No one forced you to donate to a game you had almost no experience with. Why did you donate anyway, since you seem to have such a low opinion of the game? When you download an alpha release of anything, the last thing you should expect is a polished, finished product. In any case, I think you will find extremely few people on these forums who share your opinion of the current state of Dwarf Fortress. Most of us consider it to be excellent how it is, though naturally there still remains loads to be done.
As has been said already, this was never intended to be a professional product. It's a pet project, and Toady never had to let anyone play it in the first place. If you don't want to play, don't play. If you're having trouble, there's the wiki and loads of newbie guides, including a set of excellent YouTube videos, that ought to solve most of your problems and answer most of your questions.
You'll find that the community here is very helpful and supportive to all your difficulties, as long as you can be polite and respectful in return. I assure you that I'm not the only one who takes offense at your quite rude-sounding criticisms. Point out problems you see, by all means, but please do it in a respectful way or you might find people less and less willing to help you.
I apologize for sounding more in-your-face than I should have. I'm just used to receiving that kind of attitude, and have come to simply expect it from most communities. I donated because the game's gotten popular for a reason, and it's because the product is good. It's not as great as a project that has been in development this long could be, but it's good, nonetheless. The coding for the nuts-and-bolts of the game is quite sound: Equipment calculations, pathing and AI, and most of the complexities of individual industry management calculations. There are bugs and errors, as are to be expected, but the major gripe is and will undoubtedly continue to be the interface.
I don't really care about the fact that the game's controls use up the entire keyboard or that the graphics are crappy ASCII art. My main concern is that it's not intuitive in the least once you get to know your way around it. The use of ±, arrow keys, and other basic menu scrolling controls I've already touched upon, but the major issues come once you enter into the stocks screen, unit menu, or Animals screen in the middle to later portions of the game. Once you've got more than 50 animals or dwarves, or anything, really, those screens quickly become extremely cumbersome, and require either another method of finding what you want entirely, or grinding through the lists, reading each and every line in order to find what you're looking for.
Before I ever played Dwarf Fortress, I watched about 4 hours of tutorial videos and read up on as much about the game as I could. I came in to DF expecting extremely crappy graphics and a control scheme that was going to be at least somewhat clunky and hard to learn. I regularly use the wiki to try and find information, but am almost always finding it lacking. Not that the wiki is useless, quite the opposite. It's a useful tool, but it's not usually the endpoint of my search for information about how to solve various issues.
I started this thread for the sole purpose of providing a central location for filling in the blanks for my and other DF players' research. I am probably one of the few players who seek to play this game and attempt to enjoy it despite its glaring flaws without simply throwing up my hands and saying "this game sucks ass!" or "this is not my game, I have absolutely no right to complain."
I appreciate replies that are in a similar critical sense as proxn_punkd. I don't like things to be sugar-coated, and I prefer to get right down to the point. It would be helpful to me, and to any new players of DF if this thread pointed out the game's problems, questions, and their solutions/workarounds without having too much "fluff." 11 pages is already kind of alot for any noob to go through, but as I continue to play the game, as well as other noobs, there will be more and more questions to be asked. I think it would be prudent to summarize our findings at regular intervals so that noobs will have easy access to important information.
So, without too much more "fluff":
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PREVIOUSLY ON NOOB GUIDE REQUESTED 1
The wiki is currently malfunctioning for some browsers, causing some links and search results to give the user a download link instead of loading up the page. I've been able to work around this by using Chrome and simply spamming the offending link with clicks until it finally loads properly.
Cl.T means "Cluttered," and will cause your workshop to produce more slowly. Other totally obscure abbreviations include the C, H, and S letters that appear on the left side of the screen periodically. These letters have to do with combat reports. More information about clutter and reports can be garnered from the wiki.
Dwarves will have trouble training if they are not given enough time to do so, as well as some other factors. Dwarves should train properly if training is done at two consecutive month intervals. Also, the "Train" order has a special Minimum parameter that will dictate the minimum number of dwarves available to train before training begins, and will need to be edited (e). This number should be decreased to an amount that is below the number of available dwarves in the squadron to allow for dwarves to eat, drink, and sleep during training months. Make sure to adjust this number following battles, as some dwarves will be in the hospital and unavailable for training.
A neat trick using the military screen is sticking every single one of your dwarves into squads and assigning them armor in order to armor up all of your civilians. For effective use of this method, the following considerations need to be addressed: Squads will, on default, be set to train year-round, so disable all orders for civilian squads. By default, supplies (u) will be set to have the members of the squad carry around food and water. It would be prudent to set civilians to stop carrying around food and water, as they will not go to your elaborately decorated meeting hall or equally elaborately decorated booze stockroom in order to consume food and drink so long as they are set to carry around food and drink in the military (m) supplies (u) menu. It is also a good idea to set a specific Civilian Armor uniform that does not use the same armor as your actual military, unless you want your civilians squads competing with your soldier squads for the best armors. It also wouldn't be that bad of an idea to equip civilians with leftover wooden and training weapons so that they have something to parry with in the very likely event that they are attacked.
Note: Whenever you pick members of a squad, the list of candidates shows EVERY single dwarf that is capable of military duty, including dwarves that are already in other squads. Excel will need to be used in order to properly organize the dwarves in the squads.
Dwarves will drink booze directly out of the container in the stockpile, and will not take the booze to a table to drink. They will ALWAYS drink directly from the container regardless of where it is.
Various graphics packs will change not only the graphic tilesets, but the way that text is displayed, as well. Common DF symbols including but not limited to ☼ or Γ may not show up properly or at all, depending on what graphics pack is used. Essentially, anyone that isn't already familiar with DF's interface (all new players) should be extremely wary about using graphics packs in order to get started.
All bridges are set to "retract" by default. This is an almost completely useless function if you intend to use the bridge as a gate for your fortress. Forgetting to set the direction the bridge draws back to will probably result in needing to have the bridge demolished and reconstructed.
When embarking for the first time ever, make ABSOLUTELY sure that the embark site has the following materials/characteristics: Clay, sand, iron, not freezing/desert. Starting out at a temperate/warm beach with clay and iron would not be a bad idea for a starter's embark. Power is also a significant consideration when embarking, as wind and/or water power will be extremely useful in helping out your dwarves.
Economy is important if you want to buy things that you don't have. The easiest industry to take up at the beginning is one that focuses on stone items, since the ground is generally full of the stuff. When actually selling to merchants, make note of the following: Elves will be offended and will not trade if ANY item you offer to them is made of wood. Ignore their hypocrisy in selling you wooden items. When selling for the first time, the money indicator will not show if your broker has no Appraisal skill. He will acquire the skill after making a trade, so trade an item, then return to the trade menu, and item values should appear. In order for the trade deal to go through, the merchant must receive enough profit. This value is generally a ratio of at least [1:1] for [profit:purchase value]. Keep this in mind when making a real trade for the first time. In other words, if you wish to purchase 1000☼ worth of goods, the value of the items that you put on the table must be at least 2000☼, thus causing the Trader Profit portion of the screen to read at least 1000☼. Traders also consider their own emotions, which fluctuate depending on how much profit they gathered and how often you offended them in making offers that they refused. Paying a whole lot more for an item than it's worth will enable the [profit:purchase value] ratio to drop below [1:1]. How much it drops, I haven't a clue.
Also about trading, you can search for items in the transfer goods to/from depot menu with the (s) key. This is the only menu in the game that allows you to do a search in this manner. You can also sort items by distance or value. Again, this is the only menu in the game that allows you to sort the things in it in such a standardized and easy manner. Sorting by value is useful for getting rid of lower level furniture and items, as higher level items tend to make your dwarves happier.
When manufacturing items, make sure that you have enough resources to handle their storage. A central stockpile is not an ideal storage situation. Ideally, have trade goods moved into a single stockpile nearby the trade depot. Finished goods can be packed into wooden bins. Wooden bins are a vital item to have in any storage warehouse. When segregating your stockpiles for trade goods, ensure that trade goods are disabled for all stockpiles except your trading stockpile. When navigating the stockpile options, e/d will enable/disable whole categories, a/b will do the same thing, except it won't block your access to the subcategories, like e/d will, p/f will enable/disable individual subcategories, and pressing Enter on any item types within the subcategories will enable/disable them. The main difficulty lies in finding which category, subcategory, and item type a particular item of interest is classified as, as they are not always obvious.
In order to have a proper water storage zone that won't cause all of your injured dwarves to die of infections, you must build a cistern that is made out of a material that is neither dirt nor is touching dirt. In order to purify water that has touched dirt or touched water that has touched dirt, a pump must be used. Other sources of water dirtying substances include raw stone, saltwater, stagnant water, already dirty water. Clean water touching these becomes dirty, so do be careful when using a cistern, as the whole cistern can become contaminated without your knowledge, since you won't know if water's dirty until a dwarf actually drinks it and has an unpleasant thought about drinking dirty water or when your medical personnel use the dirty water on a dwarf and he dies of infection.
When collecting rainwater, the water level must be at least 2 in order to not evaporate immediately if you are in a temperate/warm biome. This shouldn't be a problem if you have a river/ocean/aquifer available to you.
Burrows are an essential tool. Period. To use them, go into the Burrows menu (w) and add a new burrow (a). You will need to go into the Define this burrow menu (Enter) in order to manipulate this burrow's size and shape. Go into the Add citizens to this burrow (c) menu to add/remove dwarves from the burrow. You will require a burrow that is specified only around your depot if you want your broker to ever go to the depot if he has any tasks enabled whatsoever. After specifying the Depot as a burrow, and having your broker specified as its sole denizen, it will take some time and several spammed "Inaccessible" messages before he goes to the depot that you have specified. Remember to remove him from the burrow's citizens (c) list once you're done trading.
Alerts are a use of burrows that causes all of your civilian dwarves and some animals to suddenly stop what they're doing and move into a specified burrow or burrows. This is done through the military menu (m) under alerts (a). When selecting the type of alert and which burrows you want your dwarves to hide in fear in, ensure that your various alerts have the right burrows assigned to them. You don't want your dwarves gathering in the depot and starving when you want them to continue engaging in economic activities within your secured base during a siege. Also note that any civilian squadrons that you have assigned will need to be individually assigned burrows. Unlike civilians that have not been assigned squadrons, the civilians that you have assigned to squadrons will not do anything during an alert unless you select their squad and assign them a burrow.
This fact about farming is extremely important: CROPS WILL INSTANTANEOUSLY AND SIMULTANEOUSLY DIE AT THE END OF EACH SEASON for a particular plot if the crop for the next season is different. If the crop is set to fallow (z), then the crop will not die.
Beekeeping is currently bugged as of 0.31.25. If you have more than one beekeeper, the hive installation system as well as the individual hives will be bugged, causing your dwarves to stand around and yell into the sky and curse their god, Toady for extended periods of time. If there is ever more than one beekeeper at any given time, it may be necessary to destroy all hives, then rebuild them all once only 1 dwarf is specified as beekeeper.
Work profiles are quite useful, and having a manager isn't a bad idea. When setting work profiles, ensure that the workshops have a minimum skill level set, or else any random dwarf with zero experience will walk up to the workshop and very slowly attempt to produce product. It is useful to have a workshop with no minimum skill level set so that zero experience dwarves can train their skills, but know that these workshops will end up very slowly producing low quality goods.
Dwarf Therapist is God. DwarfEngineer used to handle the program, but hasn't updated the thing in quite a while. The last update by fans of the program was around October. The program isn't just a useful tool, it's pretty much a necessity to prevent you from going totally insane from having to find each and every dwarf, read about them, then individually assign them labors. Once you get past 50 dwarves, management of them all by the in-game menus becomes nigh impossible without either pulling out MS Excel or using Dwarf Therapist. Note that the beekeeping portion of the program is bugged, so you may need to use in-game menus to handle it. Remember to have some dwarves create a wall around you to prevent you from committing genocide when you go insane from using the in-game menus.
For a barony, note the following: Pick out a baron/baroness BEFORE you are asked to pick one. Once you're asked, you will NOT be able to go into the menus and figure out the various stats and activities of the various dwarves without Dwarf Therapist. Pick a civilian dwarf that likes things that are easy to acquire and preferably a dwarf that isn't very skillful in anything. It is also useful to have nobles have multiple noble positions in order to decrease the total number of nobles you have to maintain. Place the baron in the position of bookkeeper and mayor, as the mayor is kind of useless most of the time, and the bookkeeper isn't capable of being useful most of the time. The broker and manager can be the same person, as the broker's duties are limited to trading whenever caravans arrive and the manager needs to be free only when signing work orders. Note that periodically, THE BARON WILL RANDOMLY ASSIGN A DWARF TO MAYOR. You will need to regularly go into the nobles (n) screen and reassign your baron back to mayor. It's suggested that this be done once each game year unless you want to deal with having another noble. Also know that your mayor will meet with the outpost liaison to Conduct Meeting, but only if they're not doing anything else. Best way to do this is to assign the mayor to a burrow for the duration of the meetings. If the mayor is currently holding an item and is continuously spamming "Inaccessible" messages, you will need the mayor to drop the item he's holding.
When farming remember that you should have all the necessary mills, workshops, barrels, liquids, and other infrastructure available in order to process plants and produce seeds so that you may continue farming the particular crop. Failure to do so will result in your farmers regularly running out of seeds and eventually stopping production of the crop altogether. Also remember that cooking is the only processing that doesn't produce seeds.
Note that lye stored in water buckets is not considered lye anymore by your dwarves. Consider making extremely large quantities of lye in order to overcome your dwarves tossing lye into water buckets.
To view the contents of a particular storage container in your stockpile, use (k) and press enter when selecting the container. Use (t) when viewing containers outside of your stockpile.
When creating a depot, create it in a segregated area of your fort, away from everything else, preferably in an airlock with gates. This will enable you to safely trade with the caravan during a siege, as well as safely disposing of the caravan during the siege.
Cage traps are your best friend. Use them liberally. When capturing enemies equipped with items, dump the cages into a garbage zone (press i, select the zone, then press g to assign as a garbage dump), then reclaim the dumped cages. This will cause the cages to be retrieved, but all items inside of the cage will be removed from the creature and dumped into the garbage. The items that were dumped from the cage can them be reclaimed later.
When assigning jobs, ASSIGN THEM ONE AT A TIME. It is a bad idea to assign a particular dwarf too many jobs, as they will end up using up valuable workshop space and doing jobs that they aren't skilled at. Miners, especially, shouldn't have much more than Mining enabled.
During a siege, take note of the Siege indicator on the top left side of the screen. The siegers will eventually leave, but will not announce their departure, so you will need to watch the indicator to tell when they've left.
Did I mention that MS Excel is also your friend? Because it is. The Unit list is totally and completely unorganized in any real, meaningful manner. Despite this, there is an arcane algorithm that determines a standardized order to sort dwarves by. In order to find any particular dwarf and interact with them, it is necessary to enter ALL of their names into Excel in the order that they appear in the list. The list can then be searchable and the relative position of the dwarf's name can be approximated and effectively found. The same can also be done with animal lists. This, however, is not possible with bridge lists, as they have a location variable that cannot be usefully accounted for in Excel.
That concludes the summary of Noob guide requested pages 1-10
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Upon looking through the forums, I have just realized that Toady releases a "DF Talk" every now and then. I will continue my research by listening to the latest one and reporting my findings afterwards.