Bay12 Europa Universalis the Third:
After Action ReportThis is gonna be focused on Europe since that was where I was and I have no clue what happened in Asia. Sorry. If someone wants to do a separate one for Asia feel free 
Also if someone wants to do their POV in these 25 years, feel free and I'll link it from the first post.The first 25 yearsThe year is 1399. The day is October, 14th. A new era has arisen.
The king of England, zrk2, soon-to-be-deposed, shivered on his pathetic island in the north.
The mighty duo, Twiggie on the east in Burgundy, and Domenique in the west commanding France, discussed their plans in front of a roaring fire, occasionally taking a bite of their favourite delicacy, the
croissant-au-champagne.
Well, to tell you the truth Twiggie was a bit hesitant about that particular dish, but needs must.
In Toledo the somewhat deranged king MrScorp sat, pondering the reconquista that lay before him.
In the trading port of Lubeck Lord SlowPoke surveyed his domain as he laid his plans for economic and technological dominance, while further to the north Boksi began to set in motion plans that would make him the supreme lord of all Scandinavia, from his current throne in Denmark.
Mormota stood in the cavernous halls of his castle in WIENER-SCHNITZEL, the capital of Austria, as he appraised the armies with which he hoped to expand the borders of his glorious kingdom, as the Holy Roman Emperor Matyesz of Bohemia planned to build the biggest doom-stack yet seen in all of Europe.
Further to the east Lorgath fought desperately to defend his kingdoms of Poland and Lithuania from the ravages of the Golden Horde, while in Southern Italy the short-lived monarch Alexwazer schemed to expand his Napolitan empire throughout the Mediterranean.
The kings of Burgundy and France rapidly made a solid alliance not to attack each other but to aid each other in their conquests. The six-thousand-strong Burgundian army, meanwhile, marched on its first target, the city of Luxembourg. The gods had decided that the mighty empire of Burgundy was to start with the addition of this pathetic province. What forces there were were quickly brushed aside and the city seized in the name of all that is good and holy.
At the same time, reports entered the city, that the king of Spain was a fool who had abandoned the Reconquista against the scum Moors of Granada and was now attacking the holy kingdom of Aragon, in a desperate bid for power. All the wise men in Europe predicted a bad outcome for Spain as their ruler left their armies unguided and undirected, quickly falling to the pillaging of their fellow Spaniards. In short order, the city of Madrid was conquered and seized by the Aragonese king, whilst MrSpork was publicly executed by his citizens for failing them so.
The French king Domenique, at this time, was busily betraying his vassals, in his attempts to 'consolidate the mighty empire that is France', much to the horror of the rest of God-fearing, noble Europe.
Twiggie of Burgundy, however, was much more usefully employed, enforcing his rule upon the people of first Hesse, and then Bavaria, who were always eternally grateful to this king who relieved them of the terrors and horrors of their previous rule. After these wondrous exploits the beautiful people of Burgundy continued to wage war, determined to give their great king the seat of the Holy Roman Empire in return for his continued benevolence and wisdom. The pitiful elector-princelings of Trier and Cologne were the first to fall, swearing their allegiance to the rightful emperor as they quivered on their knees at his feet. The kingdom of Brabant held out slightly longer, their king clinging to power in the captured castle of Kóln, before finally succumbing and allowing his people to be freed by the eternal grace of King Twiggie. It was shortly after this that the mighty Burgundian king created the order of the golden fleece and donated large amounts of money to the Florentine School, purely from his own goodwill.
To the north in the miserable island of Britain, king zrk2 was leading his army of barbarian northmen against another army of barbarian northmen, finally earning the capitulation of the wilderness that in the fool English tongue is called Scotland. Shortly after this, however the king fell victim to a nasty case of tuberculosis and died. How sad.
Meanwhile in the south Alexwazer of Naples was heard to be doing well, earning new lands in Janina and Sardinia, before he too fell to the ravages of disease and these lands were once again lost to the Kingdom of Naples.
After this came a period of peace for Burgundy, in which the people worshipped their chivalrous, beneficent king Twiggie. However this peace was ended when the people of Liege, Gelre, Holland and Bar simultaneously cried out in their suffering, calling for the Burgundian king to save them from their oppressive masters. The compassionate king was only too glad to help his fellow humans achieve the same freedom obtained by all in his kingdom, but was opposed by the foolish king of Hungary who had already taken losses to his enemies, releasing the nation of Croatia in return for peace. The Cretin princelings of the Palatinate, Saxony and Brandenburg also decided that they would violently and savagely attempt to prevent the freeing of these wondrous peoples, and joined in against the valiant forces of Burgundy. However they were swiftly swept aside and vassalised, whilst the coward king of Hungary received a most gracious peace from the Burgundian king, narrowly avoiding his own doom.
At this time it was heard that the holy knights of the Teutonic Order were being defeated by the men of Poland, whilst Lord Slowpoke and his dreams of spaceflight were spreading their influence about Northern Germany, at one point almost defeated by a confederation of nine nations. However thanks to some timely intervention from somebody-or-other, this was averted and Slowpoke continued his reign.
Just prior to this, the world was shocked at France's continued conquests, leading to the annexation of Brittany and many of its previous vassals. Many peoples, astonished by Domenique's audacity in this matter, declared war on the nation of France, but were beaten back with the most fortunate and timely aid of the king of Burgundy.
The barbarian leaderless nation of England continued to enslave other barbarian nations, who were helpless to stop them from taking their windswept, worthless lands from them.
Meanwhile in the mighty kingdom of Castille, a new King, Barbarossa, had arisen. He led his people to victory after victory, first crushing the Moors of Granada, before seizing the cities of Madrid and Arágon from the Aragonese, and reducing the portuguese to a scant few outposts. He was then graciously invited into the might alliance of France and Burgundy, to form the mighty triumvirate which was sure to conquer all in the future.
At this time, trouble was brewing in the east of the Holy Roman Empire. The king of Austria, wanting to depose the Holy Roman Emperor, foolishly declared war, massively underestimating the forces of Bohemia. The armies of Austria were quickly crushed by the 44,000 strong Bohemian army, and they quickly ran, sobbing, to Lord Slowpoke the master of the Hansa, together with Lorgath of Poland-Lithuania. Lord Slowpoke enlisted the aid of his wondrous majesty Twiggie of Burgundy, who post haste marched his august armies across the lands of the Holy Roman Empire to the destruction of the emperor. Once the army of Bohemia was crushed entirely by the forces of Burgundy, and without any external aid whatsoever, the mighty Burgundian army marched homewards to relax again.
The Kingdom of Burgundy now stands ready to receive its rightful crown, the Emperorship of Holy Rome, and to rule it with a grace equalling his previous beneficence.
The events here recorded may or may not contain any elements of truth or wild assumptions by the author. No blame is accepted by him for this.
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