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[Hanslineman]

So... my level 10 metalsmith (immigrant) and resident Bookkeeper becomes possessed. As he just chills in the meeting hall doing nothing I start getting a little worried. I have a Forge built, but if he wants a bloody magma forge he'd better forget about it now. so after a couple weeks I take a look around I notice that my lazy dwarfs suspended construction on my forge and that I did not in fact have one. I happily make it work again to make sure McDwarf here doesn't go insane and rip the eyeballs out of the nearest dwarf to him in this meeting hall. As soon as its done he runs off happy as can be to claim the workshop... And then starts demanding bars. Which I realize I have none of because I have been refining coke to make sure my forges never stop running once they are up and going. So now i'm on a frantic mission to refine as many various metals as possible, because as stated before, I feel my little dwarfs need eyeballs. If only to continue producing coke for me. I go through this crazy refining project, and finally he sees what he needs! sweet victory. He will live, no exp of course but then again the lack of risk to my dwarfs eyeballs is worth it.

Until he finishes the project. Vushkikrost. An Iron Barrel. This is an iron barrel. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of iron. Its also worth 24000 Dorfbucks. But i'm seriously considering killing this little guy now. I have no desire to ever see his face again. It's like he was drinking some rum, said "Hey... we never did finish that forge..." gets possessed and throws my entire dwarf workforce into chaos to satisfy his sick desire to make a barrel. I have hundreds of barrels. None made of iron of course. Because you know, that's pointless.

So what would you do to this little dwarven guy?

[Il Palazzo]

Give him a medal. He made an artifact that's actually useful.

[raptorfangamer]

Give him a medal. He made an artifact that's actually useful.

this is... kind of true, give it some ice and you can get a refrigerator, or you could sell it for a tower-cap barrel.

[ASCIt]

Get a gorilla to throw his barrel at him.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Make an iron floor cave in on him. Or, if you're lazy, drown him.

[Mechanoid]

this is... kind of true, give it some ice and you can get a refrigerator, or you could sell it for a tower-cap barrel.

you can not sell artifacts, and why would you want to when a dwarf has made a barrel that will never melt or burn if the booze stockpile suddenly gets raised to alcohol-boiling temperature for whatever reason.

even if it was never much of a worry, you'll never have to worry about losing all your barrels; you'll always have one.

[ASCIt]

Plus, if you ever find it in adventure mode, you can smash people in the face with it.

[Hanslineman]

You guys make me laugh. And I hope he enjoys drinking booze out of his Iron barrel that apparently is the greatest artifact a dwarf could dream up. Little did I know my little bookkeeper invented the greatest item in dwarven history while he was going through his stocks. Because lets face it, 9/10 Tantrum spirals could be avoided if there was only booze.


on a more serious note though, are there any traps I could put this barrel in? or maybe! could I but the barrel on a floor, drop the floor and have it fall 15z levels to crush him?

[melphel]

Can an ashery be admired?  If so, build an ashery with that barrel and have your dwarves oogle it.

[JDF117]

 Hey, that barrel is useful! It's practically a goblinite magnet. (No pun intended)

[Sutremaine]

Asheries can't be admired because they don't need Architecture to build. I don't know if you could create a custom ashery workshop via raw modding, but you'll need a regen and if you're doing that you're better off using a general-purpose display case mod.

[ASCIt]

As long as it's in a room, it can add value, iirc. You could stick it in the dining hall and have it just sit there.

Alternatively, you can use it as bait for skulkers, and when they come to get it take them out with a repeating-spikes-into-a-cage/pit-trap trap.

[Hanslineman]

Hey I just had a second artifact made today! By a child! I now have a level 17 stonecrafter... Who can't craft stone.

This is a Galena Bracelet. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with bloodstone and encircled with bands of Galena. This object menaces with spikes of galena and bituminous coal. This item is worth less than the barrel. I laughed at that part.

[Girlinhat]

Build an ashery in your dining hall/baron's room to increase the value.  Or build an ashery outside and watch the trolls stick to it like flypaper!

[Tevish Szat]

Hey I just had a second artifact made today! By a child! I now have a level 17 stonecrafter... Who can't craft stone.

This is a Galena Bracelet. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with bloodstone and encircled with bands of Galena. This object menaces with spikes of galena and bituminous coal. This item is worth less than the barrel. I laughed at that part.

It is also less useful than the barrel.  As far as I can tell, "Craft" artifacts are worthless except for increasing fortress wealth, which is a mixed blessing.