OMG! So much amazing stuff I've missed in this thread!
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The genetics of pony type always made most sense to me like this:
AA=unicorn
aa=pegasus
Aa=earth pony
aA=earth pony
So:
unicorn + unicorn = always unicorn
pegasus + pegasus = always pegasus
unicorn + pegasus = always earth pony
earth pony + earth pony = 1/4 unicorn, 1/4pegasus, 1/2 earth pony
unicorn + earth pony = 1/2 unicorn, 1/2 earth pony
pegasus + earth pony = 1/2 pegasus, 1/2 earth pony
Allicorn requires some kind of rare chromosomal mutation/powerful magic, and are sterile as a result. Or all alicorns always existed and can never be created or destroyed. Either of those work.
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I must repeat my early warning. FOR THE BRONZE PICKLE'S VIEWING ONLY.
Please tell me this is a result of the most cracky Homestuck/MLP shipfic ever.
something sad, yet heartwarming
Indeed.
Damn, it'd almost be worth it not to be so mentally distanced if it meant being able to create pieces like these.
Unfortunately, almost. As long as there're stuff like the second part of Friends In Need around, I'll much prefer to keep my barriers up.
Don't use ANY multiplier, not a low one for shielding nor a high one for sensitivity. Square it instead, to get it always positive and with a polynomial scaling factor.
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Edit: I suddenly get the feeling that creating a pony RP entitled "The Creepy Pony RP" would actually be a really good idea. I think that there must be something displacing the oxygen in my house. Or maybe I'm just tired.
If all this other stuff is any indication, I want to join this SO BAD. Please let me.
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I'm still waiting for the ultimate crossover where everything gets crossed over with everything. If it's anything like the shit that goes on in my head, it'll end with everyone from Anakin Skywalker to Zeruel fighting in a battle that makes the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Desiny look like a quick scuffle between a few bacteria. Still haven't exactly figured out where ponies might fit in, maybe nonlethal combatants and support.
You mean like this:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5389450/1/The_Finale_of_the_Ultimate_Meta_Mega_CrossoverHaven't actually read it myself, because I plan on reading those books and don't want to get them spoiled, but from what I hear it should be perfect.
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And so you get the first bit too: “Born on a rock farm. I saw a sonic rainboom. Became very happy and energetic.” I slowly realized that this date was not going to be a particularly emotional one. I would most likely punch Dansen in the face for hooking me up with such an emotionless shell? Not sure about that last one.
When she started cuddling me on my sofa I realized that she wasn’t a very good hugger. In fact, she may have been the worst. Her grip was tight, yet it was more of a “Just doing this for show” kind of feel, like that eerie smile. I knew I had to get her out of her before the morning. Being in bed with her the night after would be quite possibly a living hell of passive aggressiveness, if she could manage that. Then she realized I was becoming rapidly bored with this entire evening (And possibly morning, if God felt angry at me) and randomly said “How about I play the trumpet?” Oh Dear Christ. It was the most dull melody I have ever heard. It sounded like the experience of watching a robot stamp on concrete without the natural rhythm that comes from that. Christ, and it just got worse. After about two minutes, she saw the expression on my face. She seemed to actually frown and stopped playing. She looked at me. I looked at her. This went on for thirty minutes. I was working up the energy to leave when she grabbed me.
“Please, Fniff...” She said, her monotone being tinged with panic. “Just... Please. Don’t go. Can you come to bed with me?”
I looked her in the face. I stood up, took her hoof off my hand and left the room, and the house. I needed to see a horse about an incredibly passive aggressive/loving mare.
Pinkie stared across from me in the cafe we had chosen. It had a fairly jazzy theme which I enjoyed, the decor was lovely and the customers polite and not too loud. I was not looking forward to Pinkie, however, mainly due to our night together. Which I think may have been the most horribly awkward night any man has experienced.
“Hey Pink.” I said, humming ‘All and all you are just another brick in the wall” in my head. “How is things?”
(Wanna act as NoAnger!Pinkie?)
“Things are a lot better, now.” Pinkie flashed a warm, genuine smile.
I felt slightly shocked. This didn’t seem like the Pinkie that I was forced to leave. I had a sudden jolt of conscience. I just caught on an off day. I felt terrible.
“Hey, Pinkie?” I averted my eyes. “I.... I am sorry for what I did that night. I was incredibly rude, I should have asked what was wrong... That probably screwed you up a bit... I didn’t help at all.”
“It’s okay,” the pink pony replied, “it’s not like you hurt me. Back then, I couldn’t feel a thing. My emotion was gone.” The smile drooped into a frown, but quickly raised itself. “Now I can feel emotion again! But I can’t get angry, for some reason. It’s not an emotion I really use, though, so no big loss.”
I remembered what my Professor had told me about what I should do if one of my genetically spawned ‘Children’ had got a sudden bout of depression if it discovered something bad about itself. The five stages of grief. I felt suddenly a bit suspicious of her act. Maybe she had just gotten good at hiding things. I’d have to do a bit of testing to find out just how okay she was. I needed to improvise.
“Well, Pinkie, that’s great.” I smiled a rather goofy smile. “I’ve been doing a lot of work, made a bit of money as a mad scientist and one of my works may get me a reward! It’s all good.”
“That sounds really good. What kind of work is it?” Pinkie beamed.
Time for the crunch. My line of work was not usually well-liked. If she was denying something, then a glimpse of anger might show through. But, if she genuinely did not feel a thing, well... That’d be just as obvious to me.
“You know those old movies about Frankenstein? The Doctor, I mean? Slowly goes from a sane doctor into a mad guy reanimating the dead?” I pointed at myself, while keeping the smile. “My job.”
“You seem proud of yourself. I guess you like what you do. Are your ‘monsters’ as hideous as Frankenstein’s?” Pinkie’s smile didn’t disappear.
Odd. Seemed like she was either a very good hider, or very good at lacking anger.
“Well, I try to make them reasonable to look at. I mean, I do have to present them to a community at the end of the day. I usually genetically splice them from creatures from a multitude of dimensions, though sometimes I dabble in teleportation of random creatures from what could be considered fictional universes.” I chuckled. “Yep, I guess I would say I really enjoy my work and my ‘Monsters’”
“Well, as long as they’re happy, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Pinkie looked away, seemingly thinking of a new subject.
My few years of experience were good at detecting this. When you create a creature using lightening or just plain carbon and genetics, you gotta be good at body language to know they won’t commit suicide after you stop looking at them.
“My apartment block got recently renovated. Funny, I didn’t actually realize they were doing anything. Guess I was really cooped up in there!” I adjusted my glasses while smiling. I tried not to think about the Subbasement or the fear would show in my eyes. “I even have a pet shark leech thingy named Howard.”
Pinkie turned back toward the conversation. “Really? I’d love to meet him! He sounds like a cool pet.”
I chuckled. “Well, the pet costs are pretty dear for a multi-dimensional being, I guess...” Human cadaver + some SCP I stole from the Foundation. It did not net nice results, but Howard rather liked it. Honestly, the human cadavers were pretty easy to find. “But, I wouldn’t mind at all taking you to see him. He’s pretty nippy, though. And he does have teeth. A lot of teeth.”
“That’s okay. Gummy never had teeth, but his mommy did! And she didn’t like me very much at first.” Pinkie once again quickly flashed to sadness before she continued. “When she died, she told me to take care of him for her. I swore to her that I’d treat him as my own.”
I smiled, genuinely. I was actually enjoying this topic of conversation. I was no longer psychologically trolling her.
“Well, Howard came from the boiler room which was filled with water, due to a portal to the Subbas...” I realized what I was saying and looked at the menu. “Wow, they have sandwiches at this time of day?”
Pinkie’s eyes perked oddly. “What was that?”
Still hiding my mouth over the menu, I said “Oh, nothing. Just something bad you probably don’t need to know. Honestly. Wow, they even have bacon on them. I don’t like meat, but wowee.”
“Fniff... did something happen to Howard?” Pinkie’s eyes showed her worry.
“Nothing, really. Just a matter of a terrifying alternate dimension created by the follies of ma-- Oh dear, I just said that.” I closed my eyes in anger at myself.
“The follies of...man? What men?” Her eyes looked more worrisome than ever.
I am such a twat sometimes. I couldn’t go for a minute without mentioning that terrifying subbasement. I mean, it only possessed me once. That’s better then most of the other tenants. It was like a bloody Slender Man blog in there before I locked myself in.
“... Okay, so the guys who owned the flats previously found a mysterious hole in the ground near my apartment. I was the only one in that floor. Then I started noticing odd things. Things out of the corner of my eye. This all kinda went into a finale when these things started locking the doors and windows, destroyed all means of contacting the outside... So I sort of locked myself into my apartment.” I said, finally. “I didn’t come out for a while.”
“Wh...what happened in there?” Pinkie looked scared, but drawn in.
“Well, have you ever read The House Of Leaves? Or read any blogs that talk about a tall Slender man? Or possibly played Silent Hill? Well, if you did read all of those, combine them with a very old, very decayed twisted version of reality all confined underground in a cold subbasement, and you got a neat summary of that hell below my floor. And what happened was pretty much... Dunno.” I said, finally. I honestly did not know what happened outside.
“That sounds terrible! Do you wanna talk about it?” Pinkie moved over to sit next to you.
I sighed. “Sure, can’t see the harm. Anything you wanna know about?”
“Did anything try to hurt you?” Pinkie began wrapping her hooves around you. The hug suddenly felt genuine and warm.
Until I remembered the Screamer. I sweated a little, then did what I usually did with memories of the subbasement. I blocked it out.
“... Yep. A lot did. Nothing could stop them, I guess. I think so. I couldn’t really test it out, really... I dunno how I could even get out, none of the windows nor doors would let us out to get weapons or help....” I frowned.
“Us? There was someone in there with you?”
I frowned deeper.
“Well, I knew people. When I locked my doors, I kinda... Well, they knocked and yelled for me to open the doors, but...” I sighed. “Guess they... went silent after a while. While I was out, they tried to help me with my visions and the attacks and lots of things you shouldn’t know about since that would probably not be good for anyone to know...”
“You really need to let loose about this, don’t you?” Pinkie looked like she might cry, but she was keeping it in well.
“After I came out... Well, the guys were mostly nice. Things got confusing near the middle or so. I must have gotten a concussion or hallucinations from something, I dunno. I kinda just remember a lot of fighting, taking down heaven or something...” I waved a dismissive hand. “Nonsense, really.”
“Well, that kind of ‘nonsense’ can really take a toll on someone.” A tear fell from her eye as Pinkie lowered her muzzle onto your shoulder. “I should know...”
I felt like I was an emotionally fucked brick wall. I couldn’t relate just how bad it is to slowly realize you and your friends you carefully made were going to die. Then, after you shut yourself in, coming out again with a whole set of new friends then slowly realizing you were probably halluicinating and you were still in the subbasement never leaving never dreaming except for this mere moment, and slowly losing blood due to a wound or something and having a ruined mind trying to make comphensation and a happy ending for you.
“Yes, you should. I think... I think that... I made one true friend among the guys. Dunno where he went, though. Searched around... Something about dimensional traveling, he was a mad scientist too, you see. I gave him some pointers... He was trying to make a bird, then things got fuzzy and now he is gone, along with a few others. I don’t talk much, I just get the mail and call it out to random people in that apartment. I’m usually just socializing with people. Outside of the block.”
“Would you like to have another friend?” As you turned, you found yourself staring into Pinkie’s slightly watery eyes.
I felt bad, but I was going to compensate for everything. I could be bleeding on that cold concrete the Subbasement is made out of, but I’ll make a friend along the way.
“Sure. I would really like you, Pinkie, to be my friend. If you want, I’m not exactly a master of being cool or hip or partying...” I trailed off.
“You don’t have to be a master of partying or anything. Ever since my little accident, I’ve become a little more calm with the party thing.” Pinkie smirked. “Not that I can’t still throw a wicked gig!”
I mused on my anger against the monstrous black darkness that was the subbasement. “Pinkie... I read the files and the papers. What Slag did to you is possibly the worst thing a sentient being could do to anything. He was at fault. I mean, I feel anger at what that... thing they call a floor did to me and my former friends. Don’t you ever feel... rage at that?” I said, looking at her with a deep “I need an answer here” expression in my eyes.
“Rage? I...” Pinkie’s eyes defocused as she thought. After a few second, they slowly came back. “I...think I wanted to. My brain... my mind, it wanted to hate. It wanted to fell sad, too. But it couldn’t. But, now...even if I could feel rage, I don’t know if I would. It’s been really hard, but he didn’t completely destroy me. All that I care about is still here. My friends are all getting better, and even though we all have our problems, we’ll still be there for each other.” Pinkie smiled with a deep, warm grin as her eyes once again filled with tears.
I sighed. “That’s good, Pink. That’s great.” I remembered the Pink Floyd reference, then I thought about the integration of pony/human culture. “Have you ever played a video-game, Pinkie?”
“Hmm?” Pinkie’s eyes once again perked up. “That sounds fun. Do you have one of them?”
“Well, they are quite fun.” I said. “I actually wanted to design them, but I couldn’t code and my personal favorite type of coding was DNA, so one thing led to another... And... Might as well explain the concept.” I tried to be precise about my favorite hobby, trying to use the points from my older brother about acting like a normal person about your interests. I had to cut down on what I considered interesting parts, but... I think I got the main point.
“That’s really cool.” Pinkie placed her head back on your shoulder. “I really like you, Fniff. We should hang out more often.”
“Gotta agree, Pinkie.”
((OOC: This reminds me of some of the people I’ve talked to on Omegle, only less pornographic))
(Bronze, do you think we should wrap this up or cut to another meeting? In a different setting, such as Pinkie’s place or possibly Fniff’s place?)
Pinkie was laying in Fniff’s arms as the pair filled up the loveseat. On the TV was a movie, The Princess Bride. Pinkie had convinced Fniff that it was the perfect movie for the date after a few minutes of trading ideas.
“Seriously, I really think that watching 3:10 to Yuma would be more your thing, but I gotta admit, I’m not good at choosing movies for people.” I shrugged on the loveseat, which was a rather impractical move on such a small piece of furniture.
“Don’t worry! I know what I’m talking about. You’ll love it!” Pinkie turned her head around and gleamed her bright smile.
“Okay then.” I put the missed Western aside as one of the many natural voices in my head said 3:10 to Yuma is a second date thing, man. “Wonder what this is going to be like.” I didn’t really expect this to be anything much more then a Disney thing. I had heard the memes, but... Hm. It could be good.
The film started. The cynical part of my brain tried to point out flaws, but... It actually kinda seemed okay. In fact, it was pretty good.
“I like this.” I said, plainly. Then the phone started to ring. “Sorry, but I really have to answer that.” I shifted around, and managed to get up. I wandered to the phone, and answered it.
“Hullo?” I asked.
“Is a Pinkie Pie there?” The voice on the line was feminine, crisp and official in tone, but something was off...
I frowned. “Uh, Pink? I think someone wants you... Possibly somepony.” I said, one hand over the receiver.
Pinkie Pie walked over and gripped the phone with her forehoof, somehow raising it to her ear. “Hello?” You look on as Pinkie Pie’s eyes grow wide as saucers. After a few more seconds, she responds to the barely-audible voice with an “okay” and puts the receiver on the stand.
I frowned. I knew that okay. That was the okay of the mad scientist who just lost his or her grant. That was the okay of a man or mare who was really not okay with something. This was the okay of the damned.
“That didn’t sound good.” I frowned, my eyes clearly showing worry. “Is something wrong?”
“Wrong...wrong...” Pinkie Pie looked up from her stupor. “N...no, nothing’s ‘wrong’,” Pinkie’s mouth slowly curled into a huge smile, “I’m having a baby!”
“Nah, seriously?” Was the first stage. I was painfully aware I was quickly cycling through the various stages of grief that worriers the world over have. “That couldn’t be. Please let it not be. I’m... Not the father? Can’t be. Doesn’t make sense biologically.”
“Considering Spike and Rarity, I don’t think it has to make sense biologically.” Pinkie Pie looked up in thought. “But maybe because of your job your body subconsciously learned how to make it work?”
“I wouldn’t like that at all. Oh please Sl-- God, yeah. God, please...” I was worried. Kid + Job + Pony would make me a walking shipping fic. Every single fictional character would come knocking. “Goddammit, why does my job make me a hypersexual birth-aid or something!? This is an injustice! Dammit, why...” I frowned deeply. “Yeah, this is probably going to be something bad and it ends the world or something.” I stayed like that for about a minute or so. “Okay, I can deal with it.” I then sighed gratefully. Mad scientists usually got the short end of things, mentally. We are not exactly a stable type.
“Umm, honey, are you okay?” You woke up to find yourself sprawled across the floor of... a hospital? As you looked up, you saw your beautiful wife staring down at you, her pink mane drooping to her side. In her arms was your little bundle of joy, ironically looking completely human and yet otherwise a nearly perfect mirror of its...his mother.
“The hyperdonic reflex is, before this moment, an unknown reaction that could possibly achieve immortality... To do so I shall stimulate the stem cells of the brain... There we are.” I blinked. What the hell was I saying? I was mumbling my first lecture on immortality. Christ, and I had just got a kid and ever-- Oh dear. “Honey, I think that the mad scientific community will be very interested in our little hybrid...” I laughed. “My concussion feels nice. Fainting from severe shock is fuuuuun.”
“Well, then, why don’t you get up here and meet your new little boy?” Pinkie gently moved her son’s arm up and down, making him wave at his fallen father.
“Heh... Spark would be a terrible name for a kid. However, Staunan is quite unusual yet nice. I’ll go with Tom, though. Yeah, Tom.” I managed to get up, albeit dizzily, but I was standing.
After letting you get comfortable on your feet, Pinkie offers for you to hold Tom.
“Sure, hon.” I said, managing to stay sane despite a rather worried looking doctor staring at me. I gently took the baby and looked at him. “Tom Ulysess Diane Deus Ex Awesome O’Neil Pie. Has a nice ring.” I smiled. “Hey little guy.”
“Hi daddy.”
“Aah. Either I am hallucinating or he just said my title now. Possibly I should check just what a human/pony creature does. Will it retain pony magic, or possibly not? Would it gain mechanical parts due to your injury? I have no clue, but it’s going to be fun.” I smiled.
Pinkie just grinned her beautiful smile. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself. We still have to raise him, too.”
“Hm. Yep. Guess it’s not too different from making a recreation of a demon, making it’s blood candy floss and giving it the mind of a five year old and trying to raise it. It’s a lot less bloody, too. And less incredibly dangerous.” I then grinned. “Wow, I have a goddamn child!”
O_O
This is amazing. This is good and you should feel good. You are a true master of postmodernism. This is the BEST. THING. EVER.
Please tell me there is more...
((Also, the google docs mirror is missing the first part.))
Author
Topic: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic (Read 228644 times)