Ah, Fall. What a season. The leaves are just now starting to change colors, the children are contemplating self-mutilation to get out of school, and grown men in pads are colliding at fatal speeds in a thinly veiled insult to common sense. In America, we try to beat the crap out of each other, and perhaps more indicative of the general population, we imagine that we too can take part in Fantasy Football.
However, the season has already started, and it would be crass of me to assume that the dainty Europeans have what it takes to recognize Chad Ochocinco or Matt Flynn, so I propose a season of Fantasy Country-Ball! Essentially, players will pick 6 people and a few other things to represent their chosen country, which can be any legitimate country in history whether extinct or not, from history and every few days fight in a battle of epic proportions against another player's 6.
Name your team whatever you like. I recommend, for my sanity's sake, not something outrageous, but the classic city name followed by random word of your choosing. The six people, which I'll refer from now on as the players, will be picked by you, the coach, to fill their position in an imaginary government. Additionally, you could choose a "back-up" for every position just in case. In case of what? I've no idea. Note that all names can be changed to more appropriately fit your country.
The six positions are:
Head of State: Be it FDR or Queen Vic, your team has got to have a leader, and here they reside. Although they don't have to be actual heads of state (meaning Prime Ministers in constitutional monarchies are fine), you have to be able to make a legitimate case for their being rulers of a country.
Minster of Finance/Chancellor of the Exchequer/Secretary of the Treasury: Be it Alexander Hamilton or William Pitt, every nation needs someone to oversee finances and the economy. Never mind whether they actually held this position, just pick someone for whom it can be legitimately argued that they had a finger on the pulse of the Economy.
Minister of War/Defense/Ah, screw it, you get the idea: Be it Napoleon or Fredrick the Great, everybody likes going to war, and that certainly gets a spot in Country-Ball. Again, it doesn't matter if they actually held the position, military officers do fine and so do certain Heads of State.
Minister of Science and Technology: Be it Leibniz or one of the Curies, countries need to advance in the sciences, and how better than to make up a position that doesn't really have a corollary to the real world? If you can find a really influential person who really filled this position or one like it, appoint them! Otherwise, just pick a scientist or something.
Vice Head of State:Be it Aaron Burr or... some other famous #2, someone has got to take over after the big shot, and how better than to crawl in just in the nick of time before I have a better idea? Only those who did not serve in the leading role can actually fill this position, so although they can run for the top position, they can't hold it.
Water Boy: Hey, someone had to say it. Essentially a catch-all category, anyone can be the Water Boy.
But we're not done with just that, no, still there is more:
The Playbook: Consisting of 4 "plays", these consist of things like Pickett's Charge (remember who won the war), The Charge of the Light Brigade (c'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre), or other such maneuvers. Doesn't have to be militaristic, Smoot-Hawley Tarriff Act comes to mind, and also doesn't have to fail. I just can't think of one that succeeded of the top of my head. Really, I won't be very harsh judging this category as to what does or doesn't fit. Choose one to focus on before gameday.
Practice! What to do if your game isn't today? Well, pick an event from your countries history, and there you go! Only 2 practice sessions per game unless something else happens.
Because I'm awesome, I get to hand out whatever scores I want to. That seem mean? Tough.
All right, fine. I'll come up with a scoring system. Every single aspect mentioned above plus a few extra are each handed out points on a 1-X scale, with X being decided based on the weight I give each category. The better I think the choice is compared to the opponents, the more points you get. Numbers subject to change.
Heads of State: 10 points
Finance: 8 points
War: 8 points
Technology: 6 points
Vice: 4 points
Water Boy: 2 points
Playbook: 15 points
Practice: 4 points/session
Home Advantage: 10 points
Based on how well the country has historically been able to keep itself together. Only applies to one team, obviously.
Road Advantage: 5 points
Based on how well the country has historically been able to make other countries not keep themselves together. Only applies to one team, obviously. Lower than home just because.
National Advantage: 5 points
Because some nations are just have been historically able to beat others. Tends to just be 0 to both sides unless it's something like USA v.s Confederate States of America or UK v.s France. No, I am not going to elaborate.
Teams are divided into divisions of 4 teams each and play every member of the division twice. Once at home, once on the road. They also play one game with everyone in their conference, which is made up of 2 divisions. Road v.s Home choice is randomized, but every country gets a 50/50 split between home and road games.
Playoffs! After all 8 games get played, players set off on an expedition to the wilds! The team with the most wins in a division gets to go to the playoffs, and the two teams in the conference with the most wins and are not division leaders also get to go. Teams are seeded, with the best team getting #1 and the worst getting #1,000,000, and the team with the lowest seed gets to choose between home and road. Single elimination, and the winner of the tournament gets a now undefined prize, but will probably be akin to a hug. Scheduling rules for the Playoffs to come when closer.
Team Name:
Country:
Head of State:
Minster of Finance:
Minister of War:
Minister of Science and Technology:
Vice Head of State:
Water Boy
Playbook:
Short bios for anything and be added, but are not essential in the age of the Internet because I know everything.
Remember that names for the positions can be changed to better fit your country.
Man that took a while.
Everything can be changed if I feel like it or there is a general consensus and I feel like it. I'll take up to infinity teams, but I realize that's hoping for a lot, so I'll start up with just 8 teams or 4 teams at a pinch.
Have fun. Or is it "Fun"?
Author
Topic: Fantasy Country-Ball (Read 1909 times)