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Author Topic: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco  (Read 56577 times)

BullDog

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #285 on: April 02, 2012, 09:13:56 am »

Check for some kind of weapon, then follow the others out of the trophy room. If I didn't find a weapon before, check again in this corridor. Maybe those suits of armor have something?
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Gatleos

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #286 on: April 03, 2012, 02:56:04 pm »

The more you think about this situation and where these guys came from, the more horrifying it becomes.

Turn 45 - Gaze of Aurelius
FLEE. Cover eyes and FLEE.
"Come on James, we gotta get out of here! Cover your eyes, man, cover your eyes! BOWIE! Where are you man! We need you!"
(...) You run screaming from the bathhouse of horrors, clutching your eyes, and manage to put a good bit of distance between you and the harem!
SHOOT THE HITLERS. SHOOT. KILL. APPLY BRAIN BLEACH.
"AAAHHAHGGHH!"
(...) In a bleary-eyed frenzy, you fire off a bunch of rounds at the Hitlers! The few shots that actually hit simply phase directly through them, doing no damage! Huh. Apparently they're a virtual Hitler harem. That somehow makes the concept even worse.
Screams! That must mean battle! Charge to where they emanate and wildly fire necrotizing energy everywhere!
(...) You sprint off to the source of the screaming and dive into the bathhouse, only to find nothing but two panicking squadmates screaming about nothing. At that point your eyes lock with those of the statue at the end of the room. Suddenly, a horde of Hitlers appear all around you! You swing ineffectually at them, your punches simply phasing straight through. You have a feeling that anything harder than a gentle caress will do the same. Or perhaps a pelvic thrust. Yes, a pelvic thrust seems about right.
Charge to the location of the screaming and unleash hell on the unknown enemy in the form of pointy gemstones.
(...) Like your comrades, you foolishly rush into the bathhouse and prepare your weapon.
"TIME TA KICK SOME ASS!"
"No, Fekod! Your weapon won't work! Get out while you still can!"
Your eyes glance over the statue, and the Hitlers suddenly appear before you! You are powerless against them. Suddenly, Bowie comes through the door into the now-pretty-crowded bathhouse entrance.
"What the hell is- OH GOD"
Check for some kind of weapon, then follow the others out of the trophy room. If I didn't find a weapon before, check again in this corridor. Maybe those suits of armor have something?
(...) You can't find a suitable weapon in the trophy room, so you rush out and down the hallway! The suits of armor are indeed holding weapons; one is holding a greataxe, and the other is holding a sword. You grab the sword and charge back to the bathhouse with it held over your head! On the way you pass by Hilda, who is running the other way. You rush into the bathhouse to find the entire party screaming and thrashing about, but you're not sure why. You can't really see past them all to whatever is causing the ruckus.

Hilda leans against the wall of the wide hallway, panting and shaking her head. A sound catches her attention, and she peeks around a pillar to her left. The two suits of golden armor, per the laws of narrative inevitability, have come to life and are advancing down the hall with death in their minds!

Status

Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Boss Corridor, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms | Walther Pistol | Bandage
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | Competent Masseuse | Noodle Limbs | One-Two Punch

Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Bathhouse, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | Nazi Uniform | Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x4 | Golden Sword
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Speed Reader | First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos | Gauze of Lumithos

Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Bathhouse, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Bottle of Wine | Bandages x5
Wounds: [HP:72/100] | Missing Tooth x5
Skills: Necromancy (Level 2) | Raise Minion | Morph Undead | Soul Trap

Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Bathhouse, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x4 | Spiky Rocks x2 | Small Gems x3 | Useless Cup
Wounds: [HP:75/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Heavy Bleeding (Face)
Skills: Explosives Expert

Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Bathhouse, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages x2 | Heavy Machine Gun | Glass Shard
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Master Thief

Spoiler: Fleshton (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Three-Headed Nazi (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Nazi Janitor (click to show/hide)
Logged
Think of it like Sim City, except with rival mayors that seek to destroy your citizens by arming legions of homeless people and sending them to attack you.
Quote from: Moonshadow101
it would be funny to see babies spontaneously combust
Gat HQ (Sigtext)
++U+U++ // ,.,.@UUUUUUUU

lawastooshort

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #287 on: April 03, 2012, 03:26:48 pm »

Rush back into the bath room with eyes tightly shut and hands outstretched. Run to the statue of Marcus Aurelius and COMPETENTLY MASSAGE it so he knows that we are friends, thereby turning the holographic hallucination Hitlers against the suits of armour!
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Sinpwn

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #288 on: April 03, 2012, 03:37:35 pm »

Fekod begins to panic, but his eye glances back over the statue at the other end of the room. He knows what he must do.
Run screaming out of the bathhouse and try to forget about that place through wanton destruction of nazi property.
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Dermonster

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #289 on: April 03, 2012, 03:54:10 pm »

"FLESHTON! HELP! DESTROY THE STATUE THING! Oh god they're all flapping about."
Logged
I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

BullDog

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #290 on: April 03, 2012, 06:20:25 pm »

Whatever is past my allies must be horrifying, with all that screaming! Therefore, close my eyes, then rush past my allies, to the other end of the room and kill, or destroy, whoever or whatever is there! With my eyes closed the whole time!
Logged

micelus

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #291 on: April 03, 2012, 08:09:31 pm »

Screaming incoherent phrases of utter fear and revulsion, Ostal blindly runs out of the room, thrusting out his glass shard at any hitler that comes close.
Logged
Do you hear that, Endra? NONE CAN STAND AGAINST THE POWER OF THE DENTAL, AHAHAHAHA!!!
You win Nakeen
Marduk is my waifu
Inanna is my husbando

Gatleos

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #292 on: April 10, 2012, 08:44:19 pm »

So Roman emperors made horcruxes, apparently.

Turn 46 - Form of Aurelius
Rush back into the bath room with eyes tightly shut and hands outstretched. Run to the statue of Marcus Aurelius and COMPETENTLY MASSAGE it so he knows that we are friends, thereby turning the holographic hallucination Hitlers against the suits of armour!
(...) Launching forward with a handspring, you cartwheel through the bathhouse and grab the statue! Your massaging pleases Aurelius, and the Hitlers step off from your companions and head outside the bath house!
Fekod begins to panic, but his eye glances back over the statue at the other end of the room. He knows what he must do.
Run screaming out of the bathhouse and try to forget about that place through wanton destruction of nazi property.
You stumble out of the wicked bathhouse clutching at your eyes, and fire a sharp rock blindly from your arm cannon! (ATT) (DEF) The axe-wielding suit of armor dodges to the side as the sharp rock sails past!
OH GOD
"FLESHTON! HELP! DESTROY THE-"
(...) The Hitler Harem tramples over you on their way out of the room! You continue to rock back and forth in the fetal position.
Whatever is past my allies must be horrifying, with all that screaming! Therefore, close my eyes, then rush past my allies, to the other end of the room and kill, or destroy, whoever or whatever is there! With my eyes closed the whole time!
(...) Thrusting yourself into the air with a mighty pelvic thrust, you fly across the room and cleave the statue in twain with your sword! The two halves of the bust crack and smoke, and a dark presence emerges from the statue. The Hitler Harem disappears and the bathhouse darkens as the smoky entity floats along the ceiling of the bathhouse.
Screaming incoherent phrases of utter fear and revulsion, Ostal blindly runs out of the room, thrusting out his glass shard at any hitler that comes close.
(...) You thrash your way out of the bathhouse screaming and clutching at the air, and land face-down in the middle of the hallway outside.


The unarmed suit of armor charges at (AIM) Fekod and brings its fist down on him! (ATT) (DEF) Fekod backflips, avoiding the metal punch while he loads more ammunition into his arm cannon! The other suit of armor, armed with an axe, charges at (AIM) Fekod as well! (ATT) (DEF) The suit of armor stumbles and falls on its face, the golden battleaxe clattering to the floor! Fekod just stands there and shakes his head.

Bowie flies into the room and fires off several shots from his arm-mounted laz0r pistol! (ATT) (DEF) The suit of armor picks up its battleaxe and rolls to the side, and the laz0rs simply burn a hole in the rug.

Spoiler: Animate Armor (click to show/hide)

Status

Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Bathhouse, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms | Walther Pistol | Bandage
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | Competent Masseuse | Noodle Limbs | One-Two Punch

Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Bathhouse, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | Nazi Uniform | Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x4 | Golden Sword
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Speed Reader | First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos | Gauze of Lumithos

Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Bathhouse, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Bottle of Wine | Bandages x5
Wounds: [HP:76/100] | Missing Tooth x5
Skills: Necromancy (Level 2) | Raise Minion | Morph Undead | Soul Trap

Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Boss Corridor, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x4 | Spiky Rock | Small Gems x3 | Useless Cup
Wounds: [HP:70/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Heavy Bleeding (Face)
Skills: Explosives Expert

Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Boss Corridor, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages x2 | Heavy Machine Gun | Glass Shard
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Master Thief

Spoiler: Fleshton (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Three-Headed Nazi (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Nazi Janitor (click to show/hide)
Logged
Think of it like Sim City, except with rival mayors that seek to destroy your citizens by arming legions of homeless people and sending them to attack you.
Quote from: Moonshadow101
it would be funny to see babies spontaneously combust
Gat HQ (Sigtext)
++U+U++ // ,.,.@UUUUUUUU

Sinpwn

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #293 on: April 10, 2012, 09:22:22 pm »

Throw the cup at the armor with the axe so they switch elements. Fekod shall not settle for a useless cup. He demands a useless golden cup.
Logged

Dermonster

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #294 on: April 10, 2012, 09:28:59 pm »

Decimate some golden ass!

Zombies: Quickly, use your flesh meats to attack the metallic suits of armor!
Logged
I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

lawastooshort

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #295 on: April 11, 2012, 03:39:10 pm »

Dash out of the bathroom and competently massage the axe wielding suit of armour so that it relaxes terribly hard and becomes non-aggressive!
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BullDog

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #296 on: April 11, 2012, 08:30:20 pm »

Run from the bathhouse and upon seeing the mobile suits of armor, try to convince the unarmed one to turn against the nazis with an inspiring speech. On the 100%80% 50% chance the armor doesn't respond or tries to attack me, lop off it's head helmet.
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micelus

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #297 on: April 13, 2012, 03:53:44 pm »

Seeing the armoured suits, Ostal will try to carefully sneak up on the unarmed one while its being distracted by actions of other teammates. Try to remove its helmet.
Logged
Do you hear that, Endra? NONE CAN STAND AGAINST THE POWER OF THE DENTAL, AHAHAHAHA!!!
You win Nakeen
Marduk is my waifu
Inanna is my husbando

Gatleos

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #298 on: April 21, 2012, 04:49:35 pm »

As of the end of this turn, you are all in the clear and just outside THE THRONE ROOM. Once you have all decided to go in we'll proceed to the next turn, but until then I'll individually roll for anything you want to do to prepare.

Turn 47 - Penultimate Struggle
Throw the cup at the armor with the axe so they switch elements. Fekod shall not settle for a useless cup. He demands a useless golden cup.
(ATT) (DEF) You toss the COMPLETELY USELESS CUP at the suit of armor, bonking it on the head! The armor stumbles, and the cup turns to pure gold! Huh. I was just joking about that. *shuffles through papers* Okay, apparently it does do that. The armor's helmet turns to dull brass!
Decimate some golden ass!

Zombies: Quickly, use your flesh meats to attack the metallic suits of armor!

You and Fleshton jump on the axe-wielding armor while the Three-Headed Nazi goes after the other! (ATT) (ATT) (DEF) (DEF) The axe-wielding armor handily dodges both attacks, hopping back and swinging its battleaxe in a vicious arc! (ATT) (DEF) (DEF) You are able to tuck and roll lazily under the axe blade, and Fleshton uses the axe as a springboard to a flying toe kick! (ATT) (DEF) The kick tears through the axe-wielding armor's torso, flinging it down the hall! The legs fall uselessly to the ground.

Meanwhile, the Three-Headed Nazi launches itself at the other suit of armor! (ATT) (DEF) The armor easily sidesteps TTN's flying attack, grabbing it out of midair! (ATT) (DEF) The armor snaps TTN in half like a twig and tosses it to the ground.
Dash out of the bathroom and competently massage the axe wielding suit of armour so that it relaxes terribly hard and becomes non-aggressive!
(...) You cartwheel effortlessly out of the bathhouse and down the hall, arriving at the torso of the shattered suit of armor. You then begin to massage it for some reason, possibly out of shock from the events of the past few minutes. It is the most incredible massage ever, wasted on a chunk of gold and brass. Suddenly, you feel a dark presence slither momentarily through your mind, depositing a telepathic message.
"Excellent. You have prepared a vessel for my power. For this you shall be my chief courtesan."
The helmet and cuirass of the armor drop from your hands, and it begins sliding across the floor with the rest of the remains. The golden armor slides into the bathhouse, and the door shuts tightly behind it with a click.
Run from the bathhouse and upon seeing the mobile suits of armor, try to convince the unarmed one to turn against the nazis with an inspiring speech. On the 100%80% 50% chance the armor doesn't respond or tries to attack me, lop off it's head helmet.
(...) You try to reason with the armor, but it makes a series of aggressive pantomimes that you assume mean it wasn't very impressed. So instead you attack! (ATT) (DEF) The armor catches your fist with its own, holding you right where it wants you! (ATT) (DEF) The armor counters with a low punch, but you twist out of the way and wrench yourself out of its grip!
Seeing the armoured suits, Ostal will try to carefully sneak up on the unarmed one while its being distracted by actions of other teammates. Try to remove its helmet.
(...) While the suit of armor is thoroughly occupied with Zack, you sneak up behind it and remove its helmet! There doesn't appear to be anything inside. The suit of armor apparently needs this thing to see, because it starts thrashing around blindly and stumbling around the hallway!


(ATT) (DEF) Bowie levels his gun at the blinded suit of armor and sends a bolt of plasma through its arm! The suit of armor stumbles and falls to the ground.
"Now, you see, Hitler's magical armor guard guys would be a lot more formidable if he didn't use a soft metal like gold. These tyrants, man. Always form over function."

Spoiler: Animate Armor (click to show/hide)

Status

Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Boss Corridor, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms | Walther Pistol | Bandage
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | Competent Masseuse | Noodle Limbs | One-Two Punch

Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Boss Corridor, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | Nazi Uniform | Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x4 | Golden Sword
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Speed Reader | First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos | Gauze of Lumithos

Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Boss Corridor, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Bottle of Wine | Bandages x5
Wounds: [HP:80/100] | Missing Tooth x5
Skills: Necromancy (Level 2) | Raise Minion | Morph Undead | Soul Trap

Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Boss Corridor, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x4 | Spiky Rock | Small Gems x3 | Useless Golden Cup
Wounds: [HP:65/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Heavy Bleeding (Face)
Skills: Explosives Expert

Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Boss Corridor, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages x2 | Heavy Machine Gun | Glass Shard | Brass Helmet
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Master Thief

Spoiler: Fleshton (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Three-Headed Nazi (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Nazi Janitor (click to show/hide)
Logged
Think of it like Sim City, except with rival mayors that seek to destroy your citizens by arming legions of homeless people and sending them to attack you.
Quote from: Moonshadow101
it would be funny to see babies spontaneously combust
Gat HQ (Sigtext)
++U+U++ // ,.,.@UUUUUUUU

Dermonster

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Re: Endless RTD - Steampunk Nazi Fiasco
« Reply #299 on: April 21, 2012, 05:49:04 pm »

Quick, Fleshton, scavenge the armor! Possibly right from the source!

Repair Three head.
Fleshton: Scavenge the armor for additional protection.
Logged
I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.
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