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[BullDog]

oops

Heal Hilda's ribs as much I can while trying to convince her to not be so evil, then help Fekod relocate his arm. Then continue studying.

[Gatleos]

Most Gods are dicks, actually.
Turn 17 - Lumithos is a Dick

Raise corpse.

(...) The corpse of the deceased Nazi guardsman rises to its feet, shrieking and swiping at the air! Hilda squeaks in fear and again leaps across the room, landing in Zack's arms! The groaning zombie shambles over to you, nuzzling your shoulder with its dislocated jaw. You feel that you have reached your limit for both lesser and petty necromorphic constructs.

Attempt to relocate my arm through forcefully leaning on a wall.

(...) You smash your arm against the wall, succeeding only in causing immense pain.Your shoulder remains dislocated.

Find out how the machine works.

(...) Well, it seems to be some kind of water distribution system, one of the stations supplying the city above with water. It probably has a filtration system in there too. There's a pipe running into it, and several running out.

Perform a silent post-combat warm-down and stretch routine!

"Gosh! Well, he had it coming, the dirty old Nazi! Come get some, Nazi fiends! Give me a P! Give me an A! Give me an I! Giv - Ooh, gosh Derm, are you letting me have another go?"
(...) Zack drops you to the ground in disgust, and the pain in your ribs proves to be too much for you. Derm hugs his new zombie and gives you a dirty look.

Heal Hilda's ribs as much I can while trying to convince her to not be so evil, then help Fekod relocate his arm. Then continue studying.

(...) You read through the scripture, desperately looking for spells. Suddenly, you understand. The words... become clear. The book once again shimmers with a golden light, and you are able to read one of the passages of the book.

Salve of Lumithos
Journeymen in the temple of Lumithos may, without aid of splint nor cast, attempt to heal shattered bones with but a touch. The light shall hold that which is broken, allowing its healing to begin. Light of Lumithos be with you.

You walk over to Hilda and place your hands on her chest. She looks at you indignantly.
"Er... what are you doing?! Get your hands off my-"
She stops in mid-sentence, her chest radiating warm light as the Light of Lumithos wraps around her shattered ribs and holds them together. Hilda's ribs are treated!
"Uhh... thank you, I think?"

Doth mine eyes deceiveth me, or dost my follower breaketh his vow of celibacy?!

"...What? No, it's not like that! I was healing her ribs, she-"

I have heard enough of thy heathen excuses! I curseth thee temporarily, as a warning! Thou art struck blind! Let this be a lesson to thee disciple!

You suddenly become unaware to see anything!

"...Dick."

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms
Wounds: [HP:100/100] Broken Rib x2
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | White Robes | Scripture of Lumithos
Wounds: [HP:98/100] | Blindness (Temporary)
Skills: First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Booze Bottle | Bloody Cloth
Wounds: [HP:38/100] | Missing Tooth x5 | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Necromancy | Raise Minion | Morph Undead
Companions: Bone Spicorpion | Zombie
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x3
Wounds: [HP:38/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Dislocated Right Shoulder | Broken Leg | Heavy Bleeding x2 | Very Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: Water Pumping Station, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages
Wounds: [HP:53/100] Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Master Thief

[Dermonster]

Morph zombie. Grab both of Zacks hands, guide them over my mouth, and say "Oi, light guy, do me a favor? Stop my jaw from feeling like I just spent a weekend at Aunt Gyr'bygs, please?"

[micelus]

Head back out and carefully block the pipes with barrels and whatever I can find.

[lawastooshort]

"Er... thanks Zack. I kind of liked that. I think. You know, Fekod kind of looks in a bad way. Perhaps you should touch him up a bit? And then we should find a way to... the er... hmm..."

Stretch a bit whilst standing guard so the party can regroup a little. Then explore beyond the door.


((So are my ribs healed? Am I still by a door?))

[Sinpwn]

"Oy, any chance I could get some assistance with me limbs?
Attempt to once again pop my shoulder back into place.

[BullDog]

Heal Derm's mouth, then ask him to lead me to Fekod so I can heal him.

[Gatleos]

There should be a sitcom called "Cleric and Necromancer" about a devout follower of the divine and a dark worshiper of incomprehensible horrors sharing an apartment. It would be a smash hit.
Turn 18 - Blind Origami

Morph zombie.

"Oi, ligkt guy, du me a fathor? Stoth my jaw fwom feeling like I jist spent a weeken at Aunt Gyr'bygs, pless?"
(...) The zombified Nazi guardsman convulses violently, and two sticky tentacles erupt from his chest! The bone spider crawls onto his head and falls asleep.
Zack turns his head in your direction. "What was that sound?!"
"Nuthink, nuthink. Justh heal my moth."

Head back out and carefully block the pipes with barrels and whatever I can find.

(...) You spend several minutes trying to understand the concept of enclosed piping, eventually coming to the conclusion that your plan is profoundly stupid.

Stretch a bit whilst standing guard so the party can regroup a little. Then explore beyond the door.

(...) Realizing that you haven't been anywhere near an object that could be reasonably described as a "door" for at least 6 turns half an hour, you instead elect to explore the surrounding area. Heading around the catwalk, you see James below fiddling with some barrels. At the other end of the room, you find a gently downward-sloping hallway leading toward a much larger room full of machinery. You can hear the sound of grinding gears and steam ahead. You can't go much further, due to your (still healing) ribs.

Attempt to once again pop my shoulder back into place.

"Oy, any chance I could get some assistance with me limbs?"
(...) Screaming at the top of your lungs, you hurl yourself violently at the wall! Your arm is crushed under your weight, and your shoulder is popped back into place! You bounce off the wall, tumbling head-first over the catwalk railing and landing next to James below.

Heal Derm's mouth, then ask him to lead me to Fekod so I can heal him.

(...) You reach over to Derm, grab his book, rip an entire chapter's worth of pages from it, and (somehow) manage to fashion it into an effective bandage. You wrap up Derm's mouth.
"Derm, can you lead me to Fekod?"
"You thore up mah book! It'th ruined!"
"Oops, sorry about that. Here, take this."

You fold an origami bonewalker from the remaining paper and hand it to Derm.

"It's your favorite animal, right?"
"UUUURRRGGGGHHHHHH"

Derm shoves you over the edge of the catwalk! You fall below, landing on the hard mesh floor next to Fekod. You take this chance to heal him, placing your hand on his leg. A light surrounds the broken bone, and the bone is held in place to allow for healing.

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms
Wounds: [HP:100/100] Broken Rib x2
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Water Pumping Station, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | White Robes | Scripture of Lumithos
Wounds: [HP:100/100] | Blindness (Temporary)
Skills: First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Booze Bottle | Bloody Cloth | Paper Gauze | Origami Bonewalker
Wounds: [HP:38/100] | Missing Tooth x5 | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Necromancy | Raise Minion | Morph Undead
Companions: Bone Spicorpion | Zombie
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Water Pumping Station, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x3
Wounds: [HP:42/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Broken Leg | Heavy Bleeding x2
Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: Water Pumping Station, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages
Wounds: [HP:57/100] Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Master Thief

[micelus]

Time to get...serious.


Leave the pumps/pipes/barrels and enter the main corridor. Keep looking for a lever or some kind of long, metal pole and don't stop looking unless at risk of detection.

[lawastooshort]

"Hey, guys, have you see a door around here? I could have sworn there was a door. Or maybe it was some stairs. Gosh. My ribs hurt. I thought they'd stopped hurting, but they hadn't. Blimey. Um. Aren't we meant to be finding some kind of Steam-Nazi defeating intelligence? Guys? What are you all doing down there?"

Carefully rejoin James and Fekod and Zack and help James in his search.

[Dermonster]

Unfold the origami and read it, then re-fold it.  Move on ahead.

[Sinpwn]

Find some blades or scrap metal and attach them to Old Faithful as a bayonet/detachable flail.

[BullDog]

Meditate, and try to learn more of the scripture.

[Gatleos]

Hoo boy. Hellhound... I'm not sure your turn is ever going to come.
Turn 19 - Critical Mass of Suck

Leave the pumps/pipes/barrels and enter the main corridor. Keep looking for a lever or some kind of long, metal pole and don't stop looking unless at risk of detection.

(...) Well, it turns out you did loosen the pipes a bit; water is slowly leaking from several of them. As you turn to leave, you slip on a puddle of water, bang your head on the machine, and fall to the ground. Thankfully you don't seem to have opened a wound, but you suddenly feel very lightheaded.

Carefully rejoin James and Fekod and Zack and help James in his search.

(...) "HEY GUYS HAVE YOU SEEN A DOOR AROUND HERE I COULD HAVE SWORN THERE WAS A DOOR OR MAYBE SOME STAIRS GOSH MY RIBS HURT I THOUGHT THEY'D STOPPED-"
A klaxon siren rings in the distance, and you can hear yelling! It seems you were so loud that you accidentally attracted even more guards!

Unfold the origami and read it, then re-fold it.  Move on ahead.

(...) You fumble around with the origami craft for a few seconds, then accidentally drop it over the edge. It drifts down to the machinery room below, landing gently in Zack's pocket. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Find some blades or scrap metal and attach them to Old Faithful as a bayonet/detachable flail.

(...) You stumble across a large, sharp piece of metal laying on the mesh floor in the pumping station, and affix it to Old Faithful!

Meditate, and try to learn more of the scripture.

(...) You stare intently at the book, trying to read the passages despite the fact that you're blind. You stare at it harder... and harder... and harder... and harder... and HARDER... suddenly something snaps in your brain, and blood trickles from your ears! You are now functionally illiterate. Whatever broke in your head also scorched your eyes, and your blindness worsens!

Several armed guards begin ascending the sloped hallway from deeper in the Underworks, riding on some kind of maintenance skiff! THEY'RE ALMOST HERE HURRY


"Of all the teams we could have chosen, THIS ONE?!"
"Um, sir-"
"One simple task, that's it! Thousands of iterations, trillions of dollars sunk into this project, and this is how it ends... I can't believe-"
"Sir, there's a-"
"-this is it. The Empire is free to spread. We're done for-"
"SIR!"
"WHAT?!"
"Er, uh... you might want to see this. Look at the monitor."
"What are you talking ab- ...what is that?"
"It seems we're not alone. There's another foreign entity in the Citadel."
"But that's impossible! We've isolated this time cluster completely!"
"Whatever it is, its technology is far superior to our own. And it's making its way downward..."

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms
Wounds: [HP:100/100] Broken Rib x2
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Water Pumping Station, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | White Robes | Scripture of Lumithos | Origami Bonewalker
Wounds: [HP:100/100] | Blindness (Temporary)
Skills: Illiterate | First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Booze Bottle | Bloody Cloth | Paper Gauze
Wounds: [HP:42/100] | Missing Tooth x5 | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Necromancy | Raise Minion | Morph Undead
Companions: Bone Spicorpion | Zombie
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Water Pumping Station, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x3
Wounds: [HP:46/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Broken Leg | Heavy Bleeding x2
Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: Water Pumping Station, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages
Wounds: [HP:61/100] Minor Concussion
Skills: Master Thief

[Sinpwn]

Get to higher ground near the slope down and leap onto the skiff while it passes. Begin eviscerating guards (except the one driving) while yelling "Drive, Drive! They're gaining on us!"
Assistance in this endeavor will be appreciated.