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Author Topic: SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens  (Read 4150 times)

DisgruntledPeasant

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SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens
« on: October 29, 2011, 03:08:23 pm »

My first successful fortress has fallen… almost.
I am fairly new, so ive been making up my plans as I go along.

I had nearly 200 dwarves, a large above ground fort with a bustling industry below, migrant waves had stopped coming and I had not seen a dwaven caravan for some time, so I can only guess something bad must have happened to my homeland, judging from the nearly constant waves of goblins attacking my fort I presume the same goblins have killed off the other dwarves.

Unfortunately I could find NO metal, I melted down what i could from the goblins but i feared that without something far better then I would eventually lose the fort to the goblins, simply due to the fact that i was no longer regaining what few dwarves I would lose in each attack.
I dug deep, I found adamantine.  I knew the risks but I was greedy, of course I would only take a little bit, I would be careful.
The Clowns came in a massive horde, I had not completed my underground defences against them, the ballista was not ready and all I could do was assemble my soldiers and hope for the best.  I did not know Clowns don’t set off traps,  this was going very badly.

Not too long ago I had begun building a keep on the surface for emergencies, it had a stockpile of food to last months, bedrooms and could be completely sealed off from the rest of the world by a lever, I ordered my civilians to fall back to it, unfortunately it was not finished and I knew I could only take in a small number due to the food and room available, I had to abandon the rest.

Those left outside were ordered to seal off every entrance the Clowns could escape by, and those inside hastily sealed up the unfinished parts of the keep.  My soldiers were lasting longer than expected and gave the dwarves topside a lot of time,  they were doing fine until the battlefield was engulfed in steam which burned them up.

A godamn Goblin siege, of course I expected one sooner or later, they came nearly non-stop but I’d hoped for longer preparation, the levers to the drawbridge were sealed in with the Clowns and I could not risk unleashing them!  So the goblins kill everyone outside, all that are left are those in the keep, 24 in all.  Oh, and a cook who is still in the sealed fortress, so far having evaded the Clowns.

Enter Rambo Kitten:  I look through the remains of my fortress, hoping to find some path the cook could take to the drawbridge controls when I see a kitten cornered by THREE Clowns, it doesn’t die, in fact, it isn’t even wounded. I check the combat report and this fight has been going on for ages, the beasts keep trying to kill it but the kitten dodges every time!  How could it be that the same Clowns who destroyed my army cannot kill a harmless kitten!?

More important things are happening topside, I had forgotten just one exit the Clowns could use, a deep, one tile wide pit that I was going to build a well out of, just one Clown had found its way up but the passage lead directly into the keep, where my survivors were!
I drafted every dwarf into the army and ordered them to attack, they had no weapons and no training but there was 42 of them against one, and they won!  With hardly an injury.  They did not actually kill the beast, but drove it to the roof where it tried to fly away and got shot down by goblin archers; the well shaft was sealed up right away.




Now... what can I do?   42 dwarves in a keep designed to house half that number, food supplies are abundant but there is no way to replenish them and I cannot expand because of the goblins outside and Clowns below,  I have a cook who is hiding in the fortress food supply and some kind of immortal kitten lord of destruction that is locked in an eternal battle with Clowns.
(If I somehow manage to claw this fortress back into working order, that kitten is going to be worshiped as a god)
« Last Edit: October 29, 2011, 04:17:35 pm by DisgruntledPeasant »
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Hammerstar

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Re: Demons, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2011, 03:19:26 pm »

Sounds to me like an un-winnable situation, unless there is some means to open a passage to resources without letting the nasties in. I'm assuming directly down from your aboveground fort is all mined out, negating the chance of digging down into a new, closed off area to try to get resources to build back upon. If there are means available, I'd rig up the fortress to collapse with a lever pull, then invite the goblins in, and go out in a blaze of glory. Or at least a cave in of glory.
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Togre

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Re: Demons, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2011, 03:57:54 pm »

Any way to use 1 or 2 expendable dwarfs to unleash the clown hordes on the goblins?  It would at least reduce the number of problems you face for the moment.
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Frelus

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Re: Demons, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2011, 04:03:35 pm »

Please, put spoiler into the title and replace "Demons" with "Clowns".
For the sake of people who don't want spoilers.
For the situation:
Is your food supply where the cook is sealed off?
Can you dig to it without crossing any other shafts?
If yes, do it.
If no.... enable masonry on your cook, and at least try to seal the food supply off, and then use the other dwarfes, digging 1 tile stairways and sealing them off instantly.
greetz and good luck
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It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's Fun and Dwarf Fortress.
My trade depot is set to flood with water at the pull of a lever.  It's deep in the tunnels with easy drainage.  I call it my "water for goods" trading policy.

DisgruntledPeasant

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Re: SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2011, 04:22:04 pm »

Apolagies for spoilers,  edited.

Unfortunately my dwarves do not have a pickaxe with them,  the goblins did leave, for what reason I did not know-  until  my dwarves left the keep and "a vile force of darkness has arrived".  the sneaky bastards.

I managed to retreat back inside again before too much damage was done, but it seems there is no way out, and hiding inside a sealed keep for eternity is hardly very dwarfy!

I will enlist all but 3 dwarves into the army and make a suicide rush into the goblin whorde, whilst the 3 others will use the diversion to break down the barracades and unleash all sorts of horrible things on the goblins.
I fear that my fortress is the last of dwarvenkind, as there has been no migrants, diplomats or caravans for a very very long time.  what better way for the dwarven race to die out than to be unleashing doom upon the world?
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Frelus

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Re: SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2011, 04:26:48 pm »

Enable the mining labor on 1 dorf and let him make a connection.
The rest either distract the gobbos or build MOAR BARRICADES!
Are the demons in your main fort?
Have you got any possibility to barricade the entrance?
if both is no (and very possibly even if only 1 is no), this seems very lost.
greetz and good luck
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It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's Fun and Dwarf Fortress.
My trade depot is set to flood with water at the pull of a lever.  It's deep in the tunnels with easy drainage.  I call it my "water for goods" trading policy.

KtosoX

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Re: SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2011, 04:42:01 pm »

Great read OP.
I'd like to point out that 200 is a lot for a new player. But like every living creature comes to an end, so does every fort. Let the survives pass on like true dwarves: in random chaos from which they were born!
Unleash hell on earth! Blood to the blood God! RIP!
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acetech09

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Re: SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2011, 08:02:52 pm »

A few suggestions:

If you feel yourself being cornered by the gobbos, build a city wall. That'll keep out land invaders while you take your time assembling a response (i.e. loading up some more weapon traps). If they use flying mounts, a sustainable bone industry should provide you with enough crossbow bolts to perforate any intrusions.

Also, as a failsafe for beaching the HFS, always keep a dwarf on standby ready to build a floor over your pipe to the underworld... You might lose a few good miners, but better than your whole fort.
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Lordraymond

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Re: SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2011, 10:10:29 pm »

Demons might not set off traps, but they sure as hell are effected by gravity. Make as many menacing spikes as dwarvenly possible, build a pit, build a drawbridge, invite demons over for tea and DWORF BLOOD on the other side of the bridge, retract bridge, and VOILA! Demon shishkebobs, precooked and ready to serve.
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Vindictus

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Re: SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2011, 03:00:46 am »

Can demons be atom smashed? If so...  :)
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Well, I now have an urge to end sentient life.

I think I'll go meditate for a bit.

Madventurer

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Re: SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2011, 03:08:35 am »

I heard that no.
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Then he made grudge wit about 20 other dwarfs (still don't know why - perhaps they were stealing his chair).

Vindictus

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Re: SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #11 on: October 30, 2011, 03:19:04 am »

Drat.

Does water pressure effect them?
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malroth

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Re: SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #12 on: October 30, 2011, 03:41:42 am »

They don't drown and only non pressurized flow pushes things around
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Why couldn't my vampire Hammerer eat someone useless, like a migrant? Instead, she went after my only gemcutter.. but sadly there were no witnesses, so I convicted someone's pet duck as the murderer.  It got off easy, with no beatings or jail time.  >.<

Vindictus

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Re: SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #13 on: October 30, 2011, 06:39:00 pm »

So no blasting them into a pit of adamantium spikes with a complicated water trap then. Blast.
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Well, I now have an urge to end sentient life.

I think I'll go meditate for a bit.

restricted

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Re: SPOILERS: Clowns, goblins and rambo Kittens
« Reply #14 on: October 30, 2011, 06:53:51 pm »

Do you have magma and the capability to pump it?
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