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Author Topic: Dalek playing DF  (Read 1679 times)

Metalax

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Dalek playing DF
« on: October 18, 2011, 05:54:11 pm »

A snippet from an ongoing story over on spacebattles, in which dalek sec with some time on his handsplunger plays a little game.

Quote
He idly hovered towards the one computer which hadn’t been cannibalized. He had done research into human media, most of which he didn’t find interesting. There seemed to be a large amount of electronic games, with an emphasis on storytelling and graphics, none of which he could be bother with.

One, however, had caught his attention. It had none of the intricate graphics of the others, but was supposedly ludicrously complex, generating an entire world at random, populating it with unique inhabitants and keeping track of their health down to individual body parts, relationships, and history through long periods. Sec was actually intrigued by those claims, so he acquired it from the developer’s website and installed it on the computer.

Having nothing better to do, he decided to try it out.
====================

Opening research file: An investigation on human interactive media.
Loading entries 1-6 out of 69…
Attempt #1

I have successfully integrated the human computer's external interface to my systems and have and reviewed the games instructions.

I have selected an area with a difficulty worthy of a Dalek Supreme, chosen my supplies and am now in the process of-WHERE DID THAT LAVA COME FROM??!!

Attempt #2

This Fortress has been relocated into a colder climate. I am now in the process of digging a-SWIM YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR AN INTELLIGENT BEING!! SWIM!!

Attempt #3

WHERE DID THREE MILLION CATS COME FROM?! HOW CAN THEY FIT INTO A CAGE!? AND WHY DO THE HAVE THE SAME EFFECT AS A THERMOBARIC BOMB!? EXPLAIN!! EXPLAIN!!! EXPLAAAIIIINNNN!!!!!

Attempt #4

[UNINTELLIGIBLE SOUNDS OF INTENSE RAGE.]

Attempt #5

HOW CAN A CREATURE LIKE THAT EVEN EXIST, LET ALONE SLAUGHTER THESE INCOMPETENTS?! WHY IS THERE NO FUNCTION TO EXECUTE MY MILITARY COMMANDERS?! AND HOW CAN SOMEONE INGEST FOOD WHILE A MONSTER MADE OF FLAMING VOMIT IS TEARING THEM TO SHREDS!!?? EXPLAAAAAAIIIIIIINN!!!!!

Attempt #6

Fortress has been successful, although the denizen’s ability to ignore fire is disturbing. This is likely some sort of programing erro- NO! YOU ARE NOT THIRSTY!! YOU DO NOT REQUIRE ALCOHOL!! OBEY!! OBEEEYYY!!!
====================
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Deimos56

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Re: Dalek playing DF
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2011, 09:12:39 pm »

Yeah, that does seem to be the logical response to dwarf fortress...

I wonder what entry 69 looks like?
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Draco18s

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Re: Dalek playing DF
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2011, 09:40:56 pm »

* Draco18s giggles like a little girl.
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Keltiknight

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Re: Dalek playing DF
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2011, 09:47:08 pm »

*Keltiknight laughs like a madman* That was hilarious.
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Seraphim342

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Re: Dalek playing DF
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2011, 11:55:52 am »

Introducing DFto the Daleks would probably cause them all to go into a tantrum spiral and !!EXTERMINATE!! one another.  Noted for future use against SkyNet. 
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Mephansteras

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Re: Dalek playing DF
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2011, 12:19:16 pm »

Ha! Nice. :D
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QuakeIV

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Re: Dalek playing DF
« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2011, 01:02:28 pm »

Needs more exterminate.

Funny though, it fit daleks well, it was easy to imagine a dalek saying all of that.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Dalek playing DF
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2011, 08:23:54 pm »

This is hilarious. Makes me want to learn more about daleks than "robots that might not be able to climb stairs and are probably from Dr. Who."
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Untelligent

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Re: Dalek playing DF
« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2011, 09:59:18 pm »

They can fly up them.
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Draco18s

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Re: Dalek playing DF
« Reply #9 on: October 21, 2011, 10:00:44 pm »

This is hilarious. Makes me want to learn more about daleks than "robots that might not be able to climb stairs and are probably from Dr. Who."

LEVITATE.

If you want to know more about them, try watching The Daleks, The Dalek Invasion of Earth,* and The Chase.  There's several more, of course, but those are the earliest.  The Daleks gives you an idea of their origin.

*Which was alluded to, but not mentioned specifically, in The Stolen Earth.  No one would understand the reference unless they had seen it.  They would know that there was a reference, but not understand it.
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BloodBeard

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Re: Dalek playing DF
« Reply #10 on: October 22, 2011, 01:25:41 pm »

Cages are Timelord science of course, silly Dalek.

Mel_Vixen

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Re: Dalek playing DF
« Reply #11 on: October 22, 2011, 03:11:00 pm »

Cages are Timelord science of course, silly Dalek.

As the daleks should know. But i guess dalek sec forgot the battle canary Wharf. I mean he is on of the cultof scaro and freed his brothers from the genesis ark.
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Re: Dalek playing DF
« Reply #12 on: October 22, 2011, 08:40:58 pm »

I must say, it is an honor to be on the same forums as people who both like Dr. Who and play DF.
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