Sweet hopping Christ this is a big turn!
"...That's it sir, they're nearing the control room. There's some kind of jamming device in there, I don't think we can talk to them anymore.""What's going on down there?""I have no idea, sir."Turn 48 - Baddest of the BigsThe sound of rushing water can be heard above, and a deep rumbling below. The floating citadel is beginning to lose power!Repair Three head.
Fleshton: Scavenge the armor for additional protection.
"Quick, Fleshton, scavenge the armor! Possibly right from the source!"(...) Without much effort at all, you piece THN back together! He's as good as new.
(...) Meanwhile, Fleshton follows your command and steals the blinded armor's cuirass. The armor continues to squirm on the ground, making an obnoxious clanging and scraping sound.
Suddenly remember that Fakod is wounded and carefully bandage his wounds before he can remind me. Then use any remaining time to go back to where the janitor is and bring him back here, while attempting to convert him to the faith of Lumithos.
(...) You hurry over to Fekod as he opens his mouth to call for you, and point threateningly at him. He closes his mouth wordlessly. You manage to bandage his chest, clean the wound and stop the bleeding. After a moment you remember that janitor guy that was following you around, and head back to the trophy room where you find him huddled in the corner.
<German>
"Oi! Come on, we're going ahead!""Okay, let's go!""Oh, by the way, you're now a follower of Lumithos.""Okay, whatever, just don't hurt me!"</German>
Ostal 2 follows along behind you.
Yell at Zack for face healing. Make an improvised explosive out of the Tabasco sauce and any other substance in the area that could be considered volatile. Mix it in the useless golden cup.
(...) There really isn't anything volatile around here other than the tabasco sauce, so you just dump it into the chalice. The chalice immediately starts to melt when exposed to the ridiculously corrosive sauce! Thinking fast, you dunk the rubies into the chalice, causing it to turn into pure ruby! You now have a chalice full of highly corrosive tabasco sauce, topped with three ruby ice cubes. You shall call it the
RASPUTIN SPECIAL.
Practice the art of shuddering to dispel evil.
(...) You shimmy and shake, eventually getting yourself in the correct rhythm and motion for shuddering. You feel completely cleansed of any residual evil left behind by your recent escapades, and probably maybe kind of have the ability to use shuddering as a suitable replacement for brain bleach.
Equip helmet (stupid but eh). Try to patch up Fekod's arm with bandages.
"Yes, tyrants can be so predictable sometimes...I'm keeping this helmet by the way..."(...) Presumably due to the vision-restricting helmet, you immediately fall on your face on your way to Fekod.
Bowie walks to the end of the hallway and waves his arm in front of him, activating several dart traps.
"Okay, who's ready to take down Hitler?!"Everyone just kind of shrugs like "okay with me". The group heads off down the hall to meet Bowie, and he steps forward and kicks open the double doors! A light seems to flood outward from the room as the glittering sanctum comes into view, a room somehow even more lavishly decorated than the rest of the floating fortress. Gold and jewels cover every surface, and a gilded, silken carpet runs the length of it, halting below a frankly ridiculous throne. A looming figure rises from the throne, dwarfing every other creature in the room. Especially the dwarves.
It is a massive mech suit, at least 15 feet tall, its arms ending in sharp metal claws. Atop the suit's shoulders rests a jar, containing the head of Adolf Hitler.
"Welcome to my fortress. You seem to have already made yourself at home.""Stop right there, Hitler! We're here to-""AAAAGGGH, not this again! Listen, Timelord, several of your friends have already found us here, and they are all dead. Your time devices are all currently jammed, and the defense systems will make short work of you on my command.""Did all of them manage to completely destroy your fortress...?""Of course not! I will admit, this was quite the unlucky turn of events. A Timelord and temporal strike team, presumably sent by separate organizations, attacking at once. But it is no loss. This facility may look unique, but it is one of many. I'm a bit surprised you got past the lower defenses, none ever have.""...You mean the speedo clones?""...WHAT?!? How did you get into- that was supposed to be locked- Mein Pleasure Hitlers...""Cuz that almost got us killed. We had to destroy that bust to dispel the illusion. Pretty clever trap.""You destroyed the bust?! That was a priceless-"Hitler suddenly goes pale, and his eyes dart to the door. A rhythmic rumbling can be felt, getting steadily closer... then, suddenly, the doors are kicked off their hinges and fly across the room! A golden suit of armor marches through the doorway, a cape of purple flame flowing behind it. The sundered bust from the bathhouse sits on top of the armor, animated by the same dark energy holding it together. A large
floppy hat, also made of purple flame, rests on its head. The bust's jaw slides back and forth as if loosening itself, then speaks in a voice Hilda recognizes as the one she heard before in her mind.
"Hello Adolf."Hitler looks absolutely terrified.
"Marcus?! I thought you... were...""Destroyed? HAHAHAHAHAHA, as I suspected. You took the bait. You could never resist looting your conquests Adolf, and it seems you managed to find the Horcrux I left for you. It's been feeding off the life-force of everyone in this facility for years! The plan went off without a hitch! Thank you for the resurrection though. And now, without further ado, I think it's time you dropped dead. This facility doesn't have long to exist, and I have places to be."Marcus produces a long cane from a nearby pocket dimension, pulling it apart to reveal a sword within. Completely ignoring the others, Hitler and Marcus charge at each other! The two opponents dance about the throne room, Hitler's metallic claws and Marcus's curved rapier clashing off each other and scattering sparks across the chamber!
"Uh... Bowie? What the hell is that thing?""I think it's... Marcus Aurelius. An inter-dimensional tyrant, supposedly descended from the Elder Gods themselves. That's about all we know man, other than his other title: The Exalted Pimperor. We learned about him back at the academy. Apparently that bust we destroyed back there had his soul trapped in it. Our bad, I guess.""Do you know what they're fighting about?""No idea."Hitler catches Marcus's sword mid-strike, struggling to hold it in place. He glances over at the party, and raises his other arm into the air.
"Defense systems activate! DESTROY THOSE INTRUDERS!!"He then goes back to fighting Marcus.
Emergency blast doors slam over the exits to the throne room. A large iris door in the ceiling of the throne room slides open, and steam rushes out of the chamber beyond! Compartments in the walls and ceiling slide open revealing inlaid tracks, and small turrets glide out of the ceiling hole onto them. The turrets begin orbiting the room as a final, much larger shape emerges from the hole, a mass of cables and metal rods. It unfolds itself dramatically, a plethora of metal limbs tipped with saws and laser weaponry extending from its base. A single large red eye lights up at the base of the hanging sentry droid with an ominous hum, and it focuses on the party."INTRUDERS LOCATED. ACTIVATING WEAPONS GRID."The defense robot in charge of defending Hitler's throne room. Ludicrously dangerous.
Unharmed
A set of turrets equipped with flamethrowers, circling the edge of the room. Not very accurate.
Unharmed
The Führer of Nazi Germany, who has apparently been doing quite a bit of time travel. His body is nowhere to be found, and his head is in control of a massive mech suit.
Unharmed
The Exalted Pimperor himself, having taken up residence in a golden suit of armor. His form is incorporeal for now, but he still has a ridiculous amount of strength.
Unharmed
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD
(Agent Rouge)BioLocation: Level 6 Throne Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench |
Sexy Catsuit | Radio |
Pain-Poms |
Walther Pistol |
BandageWounds: [HP:100/100]Skills: Misc. Object Usage |
Competent Masseuse |
Noodle Limbs |
One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White
(Agent Pearl)BioLocation: Level 6 Throne Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs |
Nazi Uniform |
Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x3 | Golden Sword
Wounds: [HP:100/100]Skills: Speed Reader |
First Aid |
Light of Lumithos |
Incandescent Orb |
Salve of Lumithos |
Gauze of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm
(Agent Fuchsia)BioLocation: Level 6 Throne Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak |
Tome of Eldritch Lore |
Ritual Dagger |
Bottle of Wine |
Bandages x5Wounds: [HP:84/100] |
Missing Tooth x5Skills: Necromancy (
Level 2) |
Raise Minion |
Morph Undead |
Soul Trap
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator"
(Agent Pewter)BioLocation: Level 6 Throne Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce |
Empty Bottle |
Bandages x4 | Spiky Rock |
Useless Ruby CupWounds: [HP:65/100] Missing Left Eye |
Missing Left Arm |
Heavy Bleeding (Face)Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal
(Agent Heliotrope)BioLocation: Level 6 Throne Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava |
Cloak | Grappling Hook |
Bandages x2 |
Heavy Machine Gun |
Glass Shard | Brass Helmet
Wounds: [HP:100/100]Skills: Master Thief
Name: The Artist Formerly Known as Uni-Skeleton
DescriptionInventory: Origami Bonewalker | Golden Cuirass
Wounds: UndeadSkills: N/A
Name: ?
DescriptionInventory: Nazi Uniform
Wounds: UndeadSkills: N/A
Name: ?
DescriptionInventory: Mop | Rag |
JumpsuitWounds: N/A
Skills: N/A
Author
Topic: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco (Read 56778 times)