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[acetech09]

Remember those days? When you didn't know the difference between a mace and a war hammer? When you didn't have a clue what water pressure was?

Well - I'm guiding someone through that phase right now, and I think this chatlog is worth a slight laugh...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[11/3/11 4:34:32 PM]
[11/3/11 4:35:07 PM] Roam: i have a problem in df
[11/3/11 4:35:10 PM] Ace: what is it
[11/3/11 4:35:26 PM] Roam: my sea lampart attacked a dwarf and blood is all over the stream
[11/3/11 4:35:29 PM] Roam: i think hes close to dying
[11/3/11 4:35:48 PM] Ace: *lamprey
[11/3/11 4:35:50 PM] Ace: where is the dwarf
[11/3/11 4:36:07 PM] Roam: i tried to organize a military with him, and it says he cant attack the lamprey
[11/3/11 4:36:16 PM] Roam: hes in a stream with the lamprey
[11/3/11 4:36:21 PM] Roam: screenshare?
[11/3/11 4:36:34 PM] Ace: ouch - did you pause the game?
[11/3/11 4:36:38 PM] Roam: yes
[11/3/11 4:36:42 PM] Ace: how deep is the water?
[11/3/11 4:36:54 PM] Roam: let me check...
[11/3/11 4:37:13 PM] Roam: 2 layers
[11/3/11 4:37:19 PM] Roam: i think hes drowning too
[11/3/11 4:37:39 PM] Roam: i looked up lampreys on the image search and their mouthes look pretty scary
[11/3/11 4:37:44 PM] Ace: yeah
[11/3/11 4:37:51 PM] Ace: but if he's in more than 4/7 water, he's a goner
[11/3/11 4:37:53 PM] Ace: dwarves naturally can't swim
[11/3/11 4:38:00 PM] Ace: if he fell in, he's dead. If you get your miner to channel next to him, he might be able to thrash his way to safety - unsure about the mobility of drowning dwarves tho.
[11/3/11 4:38:01 PM] Roam: oh
[11/3/11 4:38:07 PM] Ace: you should never have your dwarves going to water anyway
[11/3/11 4:38:13 PM] Roam: water [7/7]
[11/3/11 4:38:22 PM] Ace: and if you do, constantly watch your zones for creature activity
[11/3/11 4:38:27 PM] Ace: yeah
[11/3/11 4:38:30 PM] Ace: sry
[11/3/11 4:38:38 PM] Roam: ;(
[11/3/11 4:38:40 PM] Roam: thats ok
[11/3/11 4:38:44 PM] Roam: he was the cook
[11/3/11 4:38:46 PM] Roam: and grower
[11/3/11 4:38:52 PM] Ace: hrm
[11/3/11 4:38:56 PM] Roam: was
[11/3/11 4:38:57 PM] Ace: cook isn't required...
[11/3/11 4:39:00 PM] Roam: will he come back to haunt me
[11/3/11 4:39:08 PM] Ace: make a stone slab and engrave it
[11/3/11 4:39:12 PM] Roam: ok
[11/3/11 4:39:17 PM] Roam: where should i put it?
[11/3/11 4:39:22 PM] Ace: anywhere
[11/3/11 4:39:31 PM] Roam: ok
[11/3/11 4:39:32 PM] Roam: thanks
[11/3/11 4:39:40 PM] Ace: if anything, build stairs up a few z-levels to a well
[11/3/11 4:39:51 PM] Ace: that way your dwarves will be away from the water if you really neet water
[11/3/11 4:40:10 PM] Roam: right
[11/3/11 4:40:29 PM] Roam: do i engrave in the masons shop?
[11/3/11 4:40:41 PM] Ace: craftsdwarf
[11/3/11 4:40:48 PM] Ace: was that your first death?
[11/3/11 4:40:53 PM] Roam: yes
[11/3/11 4:40:56 PM] Ace: ah
[11/3/11 4:41:08 PM] Roam: i have another quick problem
[11/3/11 4:41:14 PM] Ace: just make a slab, then have a stonecrafter (skill doesnt matter) engrave the slab
[11/3/11 4:41:45 PM] Roam: i tried to kill an alligator, i made a squad with one person and my war dog, and it said that the dwarf couldn't kill the alligator for some reason
[11/3/11 4:41:55 PM] Ace: if the
[11/3/11 4:41:57 PM] Ace: wait
[11/3/11 4:41:59 PM] Ace: how is the person armed?
[11/3/11 4:42:15 PM] Roam: i gave him the weapon of his choice and the hunting skill
[11/3/11 4:42:34 PM] Ace: ah
[11/3/11 4:42:51 PM] Ace: hunting skill is different - when not on the military the hunter will grab a crossbow and kill animals then bring the dead animals to a butcher
[11/3/11 4:42:57 PM] Ace: military system requires control
[11/3/11 4:43:18 PM] Roam: ok
[11/3/11 4:43:20 PM] Ace: first of all - have you imported or forged any weapons?
[11/3/11 4:43:33 PM] Roam: i think i imported -- how do i check?
[11/3/11 4:43:51 PM] Ace: check your stockpiles set to have weapons
[11/3/11 4:43:59 PM] Roam: ok thanks
[11/3/11 4:44:24 PM] Ace: see if anything is put there - if not, make sure you don't already have a weapon in any stockpile
[11/3/11 4:44:31 PM] Ace: get a bookkeeper - he's really crucial
[11/3/11 4:44:48 PM] Roam: ok thanks
[11/3/11 4:45:02 PM] Roam: i think i'm going to have to forge a weapon
[11/3/11 4:45:11 PM] Ace: dig a 2x2 room, throw a table and a chair in there, add a dwarf with good intellect and memory to the chair, and give him the bookkeeping position
[11/3/11 4:45:26 PM] Ace: forge at least 5 weapons - a unskilled military dwarf and a dog will get pwnd by a alligator
[11/3/11 4:45:41 PM] Roam: but i can live wiht the alligators -- they're not too close to my base and usually live in the stream
[11/3/11 4:45:54 PM] Roam: i'll just have to watch my dwarves and ambush them when the time comes
[11/3/11 4:47:36 PM] Roam: i just tapped into a stream -- my dwarves were still mining when they broke into water. will they be able to mine with out drowning
[11/3/11 4:47:53 PM] Roam: water [3/7]
[11/3/11 4:47:57 PM] Ace: they can wade in 4/7 water and under
[11/3/11 4:47:59 PM] Roam: has a dusting of mud
[11/3/11 4:48:04 PM] Ace: but if it gets more than that they'll drown
[11/3/11 4:48:03 PM] Roam: ok thanks
[11/3/11 4:48:05 PM] Ace: water'll flow really fast though
[11/3/11 4:48:08 PM] Roam: they should be fine
[11/3/11 4:48:15 PM] Ace: I only tap into a stream in 1 block
[11/3/11 4:48:20 PM] Ace: that's all the flow I ever need
[11/3/11 4:48:27 PM] Roam: will i have to wall off the stream when i'm done?
[11/3/11 4:49:15 PM] Ace: erm
[11/3/11 4:50:02 PM] Roam: will the stream die down?
[11/3/11 4:50:14 PM] Roam: the water is too high right now for them to do any real work
[11/3/11 4:50:21 PM] Ace: real work?
[11/3/11 4:50:29 PM] Roam: mining, placing walls
[11/3/11 4:50:37 PM] Ace: yeah
[11/3/11 4:50:41 PM] Ace: I don't think so
[11/3/11 4:50:44 PM] Ace: wlel
[11/3/11 4:50:45 PM] Ace: well
[11/3/11 4:50:49 PM] Ace: you're safe from invaders
[11/3/11 4:50:51 PM] Roam: aww
[11/3/11 4:50:53 PM] Ace: fish might get in
[11/3/11 4:50:57 PM] Roam: there is a lot of water
[11/3/11 4:51:01 PM] Ace: yeah
[11/3/11 4:51:02 PM] Roam: its going to be my farm
[11/3/11 4:51:03 PM] Ace: it flows fast
[11/3/11 4:51:06 PM] Ace: ah
[11/3/11 4:51:08 PM] Roam: i think is ruined
[11/3/11 4:51:08 PM] Ace: doesn't work like that
[11/3/11 4:51:15 PM] Ace: you have to build floodgates to control water
[11/3/11 4:51:22 PM] Roam: oh
[11/3/11 4:51:22 PM] Roam: ok
[11/3/11 4:51:23 PM] Roam: thanks
[11/3/11 4:53:33 PM] Roam: uh oh its leaking into the rest of my fortress
[11/3/11 4:53:41 PM] Ace: ah
[11/3/11 4:53:44 PM] Ace: congrat
[11/3/11 4:53:44 PM] Ace: s
[11/3/11 4:53:49 PM] Roam: will it stop eventually?
[11/3/11 4:53:50 PM] Ace: nope
[11/3/11 4:53:54 PM] Ace: congrats
[11/3/11 4:53:56 PM] Roam: ...
[11/3/11 4:54:07 PM] Roam: I DONT HAVE ANY ROCK!
[11/3/11 4:54:19 PM] Ace: you might have lost your first fortress to flooding. that is a common noob mistake
[11/3/11 4:54:52 PM] Roam: can i make... wooden... floodgates?
[11/3/11 4:55:15 PM] Roam: wooden blocks?
[11/3/11 4:55:32 PM] Roam: ooooh floodgate
[11/3/11 4:55:38 PM] Roam: its a race against time
[11/3/11 4:55:47 PM] Ace: lol - this chat is going on the forums
[11/3/11 4:55:57 PM] Roam: water is flooding into my crafting area and my dwarves are pumping out wooden floogates
[11/3/11 4:56:53 PM] Roam: what are floodgates classified as in stockpiles?
[11/3/11 4:57:36 PM] Ace: furniture
[11/3/11 4:58:23 PM] Roam: ok thanks
[11/3/11 4:59:37 PM] Roam: the water is 4 spaces away from the crafting area
[11/3/11 4:59:53 PM] Ace: heh
[11/3/11 5:00:27 PM] Roam: its going into my trade depot...
[11/3/11 5:01:30 PM] Roam: nooo
[11/3/11 5:01:32 PM] Roam: this is bad
[11/3/11 5:01:44 PM] Roam: can we screenshare please
[11/3/11 5:01:47 PM] Roam: this is really bad
[11/3/11 5:02:32 PM] Ace: ...
[11/3/11 5:02:41 PM] Roam: there still might be hope
[11/3/11 5:02:54 PM] Roam: it says the building area is submerged
[11/3/11 5:03:00 PM] Roam: am i doomed?
[11/3/11 5:03:09 PM] Ace: is your whole fortress on that level?
[11/3/11 5:03:17 PM] Roam: yes
[11/3/11 5:04:00 PM] Ace: oops
[11/3/11 5:04:01 PM] Ace: got any building material?
[11/3/11 5:04:07 PM] Roam: wood
[11/3/11 5:04:17 PM] Roam: but my crafting area is REALLY close to water
[11/3/11 5:04:33 PM] Roam: should i just let it run and see what happens?
[11/3/11 5:05:14 PM] Roam: ill let it run and record it
[11/3/11 5:05:30 PM] Ace: it's a common way of losing a fortres...
[11/3/11 5:11:04 PM] Roam: the crafting area is flooded and hes STILL making floodgates...
[11/3/11 5:11:18 PM] Ace: he'll make floodgates up to 4/7 water
[11/3/11 5:11:38 PM] Ace: floodgates won't help you now, though
[11/3/11 5:11:50 PM] Roam: i know
[11/3/11 5:12:22 PM] Roam: i abandoned the fortress
[11/3/11 5:12:25 PM] Ace: noooo
[11/3/11 5:12:31 PM] Ace: play fortresses to the end.
[11/3/11 5:12:36 PM] Ace: losing is fun.
[11/3/11 5:13:22 PM] Roam: does something **special** happen
[11/3/11 5:21:28 PM] Roam: ok

Feel free to reminisce, post your own funny stories, or conversations you had with people you're tutoring.

[krenshala]

So, is he hooked?

[Mitchewawa]

I lol'd. My favourite part was:

'Roam: my sea lampart attacked a dwarf and blood is all over the stream
Roam: i think hes close to dying'

[nightwhips]

That was awesome. It starts so innocuously...

"Will the stream die down?"

No, son. No, it won't.

[Sutremaine]

Aw. Wasn't hauling all the important stuff up a floor an option here?

btw, dwarves drown only in 7/7 water, even if they dodge into it from the level above.

[NecroRebel]

I remember one of my first forts (perhaps the first), I had an experience like that. I had heard that you should have an underground cistern to store water in, and that you should tap streams from the level above, so I did that... But then the little pit I had dug out underground to store water in filled up and the water just kept coming. My tunnel that lead to the stream started to fill, so I looked through the various workshops that I had builts' menus and found floodgates in the mason's shop, so I build and then placed one, but then the water flooded the build site, so I tried building another, but by the time it finished the water had gotten beyond the point where it was actually containable and I abandoned the fort.

[Oliolli]

Unfortunately I don't have a log available, but I still remember when a friend of mine (who, by the way, introduced me to DF, but played very little. I sort-of teach him now.) had made a functioning little fort. Then a brush titan shows up, sneaks into his base somehow (as I figured, all of his entryways were sealed off) and butchered most of his fort. I couldn't help but laugh as he panicked.

[Gamzee]

This just happened a few days ago, but yeah spoilers

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Fredrik Hansson says
wow
imma have ALOT of adamentite
imma even make a special storage for it 
Bish aaa says
just eh
don't dig the /whole/ thing
Fredrik Hansson says
why? 
Bish aaa says
well uh
for one thing, the wealth would mean a LOT of seiges
Fredrik Hansson says
 I FUCKING HOPE SO
also uh
what
is
this
Bish aaa says
well.....
Fredrik Hansson says
WHAT
Bish aaa says
thats what I was trying to warn you of actually 
Bish aaa says
its the uh     
Fredrik Hansson says
HELL 
Bish aaa says
HIDDEN FUN STUFF
Fredrik Hansson says
 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bish aaa says
oh boy wait til you see the clowns
Fun indeed 
Fredrik Hansson says
 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well i dont have any real entrance
unless
they can fly 
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
Fredrik Hansson says
IM SCARED BISH 
WHAT
Fredrik Hansson says
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Bish aaa says
and yeah wings
Fredrik Hansson says
WHAT
STEAM BANSEHE?
WHAT
WATHESILDGNKSMAFKPDGKNHTld_FÖ
Fredrik Hansson says
 AELJGTKHSNÖLAFJSGHNKGJALEJAFFSGO
Bish aaa says
but yeah clowns
Fredrik Hansson says
THEY ARE QUEUEING
Bish aaa says
randomly generated, just like forgotten beasts
only uh
a bit worse 
Fredrik Hansson says
oh dear god
BISH THEY'RE GETTING INTO MY CASTLE 
Bish aaa says
yeah they do that sometimes 
Fredrik Hansson says
ASFDKGS
WILL DOORS HOLD THEM BACK?
Bish aaa says
nah they'll break them 
Fredrik Hansson says
DFJSJDFOSIEJHFSDFSDFKJSFSD
   

[Urist Imiknorris]

It's always fun when people discover the HFS for the first time.

[kardwill]

Aaah, the sweet days of innocence, when I thought a locked door could hold goblins.

"Oh, a trapped goblin thief. Heh! Nobody enters my fortress.
...
Err, where did he come from?
Oh, he unlocked a door. Okay, I'll just lock it again before the ambush squad enters.
...
Huh? What do you mean by 'I can't lock a conquered door?'"

Cue slaughter and misery. And blood. Blood everywhere!

[zehive]

[11/3/11 4:35:07 PM] Roam: i have a problem in df
...
[11/3/11 4:35:26 PM] Roam: my sea lampart attacked a dwarf and blood is all over the stream
[11/3/11 4:35:29 PM] Roam: i think hes close to dying
...
[11/3/11 4:47:36 PM] Roam: i just tapped into a stream -- my dwarves were still mining when they broke into water. will they be able to mine with out drowning
...
[11/3/11 4:50:57 PM] Roam: there is a lot of water
...
[11/3/11 4:53:33 PM] Roam: uh oh its leaking into the rest of my fortress
...
[11/3/11 4:54:07 PM] Roam: I DONT HAVE ANY ROCK!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThOXlmVbQGs


welcome to dorf fortress


oh and
[11/3/11 4:37:39 PM] Roam: i looked up lampreys on the image search and their mouthes look pretty scary

tell him not to do this when he finds crundles, their mouths are worse!

[Togre]

This is great.

As a newb myself I only wish I had friends playing DF to whom I could look for help and ridicule or who were even newb-er whom I could in turn help (and ridicule) myself.

Of course I'm too much of a coward to achieve catastrophic !!FUN!!.  Yet....

[Hammerstar]

Reminds me of my first few lost fortresses...

After I got past the flooding, it was starvation. Once I got that sorted out, goblin ambushes...

Amazing how that stuff seems so non-threatening now.

[Dave1004]

I've played DF for around half a year now, and never breached hell. I didn't trust that adamantine after a "Friend" told me to mine it out. Sure, I may have chipped some off, but that's fine. My fortresses almost always die due to starvation/loss of booze/cats/drowning...Only lost two to sieges, maybe I should stop turtling. I wish I could go back to the very beginning...Ah. I can't believe on my first game I brought twelve cats, 10 female 2 male, and a bunch of food and booze, but no dwarves with skills. I lasted til year two (Three?), when an ettin suddenly popped up and smashed dwarves. My first artifact (in that fort) was a platinum chair. Badass thing it was.

I ramble a lot.

[Mitchewawa]

A friend I recently got into DF found the traffic tool recently. No matter what I tell him, he sets EVERYTHING to high traffic because 'it makes them go faster.'

Oh lord.