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Text and images. Old school is better.

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Live stream and video. Newfangled technology must be applied to everything!

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Total Members Voted: 28

Voting closed: January 19, 2012, 06:50:05 pm

[Mego]

DING DONG THE FORT IS DEAD!

Spoiler: Quotes! (click to show/hide)

I remember typing that everything was going well. The game somehow found out. So naturally the place is going to hell in a handbasket.

Also, roughly how many hostiles are on the map right now?

One Skeletal Blind Cave Ogre, at the bottom of the magma sea.
Sixteen skeletal crundles, apparently coming in through the second cavern layer.
One skeletal polar bear.
Seven skeletal reindeer.
One skeletal giant olm.
One skeletal giant toad.
Thirty-three dwarves.

Like a perfectly pleasant little tundra fortress still busy getting its stuff together, that somebody painted a lovely shade of murder.

I downloaded the save for a quick look, and it gave me one of those moments where I suddenly realize everything that's wrong with the world.

There seems to be a burning ogre sitting happily in the middle of the magma sea.  I'm not sure what to make of that.

Like I said...

I think the exchange went as:
DF: Hey, man, your dwarves died, game's over!
Hellcannon: NOPE.
*Punchs DF in the face*
Hellcannon: I FEEEL ALIVEEEEE!!

What kind of an abomination have we created, gentlemen?

We have an obsidian penis in front of the fortress. No matter how The Master made it, it is still an obsidian penis. We're keeping it.

Alright, I'm in. Where do I toss my sanity?

Stack it atop the others on the table jenga-style.  Pretty sure if it falls over, a wave of sanity and competency will wash through the fort and make all right with the world.  I want to see how long we can keep that from happening.

WELCOME TO HELLCANNON (BATTLEFAILED THE THIRD)

ThatAussieDwarf, Mego, The Master, Deathsword, gamewizardinnc, Urist Imiknorris, and Sinpwn gathered together in the Queen's chamber. They had all been summoned there by Her Majesty, Led Shakecannons, and were anxious to know what she wished of them. Given the fact that seven were summoned, they could guess what she had in mind.

"All seven of you are very capable dwarves. You stand up to any challenge and never back down. This is why the Mountainhomes need you. As you may have heard, dwarves who go off to a certain area of the continent never return. We have lost contact with all of our settlements. When we send caravans and migrants, they do not return."

The seven dwarves exchanged nervous glances with each other.

"You seven have been chosen to investigate what is going on. You are to build a fortress near the site of the disappearances and carefully observe the happenings. Report to us frequently."

Deathsword cried out, "But, that will surely result in our deaths!"

Led turned to Deathsword. "It is a necessary sacrifice. We must know what has happened to our settlements. That region holds some of the most valuable resources in all of Aluorna. Will you accept this challenge?"

Knowing that the question only had one answer, the dwarves hesitantly agreed to investigate the mystery.

Journal of Mego, Chaos Crafter

1st Granite, 202

It seems we took a wrong turn.

Embark Site

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The others blamed me, and have decided that, despite my being expedition leader, we need a different overseer. Deathsword was unanimously picked to be the first overseer of our fortress. His first act as overseer was to declare the name to be Hellcannon. Whatever, man. I'll just lie low until it's the right time to take control.

Starting Seven

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Strike the earth!



LAST SAVE


A note to those unfamiliar with the storyline: This is a continuation of Battlefailed and Failcannon, but not a direct sequel. This fortress was created in a regenned world, due to no new fortresses being able to be made in the original gen. I've purposely left out the connection in the introduction. The community can decide on how it will be related. I have ideas, but it's up to everybody on how we do this.

Also, mods in this fort include:
1. Oar->cannon swap
2. Swapping nickel silver for bone blocks (didn't work)
3. Adding a reaction for blood bricks to be produced from blood spatters and such (has not been thoroughly tested yet doesn't work)

Note: Mego is incompetent when it comes to mods. Let someone else handle the mods next time.

And now, the image that sums up all of Hellcannon:

Also check out Deathsword's !!FUCKING AMAZING!! compilation of the trilogy series.

Also in PDF format.

BEHOLD, HORRORFAILED, THE BATTLE-CANNON OF HELL!

[Mego]

Turn list

Red = skipped, yellow = finished, orange = partial turn, green = in progress, blue = waiting to start

1. Deathsword - 2 3 4 5 6 7
2. Johuotar - 2 3 4
4. Strategia - 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 - Joke quote - The Battle of Hellcannon, a la House of Leaves - 15 16 17 18 19
7. The Master - 2 - Next page - 3 4 5 - Wait what? - And then everything else died - Game savescummed and turn ended without further update, because The Master was embarassed by the lack of interesting events.
9. Darvi - 2 3 4 5
10. Ieb - 2 3 4 5 6
11. Mego - 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
13. Gizogin - 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
14. Eric Blank - 2 3 4 5 6 - Most productive period any succession game has ever witnessed, ever. And consequently the most boring...
17. Dariush - 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 - Most destructive period Hellcannon has ever witnessed. Crippled the newly-founded militia before they even got their feet off the ground and then wondered why they all died. Makes us all proud.
18. LordSlowpoke - 2 3 4
19. Dark_T_Zeratul 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
20. Ghills - 1 2 3 4
21. Epithemius 1 2 3
22. Ieb 1 2 3
23. CatalystParadox - OH FUCK
24. arcangelsd
25. EmeraldWind
26. MagmaMcFry
27. rridgway
28. SethCreiyd
29. reteip9
30. ImBocaire
31. Johuotar
32. Deathsword
33. stormtemplar
34. Karakzon
35. Deviled
36. Strategia
37. Groveller
38. ThatAussieDwarf
39. Spish
40. arsenicCatnip armeggedonCounselor
41. Reudh
42. The Master
43. Gizogin
44. Erica Blank
45. Dark_T_Zeratul
46. Nat
47. NCommander
48. Ieb
49. Dariush

1-12 are carried over from Failcannon. If you requested a turn in Failcannon but aren't on the list in 1-12, blame Urist Imiknorris.

[Mego]

Dorfing List

Overseers, please keep track of the dorfings during your turn, and paste a new list afterwards.

If a migrant wave appears and the next overseer has not been dorfed yet, please give them preference.

If you wish to be dorfed, please post your request in the format of the entries on this list. Copy-pasting makes my everyone's life easier. Failing to do so may prevent you from being put on this list, and may cause bad things to happen to your dwarf.

Thank you, Darvi, for fixing this.

[ThatAussieGuy]

Alright, I'm the King of Hell!.. wait... what's this... She?



...this is because your dwarf was female in my fortress, wasn't it?

[The Master]

I'm a girl dwarf too, quit whining...

[Mego]

Alright, I'm the King of Hell!.. wait... what's this... She?



...this is because your dwarf was female in my fortress, wasn't it?

Actually, it's because there are only 2 males in the embark group, which I didn't notice until after embark. gamewizardinnc and Sinpwn were the lucky two.

[Ledi]

There must always be a Crazy Cat Lady!

Dwarf request: Ledi, any profession (but changed to "Crazy Cat Lady"), needs "likes cats for.." in her description

I'm willing to wait until one arrives. ^^

[IcepickTrotsky]

Better get in on this right away. I drooled and enjoyed every bit of Failcannony goodness, read through all the threads.

I'm interested in a brewer/speardwarf (whichever, or both even!) who is gruff but friendly. I'm sure not all of those things mesh or will happen, so I'll take anything similar enough. Call him/her Balnash/Balni.

Thanks!

[Eric Blank]

I wasn't invited to the turn list?

I suppose it's only fair that I'm late to ask since I spent the day burning my own fortress to the ground and hanging out with women.

I would like to play, even if I must wait several months real-time. I would also like a dorf in the first possible migrant wave. Yet another long-time friend, ready to reinvent the apocalypse with some ancient souls...

I also think it would be wonderful to start composing that "Epic of Aluonra" at some point.

But then again, for every 4 sentences that begin with "I" comes a "B".

And I was actually hoping we'd wait for the fort to die, and the new version to be released. Hell, The ghosts haven't even started appearing yet! Nobody has written a full, detailed excerpt of the final, glorious battle of the damned!
A sequel is a sequel, but it does seem a little premature. Now? The question becomes "How soon can we engineer a horrendous, unrecoverable disaster and move on?"
I give you 12 years (What, 6 months real time?)
13 really is the unlucky number, isn't it?

[Mego]

Eric, you weren't on the turn list from Failcannon past Deathsword. Yes, this was a bit quick after Failcannon's demise, but it's been planned for quite a bit. Deathsword can write up the ending for it, and then take his turn here, if he so chooses.

[tryrar]

heh, guess I can FINALLY get a battlefailed series dorfing! first useless dorf that comes along you can draft(preferably with military skills, and further preferring sword skills if possible, or any military skills if not), make him/her Tryrar Bladekin, and custom profession Goremaster

[Eric Blank]

Yeah I know I never requested another turn, I'm just requesting it in a ridiculous manner
And yeah I reread the last 4-5 pages of the Failcannon thread to see if I missed it actually being declared dead, couldn't find anything, which was a little concerning. Oh well.

[SirAaronIII]

This is the birth of another legend. Hopefully. Watching with great interest.

[noodle0117]

I'd like a turn please as slot number 14 or 15.

[Mekboy]

I'd like the earliest turn possible.

Also, could I be dwarfed? Medical dwarf, name of Mekboy, proffession of "Not a mad scientist".