Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Gatleos]

I was starting to miss you guys creating your own enemies to fight. Oh, and Derm can have two zombie pals now. Forgot to change that.

"Okay sir, the anomaly has made contact with both Ostals."
"We are so screwed when the General hears about this."
"Indeed, sir."

Turn 40 - Useless Cup

Morph the head one more time, then trap the bottle o' spirits soul in it.

"Right, start looking for a staircase! C'mere head, I got an idea."
(...) Nazi Head rolls to your side, and you remove the cork from your bottle of spirits. As the spirit of that Nazi who totally stabbed you in the chest and almost killed you floats beside Nazi Head, a grotesque appendage begins to form on NH's neck. It grows and forms into a second, malformed head, and the Nazi's spirit drifts inside. Both NH and NH2 appear to be eager to engage in slapstick antics, but sadly neither has working arms or vocal cords.

If I can reach a door, check out the room several rooms away to see if I can see Baron James. If I find him, utilise extreme cheerleading prejudice on any and all hostiles I see.

Otherwise, jump down the hole using the Flying Dove Softly Lands technique.

(...) Pushing off from the staircase, you bound over the edge of the gaping floor hole and dive forward with your arms outstretched. Your airborne body punches a hole through the cloud of rising dust, emerging from the other side and rolling into position in front of the door. You kick open the wooden door and proceed into the next room, a rather large kitchen where the ruined skiff sits in a pile of chipped tile and cooking instruments.

You cartwheel across the room to another door, cracking it open and listening. Sure enough, you hear voices beyond! (ATT) (DEF) The door flies open and you charge into the dining room, flailing your arms and screaming! You run toward a gentleman in a cape and mask and pull back a wild haymaker with your gloved hand, but he quickly ducks underneath you and scoops you into the air with both hands! He holds you above his head for a moment, then tosses you across the table!

Drop the weapon.

"OK..."
You drop your gun to the ground.
Suddenly, the door at the left end of the dining room bursts open and Hilda sprints into the room screaming! She swings at the caped fellow, but he lifts her into the air and flings her across the table! Dinnerware flies as Hilda slides across the tabletop, then goes airborne once more and slams into Ninja Hitler! The knife he was holding goes flying, and the ninja himself is knocked off of Ostal 2 and tumbles backward. He quickly recovers and leaps backward once more, throwing a smoke bomb at his feet!
"Sie haben nicht das letzte von mir gesehen! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAaaaaaa...."
The smoke clears, and Ninja Hitler appears to have disappeared. You retrieve your gun and turn to the masked figure.
"You don't happen to be named Ostal... do you?"
"Ah. No. According to my report, there are only two of you in existence in the whole multiverse. I certainly wasn't expecting to find either of them here of all places. Come Ostals, follow me. There isn't much time. You too, miss."
Hilda and Ostal 2 poke their heads over the edge of the table.
"There are... two of you. Huh."

Violently search for anything particularly useful on the way to an exit, namely any glowing items.

(...) The heavy Hitler bust ejects itself from your arm cannon, ricocheting around the room! It flies through a suit of golden armor, bending and destroying it, and bounces through a few display cases full of priceless artifacts. At last it comes to rest, rolling off of a tall shelf and crashing through the roof of a tall display case in the center of the room. It lands on the purple silk pillow in the display case, knocking a metal cup out of its spot. The cup falls out of the display case and lands on your head.

You pick it up and examine it. It seems to be a simple, well-shaped metal chalice, rusted and scuffed by years of use. A small paper tag hangs from the neck of the chalice, and reads Heilige Gral. It appears to be a useless pile of junk.

Slap the Janitor awake if he is not already.
If Derm and Fekod move to leave the room, motion to the janitor to follow, then move out.
If they don't, take the chance to read the scripture.

(...) You slap the janitor upside the head, rousing him from his sleep. He sits up and looks around, confused. You then move on to the scripture, reading a few more passages about... reverence to house guests or something. This religion is actually pretty fruity, to be honest. Nevertheless, you feel that you are nearing another breakthrough in your studies.


Fekod rises to his feet, still examining his new drink vessel, and bumps the tall display case. The Hitler bust wobbles and falls, striking Fleshton on the head! His new pulsating arm finally takes over his undead consciousness, and he leaps to his feet and goes into a wild frenzy! The arm continues to pulsate and swell, growing ever stronger!

Spoiler: Possessed Fleshton (click to show/hide)

That arm is no good!
Unharmed, by skeleton standards

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Level 5 Dining Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms | Walther Pistol | Bandage
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | Competent Masseuse | Noodle Limbs | One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | Nazi Uniform | Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x4
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Speed Reader | First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos | Gauze of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Bottle of Wine | Bandages x5
Wounds: [HP:48/100] | Missing Tooth x5 | Wounded Arm | Punctured Lung | Heavy Bleeding (Arm) | Heavy Bleeding (Chest)
Skills: Necromancy (Level 2) | Raise Minion | Morph Undead | Soul Trap
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x4 | Spiky Rocks x2 | Small Gems x3 | Completely Useless Chalice that is of No Use Whatsoever
Wounds: [HP:100/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm
Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: Level 5 Dining Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages x2 | Heavy Machine Gun
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Master Thief

Spoiler: Nazi Head (click to show/hide)

Name: Nazi Head
Description
Inventory: N/A
Wounds: N/A
Skills: N/A

Spoiler: Nazi Janitor (click to show/hide)

Name: ?
Description
Inventory: Mop | Rag | Jumpsuit
Wounds: N/A
Skills: N/A

[Dermonster]

"Oh, I'll be havin' none of that."
Trap the arms spirit in the bottle.

[BullDog]

If Derm fails to regain control of Fleshton, blast it with light of Lumithos. Try to aim at that arm if possible.
If Derm does regain control, use the time reading.

[Sinpwn]

"Least it's gold..."
Sigh, drop the cup into a storage space, then set about disabling the arm through firing the empty bottle at point blank. Look for an exit if Derm already took care of it.

[lawastooshort]

Follow the caped man with maximum acrobatics (for practice) and stealthily draw pistol.

[micelus]

Ostal shrugged. "Very well..."

Pick up the gun and follow.

[Gatleos]

Why do I take world-building so seriously in a setting this goofy?
Turn 41 - Armed and Dangerous

Trap the arms spirit in the bottle.

"Oh, I'll be havin' none of that."
(...) Due to a grievous miscalculation on your part, Fleshton's spirit is ripped from his flimsy skeleton body and begins floating around the room! You can't even catch it in the bottle. Even if you had correctly aimed, however, you would have found that the rapidly-swelling arm has no soul. A servant of darkness only retains its soul if it is raised shortly after the death of the host. Otherwise, the body is animated by pure necromantic energy. The benefit of a soul power source becomes evident when a necromorphic construct receives a command. With a soul, it can comprehend and process commands given to it, even in the absence of a brain. Those without a soul to receive verbal or written commands can only be commanded by the necromancer, or any being capable of telepathy.

This is where the science of soul transference comes into play. While not explicitly linked to necromantic magic, it is nonetheless a valuable tool to any necromancer. Necromorphic constructs which develop sentience without the presence of a soul cannot be controlled, unless explicitly given will through the necromantic energy of a specific necromancer and thus forced into his or her control. Transferring a soul that is already under a necromancer's control into the rogue necromorph will chain it to that soul, moving its undead consciousness into the soul and thus bringing it under the necromancer's command.

If Derm fails to regain control of Fleshton, blast it with light of Lumithos. Try to aim at that arm if possible.
If Derm does regain control, use the time reading.

You summon the Light of Lumithos, concentrating His light into a tangible bolt and hurling it at Fleshton's arm! (ATT) (DEF) The bolt is a little heavier than you expected light to be, and you overshoot by a great deal. Though caught unaware by your attack, the rogue arm easily dodges the bolt of light!

Sigh, drop the cup into a storage space, then set about disabling the arm through firing the empty bottle at point blank. Look for an exit if Derm already took care of it.

"Least it's gold..."
(...) After dropping the (clearly bronze) cup into your hammerspace satchel, you bound across the room and insert the empty bottle into Old Faithful! (ATT) (DEF) The bottle predictably shatters from the force of the firing mechanism, propelling glass shards from the barrel at fatal velocity! The arm, privy to the party's aggression, drops flat as the shards fly overheadhand!

Follow the caped man with maximum acrobatics (for practice) and stealthily draw pistol.

(...) Stealthily as you can while wearing boxing gloves, you draw the pistol and begin cartwheeling after the caped man. He walks through the kitchen and opens the door to the former study and looks down.

Pick up the gun and follow.

"Very well..."
(...) Motioning for Ostal 2 to follow, you head off after the caped man and Hilda.
"So, are you going to tell us who you are, mystery man?"
"I'd rather address you all at once."
"You mean the others?"
"Yes, the others. According to my scanner, they're all in here."
The caped man kicks open the door at the far end of the kitchen, which opens out onto a massive hole that appears to have once been a study. Without warning, he grabs you and Hilda and jumps down the hole! You all land near the center of the trophy room, and the man drops you to the floor.
"Greetings, adventurers, I come in pe- OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT"


The caped man punches a sequence of keys on his arm, causing it to morph into an arm cannon! He points the arm cannon at Fleshton and fires! (ATT) (DEF) A bolt of hot plasma flies from the gun, shredding Fleshton's arm and shattering his ribcage! He falls to the ground, but the arm is still moving! It begins crawling across the floor!

(ATT) (DEF) The arm detaches from Fleshton and launches itself at Fekod, wrapping around his torso and slamming him into the glass display case! Broken glass slices up his face, and the arm tosses him across the room! He lands in a heap, bleeding from the face.

Spoiler: Fleshton Appendage (click to show/hide)

He's armed and- oh, I already made that pun.
Shredded and burnt

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms | Walther Pistol | Bandage
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | Competent Masseuse | Noodle Limbs | One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | Nazi Uniform | Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x4
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Speed Reader | First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos | Gauze of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Bottle of Wine | Bandages x5
Wounds: [HP:52/100] | Missing Tooth x5 | Wounded Arm | Punctured Lung | Heavy Bleeding (Arm) | Heavy Bleeding (Chest)
Skills: Necromancy (Level 2) | Raise Minion | Morph Undead | Soul Trap
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x4 | Spiky Rocks x2 | Small Gems x3 | Useless Chalice
Wounds: [HP:95/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Heavy Bleeding (Face)
Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages x2 | Heavy Machine Gun
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Master Thief

Spoiler: Fleshton (click to show/hide)

Name: The Artist Formerly Known as Uni-Skeleton
Description
Inventory: Origami Bonewalker
Wounds: Undead | Missing Soul | Shattered Ribcage
Skills: N/A

Spoiler: Nazi Head (click to show/hide)

Name: Nazi Head
Description
Inventory: N/A
Wounds: N/A
Skills: N/A

Spoiler: Nazi Janitor (click to show/hide)

Name: ?
Description
Inventory: Mop | Rag | Jumpsuit
Wounds: N/A
Skills: N/A

[Dermonster]

"Oh what the Fg't!lrei, Fleshton, get back in thar!"

Undo the thing I did.

[Sinpwn]

Pick shards of glass out of face and throw the chalice at the arm in hopes that it will somehow turn gold.

[BullDog]

Blast the arm again! This time with less missing!

[lawastooshort]

Try to encourage the lads with some good hard cheerleading.

"Gosh guys! Take down that arm!"

[micelus]

Carefully grab a large glass shard for later use, and fire a few shots at the arm with the gun!

[Gatleos]

Writing tip #2587: Plot exposition should raise at least twice as many questions as it answers, at all times.

Also, don't forget that talking is a free action in most situations. It doesn't even have to be part of the turn.
Turn 42 - Life, the Universe, and Time Shenanigans

Undo the thing I did.

"Oh what the Fg't!lrei, Fleshton, get back in thar!"
(...) Fleshton's soul blows a raspberry at you and continues to float around while his possessed arm attempts to kill you. Man, this has been a weird day.

Pick shards of glass out of face and throw the chalice at the arm in hopes that it will somehow turn gold.

Using an impressive series of logical leaps that would make a lesser man's head explode, you come to the conclusion that contact between undead matter and bronze is capable of transmutation of the bronze into gold. (ATT) (DEF) But the grail sails straight over the arm, so you're not likely to find out now. You instead occupy yourself with picking shards of glass from your face.

Blast the arm again! This time with less missing!

(ATT) (DEF) A bolt of pure light shoots from your hands once again, this time striking the arm directly and thoroughly compromising its structural integrity. The arm wavers and stumbles around, barely mobile.

Try to encourage the lads with some good hard cheerleading.

"Gosh guys! Take down that arm!"
(...) You begin your cheerleading routine, but quickly notice that Derm is staring at you and licking his lips again. Your cheerleading spirit crushed, you back away from Derm slowly.

Carefully grab a large glass shard for later use, and fire a few shots at the arm with the gun!

(ATT) (DEF) After yanking a large glass shard from Fekod's face, you approach the arm and fire a few rounds into it! At last it stops moving and slumps to the floor, smoldering and twitching.

"Right. Uh... Where was I...?"
The caped man removes his mask-helmet, REVEALING...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Hey, man. Sorry about the harsh tone earlier."
He points at Hilda with a gloved hand.
"Who... are you?"
"The Magnificent, Magnanimous Timelord Bowie, at your service."
He bows with a flourish, walks across the room, and peeks through the door.
"It looks like we're gettin' right up on Hitler's HQ. You five have done well to get this far."
"So, uh... who are you?"
"So alright, here's the deal. I'm here on reconnaissance duty, checking out some really weird emanations comin' from this Time Sector. It's unexplored, you see, and we were gettin' these freaky time signatures like someone was performing primitive matter transplants between universes. I figured there might be some Nazi-related situations going down. So that's why I'm here, man."
"Everything you say just raises more questions!"
"I was just havin' a look around is all, to see if there was any foul play, like a new time-policing organization or a Nazi outbreak. Well, looks like I was right about the Nazis, eh? Are you five- er, six, working for anybody?"
"Nah, we're commandos. Straight from the training hall o' the anti-Nazi resistance. I dinn'ae know about any o' this time nonsense ye speak of."
"Well, I'm afraid this guy over here-"
Bowie points at Ostal 2.
"-says otherwise. He's from another universe, or more like, he's the only guy here from this universe, you hear me? Looks like at some point someone voiped all you guys over here from another timeline. Someone's been puttin' one over on you, man. You've been hoodwinked. Bamboozled. Flimflammed."
"So what are you saying? Whoever sent us here is working with the Nazis?"
"Far from it, my hairy friend. You were sent here to drive the Nazis away it seems, but whoever brought you here hasn't told you the whole story. But we're, like, wasting time here, man. We gotta get a move on and stop Hitler! You with me?"

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms | Walther Pistol | Bandage
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | Competent Masseuse | Noodle Limbs | One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | Nazi Uniform | Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x4
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Speed Reader | First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos | Gauze of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Bottle of Wine | Bandages x5
Wounds: [HP:56/100] | Missing Tooth x5 | Punctured Lung | Heavy Bleeding (Chest)
Skills: Necromancy (Level 2) | Raise Minion | Morph Undead | Soul Trap
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x4 | Spiky Rocks x2 | Small Gems x3
Wounds: [HP:90/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Heavy Bleeding (Face)
Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages x2 | Heavy Machine Gun | Glass Shard
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Master Thief

Spoiler: Fleshton (click to show/hide)

Name: The Artist Formerly Known as Uni-Skeleton
Description
Inventory: Origami Bonewalker
Wounds: Undead | Missing Soul | Shattered Ribcage
Skills: N/A

Spoiler: Nazi Head (click to show/hide)

Name: Nazi Head
Description
Inventory: N/A
Wounds: N/A
Skills: N/A

Spoiler: Nazi Janitor (click to show/hide)

Name: ?
Description
Inventory: Mop | Rag | Jumpsuit
Wounds: N/A
Skills: N/A

[Sinpwn]

(Welp.)

Whistle a tune while picking the remaining glass out of my face and finding my cup before rejoining the others.

[BullDog]

Help Fekod pick the glass out of his face, then bandage his wounds. Follow along with everyone while reading the scripture.