Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Ringmaster]

Huh, I'm just a shortarse in real life. All the relation I need.

[sniken]

i woke up almost screaming from a nightmare last night.


I was chased by hordes of fluffy and decease spreading kittens wanting to adopt me :<

[Shinotsa]

i woke up almost screaming from a nightmare last night.


I was chased by hordes of fluffy and decease spreading kittens wanting to adopt me :<

Jesus. I had one where Urist McMagmaMucker went to bed with magma on his boots and the entire fortress went up in flames. Don't ask.

Anyway, I always feel like a dwarf when I see people using crutches and try to guess their crutch-walking skill. Also when correcting people on the use of magma and lava. I feel like it's a very important grammatical distinction for the little buggers since to them magma is 90% of the time for industrial use, and lava is 90% of the time flowing over the earth incinerating everything (especially elves) in its wake.

[GreatWyrmGold]

The Dwarf-Fortressiest dream I've had recently is one where I was a kobold who surrendered to a dwarven settlement, which then made me baron a month later. I think a strange mood where I made a platinum mace was in there somewhere, too.

Dwarfiest thing I've ever done? Hard to say. Dwarfiest thing I've ever thought? Probably some problem that I thought I could solve easily if I just had a pickaxe and an anvil.

[Mr.Elendig]

I went out working(digging a trench acrually) the other day. Ended up bloody and covered in mud, and I grumbled mildly about the weather. (It was rain/slate/hail and 20m/s wind)

[Mister Always]

Like I always say, elven females serve a... better purpose to me than the males.

I'm bisexual, myself. I don't like skinny motherfuckers, though, so I collapse the depot under them. Into a lava pit.

[Spacespinner]

Sometimes I feel like taking that big hunk of rock behind our garage and chiseling some piece of furniture out of it. Maybe decorate it with menacing spikes of rock as well.

Menacing spikes of WOOL. I kid you not, my dwarves have some weird fetish for furniture menacing with spikes of wool.

[ASCIt]

I like it when the Dorfs spike their milk with booze. 

[Dave1004]

I went to a kind of country festival with my family, and there was this one old farmer sitting in a stall. It was rickety and brittle looking, just like the farmer. I noticed his epic beard, and the massive boulder beside him. This crazy guy had a hammer and chisel, and was hacking away at said rock. About two hours later when I was heading back home, I saw him still in the stall on the way out. I asked him "What the hell are you doing?", and he replies "Gittin' me a rock chair, so's I kin sit my butt on it."

I then bid him good day, went home, got a rock, and started making a chair. It didn't work out well, but I worked at it. In the end (About three months later), I had a weird looking, uh...I don't know. Let's just say it was a wombat or something. Anyways, I opened the local newspaper, and right there, in the middle of it...

"Farmer carves chair out of rock weighing seven hundred pounds."

The bearded bastard was sitting there, on his BADASS THRONE, drinking from a clay mug and smoking from a pipe. That was the day that I knew there was something to live for in this world. That was the day that I decided to become a dwarf.

GO AHEAD, call bullshit, whatever you want. But one day, ONE DAY I SHALL CREATE MY THRONE OF STONE, and I will make a whippit to put my foes in.

In the words of Athrogate: "Bwahahaha!"

[Frelus]

If this is true, I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE HELL THIS GUY LIVES!
HE IS THE FIRST TRUE DWARF ON EARTH!
ALL HAIL THE THRONEMAKER!

[Necro910]

If this is true, I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE HELL THIS GUY LIVES!
HE IS THE FIRST TRUE DWARF ON EARTH!
ALL HAIL THE THRONEMAKER!

*sagenod*

He must have had a strange mood. He is a legendary stonecrafter now.

[Biopass]

HAIL THE THRONEMAKER!

[ASCIt]

He is obviously living in the finest of rooms, with engravings of cheese and his artifact chair adorning the walls and floor, no?

[Frelus]

"This is "The True Throne", a solid awesomeness throne.
All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.
It is encircled with bands of dwarfyness.
It menaces with spikes of awesome.
It is adorned with hanging rings of coolness.
On the item is an image of magma in magma.
On the item is an image of elves melting in adamantine.
On the item is an image of "The True Throne", a solid awesomeness throne in slade."

THIS is the throne I guess....

[dr_random]

Guardrails, occupational safety standards, drinking from clay mugs as the guy who chiseled his throne a few posts about, pipe smoking goes fine also and:
Patronizing others into accepting and adhering to your own mindset, being very stubborn about that. Using blunt objects and axes to enforce. Occupational safety standards may be dropped for this endeavour. Crossing of guardrails is appreciated.