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[BullDog]

Strip the dead Nazi with the least damage to his uniform and put the uniform on. Don't do that if it seems to break any of my vows though. Then tear pieces out of the uniforms of the other dead Nazis to use as bandages.

[micelus]

Go through the nearest door! Punch anyone silly behind said doors. Even if they happen to have armour or are robots.

[Sinpwn]

Learn how to pilot the skiff, then head over and pick up everyone.

[lawastooshort]

Stop groping the throttle and help Fekod learn to pilot the skiff. Gently massage my leg.

[Gatleos]

No really, I wasn't planning on the guy with blond hair and blue eyes stealing and wearing a Nazi uniform. It just happened. Oh, and Qzth'thekwel is the Simon Cowell of the Atrocity Judges^TM.
Turn 25 - Jarring Competency

Fuse Skeleton and Bone Spicorpion into some manner of horror.

(...) The Bone Spircorpion unravels into a mass of bone, slithering its way up the skeleton's side and fusing with him! At last the transformation is complete, and the skeleton becomes... Uni-Skeleton!

You are now in control of a skeleton with a unicorn horn. The judges rate your atrocity, as per Necromantic tradition.
Naz'querel: 3
Qzth'thekwel: 1
Uncle Fg'rel: 2
You got 6 experience!

Strip the dead Nazi with the least damage to his uniform and put the uniform on. Don't do that if it seems to break any of my vows though. Then tear pieces out of the uniforms of the other dead Nazis to use as bandages.

(...) You silently strip the dead Nazi (I just wrote that sentence...), then slip on his uniform and take off the tunic. The uniform is a bit harder to tear than you expected, so you tear the tunic into seven bandages for later use.

Go through the nearest door! Punch anyone silly behind said doors. Even if they happen to have armour or are robots.

You burst through the nearby door to find some kind of spider-like sentry drone crawling toward you! You charge into it and perform a diving elbow drop! (ATT) (DEF) Your elbow pierces the attack drone's armored shell and passes straight through its body, splitting it cleanly in half! It falls to the ground, sparking and arcing from its ruined circuitry. It leaves behind its mounted, belt-fed weapon, which seems to have its firing mechanism still intact...

Learn how to pilot the skiff, then head over and pick up everyone.

(...) In your attempt at prying Hilda's hand from the throttle, you accidentally cause the skiff to veer right toward the wall! Before you can screw things up further, however, Hilda grabs onto the steering wheel.

Stop groping the throttle and help Fekod learn to pilot the skiff. Gently massage my leg.

(...) As the skiff rockets toward the wall, you stand up, shove Fekod out of the way and grab onto the steering wheel with one hand! With the other, meanwhile, you gently and expertly massage the charlie horse from your leg. You gain a level in Masseusemanship! Using your incredible skiff-piloting skills, you send the skiff airborne and glide sideways along the wall! The skiff barrel rolls and lands perfectly around the others.
"All aboard!"

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms | Walther Pistol | Bandage
Wounds: [HP:93/100] Broken Rib x2 | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | Competent Masseuse | One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | Nazi Uniform | Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x7
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: (Mostly) Illiterate | First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Booze Bottle | Bloody Cloth | Paper Gauze | Bandages x2
Wounds: [HP:38/100] | Missing Tooth x5 | Heavy Bleeding x2
Skills: Necromancy (Level 1) | Raise Minion | Morph Undead
Companions: Uni-Skeleton
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x4
Wounds: [HP:61/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Broken Leg | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: City Generator B, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages x2
Wounds: [HP:85/100]
Skills: Master Thief

[lawastooshort]

"So... Everyone here? This is Captain Hilda J Gherkin, PhD, speaking! Hoist the sails! Batten the hatches! Man the guns! You picked up the guns, right? Let's go! Gosh!"

Hope for a consensus to develop concerning our destination, and expertly pilot the skiff there, once everyone's on board.

Default destination if nobody suggests better: deeper into the Nazi Citadel!

[Dermonster]

To the skiff! Start on the next chapter while I'm at it.
Uni-skeleton, bring the bodies along.

[micelus]

Get the weapon. Check if the room leads anywhere. If not, close the door, ready the gun and wait for Nazis to either pass by, or come in. If they come in, fire the weapon at them.

[Sinpwn]

Continue trying to find some ammo until we leave.

[BullDog]

Get aboard and continue trying to regain literacy.

[Gatleos]

I like writing overshoots.
Turn 26 - Hooked on Temporary Insanity and/or Phonics

Hope for a consensus to develop concerning our destination, and expertly pilot the skiff there, once everyone's on board.

"So... Everyone here? This is Captain Hilda J Gherkin, PhD, speaking! Hoist the sails! Batten the hatches! Man the guns! You picked up the guns, right? Let's go! Gosh!"
(...) The skiff immediately shoots off across the room on a collision course with the busted catwalk as you accidentally lean on the throttle!

To the skiff! Start on the next chapter while I'm at it.
Uni-skeleton, bring the bodies along.

(...) You fail entirely to grab onto the deadly death-skiff of death, falling to the ground and hitting your elbow on the stone floor. Eh, you'll be alright.
(...) Uni-Skeleton gathers the headless Nazi and eyeless kebab Nazi, then bludgeons the unconscious third Nazi to death with a rock and grabs him too.

Get the weapon. Check if the room leads anywhere. If not, close the door, ready the gun and wait for Nazis to either pass by, or come in. If they come in, fire the weapon at them.

(...) You grab the weapon from the ground, smash through the door back into the generator room, and launch yourself across the room toward the other approaching entities! The door at the other end of the room opens, revealing a Nazi guardsman and another sentry drone. Your body slams into the Nazi's, and you both go flying over the edge of the catwalk to the generator room below!

You land hard in the center of the room, struggle to your feet and look around. You can hear the sentry drone above, skittering across the catwalk toward the stairs. A loud crashing noise from the previous room alarms you, and you spin around to find the maintenance skiff, piloted by Zack, hurtling toward you at top speed! Zack is cackling madly and staring at a book in his right hand, and Hilda is screaming and clutching her head.

(DEF) Thinking quickly, you leap into the air in front of the skiff in the crane position! The action slows down and the camera pans 360 degrees around you as a dramatic orchestra sting plays. You land on the prow of the skiff!

Continue trying to find some ammo until we leave.

(...) You hop off the skiff before it takes off, then reach over to the collapsed stairway and grab the four gnarliest rocks you can find. You stow them in various pockets on your coat.

Get aboard and continue trying to regain literacy.

(...) After performing a triple-axle spin backflip-combo onto the skiff, you headbutt Hilda out of the way and crank up the skiff's speed to maximum! You then proceed to READ THE EVER-LOVING HELL OUT OF THAT BOOK while screaming and laughing like a madman! The skiff ramps over the water pumping station pit once again, heads down the sloped hallway, and proceeds into the generator room toward James!

James leaps into the air and lands on the front of the skiff, then pulls the emergency brake. The skiff grinds to a halt in the center of the generator room. Looking back, you see a Nazi guardsman sprawled out behind you, apparently knocked out due to the front of the skiff slamming into him.

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: City Generator B, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms | Walther Pistol | Bandage
Wounds: [HP:97/100] Broken Rib x2 | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | Competent Masseuse | One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: City Generator B, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | Nazi Uniform | Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x7
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Speed Reader | First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Booze Bottle | Bloody Cloth | Paper Gauze | Bandages x2
Wounds: [HP:42/100] | Missing Tooth x5 | Heavy Bleeding x2
Skills: Necromancy (Level 1) | Raise Minion | Morph Undead
Companions: Uni-Skeleton
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x4 | Spiky Rocks x4
Wounds: [HP:65/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Broken Leg | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: City Generator B, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages x2 | Heavy Machine Gun
Wounds: [HP:89/100]
Skills: Master Thief

[Sinpwn]

Follow the skiff, bash the prone Nazi over the head with Old Faithful, then jump on the back of the vehicle and have a nap.

[Theifofdreams]

I just want to say after reading this.
The sheer number of critical fails and overshots is amazing. And made me chuckle.
Also: Derm actually got an Atrocity-o-meter? That's... kind of awesome. Go for straight 10s, Derm!

[lawastooshort]

"Come on chaps, let's get out of here! We've got Nazis to sabotage!"

Hilda will wrest back control of the skiff and encourage everyone to get on board. Once they are, zoom off! Safely!

Is my radio one or two way? Does anyone know which direction to go?

[micelus]

"Your the worst driver, ever Hilda."

Take on a gunning position on the ship and carefully mount the HMG. Shoot every hostile seen!