up, so not that. Instead, I activated my new wrestler squad and...



In a split second the wrestlers held down and then punched the elves through their conceited stupid elven skulls, shattering their probably wooden brains. I then tossed the corpses down into the caverns. Close call averted.

Anyone else ever almost trade with the elves, then realize their grave mistake?

[Couchmonster]

I just press claim everything "We have nothing to stop you"
And they are so right

You have to humiliate them before they die!

[King DZA]

Actually, I do trade with the elves. Regularly. With fair profit gain on their part.

I am unbound by petty cultural differences. If someone is willing to take all my stockpile clogging crap in exchange for stuff I actually want/need, I sure as hell ain't gonna stop 'em.

[Wannazzaki]

Yeah i offload my junk to the elves for stuff like cheese, cloth and thread and such that i LIKE having. After i gain capital status and become self sufficient i will try and piss off ALL civs, elves or otherwise for more things for my military to butcher. Having 20 legendary dwarves and every piece of their uniform a named semi-artifact through a bloodsoaked history makes me a very very pleased sexual harassment panda

[zehive]

Actually, I do trade with the elves. Regularly. With fair profit gain on their part.

I am unbound by petty cultural differences. If someone is willing to take all my stockpile clogging crap in exchange for stuff I actually want/need, I sure as hell ain't gonna stop 'em.

yeah but dead elves.

[King DZA]

Actually, I do trade with the elves. Regularly. With fair profit gain on their part.

I am unbound by petty cultural differences. If someone is willing to take all my stockpile clogging crap in exchange for stuff I actually want/need, I sure as hell ain't gonna stop 'em.

yeah but dead elves.

Dead elves what? That's just more corpses for me to deal with, and goblin sieges provide me with plenty of those already. Not to mention killing them also means I get stuck with all of their wooden crap that I didn't want, plus the goblin crap I would have traded them.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Yeah, I trade with Elves all the time, What's the point in fighting a civ that uses wooden weapons and armour, it's far more fun to piss off civs that can actually fight back.

[612DwarfAvenue]

I use the Elves as training dummies, so my militias will be ready when a real challenge comes along.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Wimp.
Where's the training if there's no risk of death.

[Wannazzaki]

Wimp.
Where's the training if there's no risk of death.

Somewhere in between personal amusement and not charging face first into a goblin bowman siege and being horribly perforated because no one bothered to train dodging.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

So self preservation is dwarfy now? I suppose I should go tell Shorast that swimming in magma to get a sock isn't a good idea then.

[JJtoocool]

So self preservation is dwarfy now? I suppose I should go tell Shorast that swimming in magma to get a sock isn't a good idea then.

It... isn't?

 

[DisgruntledPeasant]

Y'see, I always plan on curing them of the elvishness with liberal application of dwarven medicine*,  but they keep on bringing me things like giant eagles that i can train for my army,  and as much as a dwarf should destroy elves beneath his iron boot I just cant say no to an army of giant eagles and scorpions...

*magma

[Drago55577]

elves are for dumping all your usless stuff on them, and when you have a good way to get rid of that useless stuff, dump magma on them.

[Urist Imiknorris]

But the elves are a good way to get rid of that useless stuff. They actually want to take away your garbage. So do the humans and dwarves, but why limit yourself to two garbage disposers per year if you can have three?