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[Sir Broccoli]

PROLOGUE:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

From the desk of Avuz Vaboklosis, Queen of Tholtig Kast

Dear Sir/Madam,

We are happy to inform you that your request to lead an expedition to THE BEWITCHED SPIKE has been approved.

We have given you a budget of 1274 dorfbucks to work with. Included is a checklist of supplies, workers and animals that you might wish to take, please fill out this form ASAP and deliver it to the following address...

My heart skipped a beat as I read the letter. I'm finally going to lead my own expedition! I'll be the boss of my very own fortress! I sat down and started filling out the form.
"Let's see," I mumbled to myself, "We're gonna need lots o' booze, some food, weapons..." It was at this point that I noticed the second letter that came in the envelope. As I unfolded it I noticed that this wasn't one of those sir-stroke-madam kind of templates. This was a personal, hand-written letter with curly writing and ink stains and people being called by their actual names.
It read:

Cerol,

You might be aware of the fact that a lot of new fortresses collapse under their own weight due to unhappy citizens who feel that they don't have enough power and know-it-all leaders who, quite frankly, have too much power. Therefore I would like to request from you the following...

My heart sank. "Not this." I said to myself, "Anything but this. How could she tell me to do something like this! This has got to be the..."

"...SINGLE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER READ!" I screamed as I slammed the letter on the queen's desk. I don't even remember how I got there or how I got past the guards, but something tells me I didn't just ask nicely.

"Cerol, I'm sure that if you try it everything will turn out just fine" The queen didn't even look up from her work as she spoke. "If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one who's leading an unusual expedition. Why, I just approved a mission that's going to use spoons and paperclips instead of picks and sword. Saves materials, you know."

"But a suggestion box?!" I spat out the words as if they were poisoned, "You're expecting me to actually listen to the workers? Don't you realize what kind of idiots some of these migrants can be?"

"I am fully aware of the situation but too many fortresses have been abandoned lately and something has to happen! I'm sure that following some suggestions will only contribute to the overall happiness of the fortress and it's workers."

"And what if one of them suggests everyone gets a pet goblin? Or if one suggest everyone gets a solid gold bathtub with hot and cold running magma!? One wrong suggestion and the fortress is doomed!"

"It'll be a Fun little experiment nonetheless. Now, about the location of your fort-"

"Hang on, did you just pronounce 'fun' with a capital letter?"

"-You'll have noticed that it's near an evil mountain range-"

"'Cos if you did then I have a couple more questions."

"-So I'm going to advise you to take some dwarfs with military experience, for everyone's safety."

I realized I wasn't going to get any answers about the capital-f-Fun. "Yeah, I figured that much. I'll take a hammerdwarf and an axeman/woodcutter as well as a proficient armorsmith."

She nodded. "Then I wish you good luck on your mission. I expect to see positive reports every year. Now leave before I call the guards."

----------

From the log of Cerol Kolnish

Here I was, leading an expedition but being forced to share leadership with every moron that chose to settle in my fort. A more horrible fate is difficult to imagine.
I chose my starting group with utmost care, seeing as I was going to have to live with them for the rest of my undoubtably short life. Attached is a list of their names and skills.

 - Kosoth Sakzulothos, Miner (Female)
 - As Degelatham, Miner (Male)
 - Cerol Kolnish, Carpenter/Trader (Male)
 - Ducim Datankubuk, Woodcutter/Axeman (Male)
 - Rakust Shemaran, Mason/Armorsmith (Female)
 - Shorast Omristducim, Farmer/Brewer (Male)
 - Sibrek Leksazir, Hammerman/Armor user (Male)

We traveled for days but so far no area really stood out to me until...



A hill, entirely composed of magnetite, tetrahedrite and lignite. I chose to take this as an omen.

"Stop the cart," I shouted, "This is it, this is our spot."

The other dwarves silently unpacked the cart and grabbed their tools.

One of the miners approached me, "Orders?"

I smiled, "Strike the earth!"

----------

Welcome to Trampletongs, an experiment in citizen mandates!

Here's how this is going to work:

 - Everybody can get dwarved (but only once)
 - Everybody who is dwarved can make a mandate in the thread (You can make as many mandates as you want but I won't do all of them. Try to be humble.)
 - Every time I update I will have fullfilled (or started to fullfill) at least one mandate (probably more than one though) of my own choosing.
 - Mandates can be pretty much everything (Pet goblins for everyone, build a solid gold dining room, place an *upright spear* in every dwarf's bedroom... Be creative!)
 - Mandates can be ignored if they're too difficult, too dangerous or just not enough fun.
 - I'm using the Fortress Defense mod.
 - That's pretty much it!

The map:

Spoiler: Dwarved people (click to show/hide)

 - Cerol Kolnish, Carpenter/Trader/Expedition leader (Male) (This would be me)
 - "Zomara" Shemaran, Mason/Armorsmith (Female)
 - "Anders" Leksazir, Hammerman/Armor user (Male)
 - "Karakzon" Degelatham, Miner (Male)
 - "Yug one-eye" Datankubuk, Woodcutter/Axeman (Male)
 - "Gar" Ilmebzuth, Mechanist/Tanner (Male)
 - "Kukuryku!" Omristducim, Farmer/Brewer (Male)
 - "Gcd" Sakzulothos, Miner (Female)
 - "Mumbling Atis" Kikrostzolak, Craftsdwarf (specialty: Glassmaking) (Female)
 - "Goldenherbs" Domaslikot, Herbalist/Diagnostician (Male)
 - "Mazrul" Rulkib, Weaver/Clothesmaker (Male)
 - "Uthrist" Kikrostnir, Dungeon master (Male)
 - "Jacen" Alathkod, Soap maker (Male)
 - "Xer" Asobbuket, Hunter (Male)

Spoiler: Mandates (click to show/hide)

Mandate completed
Mandate in progress
Mandate not yet accepted
No way I'm gonna do this/mandate failed

Uthric (Uthric): Carve an entire z-level into a maze (Not fun/too annoying to make)
GreatWyrmGold: Blah blah, hippie bullshit, blah blah.
- Ansontan (Anders-with-a-z): Smelt ALL the ores!
- DeKaFu (Gcd): Three spiral staircases of the elaborate kind.
- GreatWyrmGold (Goldenherbs): Reach the caverns.
- Kogut (Kuruyuku): Buy egg-laying things. Build coops.
- Uthric (Uthtic): Buy dogs. Build an arena.
- Zomara (Xer): Archer-tower/Catapults
- Karakzon: Parapett
- JacenHanLovesLegos (Jacen): SOAP!
- Shinotsa (Taylos): Arena is to be used for wrestling training.
- HorridOwn4ge (Yug one-eye): Silver axe.
- peregarrett (Gar): Build a control room for all levers in the fort, only mechanists are allowed to pull levers.
- ansontan2000 (Anders): Build a barracks/Get more peeps in the military/stop calling me 'Anders-with-a-z'

Index:
Entry 1
Entry 2
Entry 3
Entry 4
Entry 5
Entry 6

[ansontan2000]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 Good idea.
Can you dorf the hammerman as Anderz please?
Mandate: Make all of your workshops from metal bars (that mountain might help) except for the forge, of course.
Also, could you make my dorf the head of ze military? That would make me soooo happyy.......

[zomara0292]

Sweet. i like this experiment. I will most gladly take your armor maker slash stone filer. For the glory of the blood god, of course.

[HorridOwn4ge]

Name the woodcutter Yug one-eye, and I'll promise you he'll lose a an eye.

[peregarrett]

Nice idea!
I'm claiming first dorf with engineering skills (i.e. mechanic, siege engineer, architect), preferable male, but not actually important. Name him(her) Gar.
And once I'll get one, I'll state my mandate.

[Karakzon]

Miner: Karakzon.

Ill make my mandate when youve got a decent weaponsmith

[Sir Broccoli]

Entry 1

"Alright, you-" I frantically looked through my notes to find the dwarf's name, "-Yug, cut down some of these trees so I can start making beds."

"One-eye." The dwarf replied

"I'm sorry?"

"Name's Yug one-eye." He appeared to be serious

I gave him a look that hopefully managed to convey the words 'are you f*cking with me?' "Yug... one-eye."

"Yup."

"Now, correct me if I'm wrong," I said, "But you appear to have both eyes."

"I like to plan ahead."

"You're planning on... You know what, I don't care. Go cut down trees."

'Yug one-eye,' I wrote as he walked away to do his duties, 'Plans to lose an eye, possiblydefinitely crazy. Keep an eye onBe careful around this one.'

I turned to the miners "Alright, you two can start digging right here. I want a dining room, a couple of bedrooms and a room for a temporary all-purpose stockpile ASAP so if you-" someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and looked into the face of the hammerdwarf. "Yes, can I help you-" -A quick glance at the notes- "Anders?"

"With a z."

"I'm sorry?"

"Anderz with a z." Once again, he appeared to be serious.

I decided not to argue and added 'with a Z' after Anders' name.

"Alright, now what do you want?"

"Well y'see," He started, and I felt that this was going to be bad, "They tole us we could ask you t' do things, and that you'd have t' do them. Like the nobs, right?"

"Right." This was going to be horrible

"An' I figgered that, seeing as there's lots o' metal here we could maybe smelt some of it?"

"Oh," I was surprised, I was expecting something much worse, "Well, we can certainly do that. I was actually planning on smelting some so that" -glance at notes- "Zomara can make you a suit of armor and-"

"All of it."

I gave him the 'are-you-f*cking-with-me'-look. "All of it?"

He gave me a quick nod.

"Listen, Anders-with-a-z," I said, "At the moment we simply do not have the resources or the manpower that's needed for an undertaking of such magni-"

"Queen sez you gotta listen to me."

He had me there. I had to do what he said or the queen would certainly punish me. I gave in. "Alright, if you want smelted ores you can go smelt them yourself."

He wasn't expecting this "I dunno how to smelt ores!"

"None of us do! I figured we could take our time with smelting ores seeing as we weren't in a big hurry to get metal, but if you insist we need metal then you can go and get it yourself."

"We didn't dig out any ore yet."

I turned to the miners, "Alright you two, change of plans. Tear down that hill, I want all the magnetite and lignite extracted from it."

"No bedrooms?"

"No bedrooms." I climbed on top of the wagon and shouted, "Listen up people! You won't have a proper place to eat or sleep because of a mandate that Anders-" I saw him open his mouth to correct me "-With a Z just made! I hope you will take this into account when you're thinking of your own stupid mandates!"

As I climbed off the wagon Anders-with-a-z started complaining "I never said we should-"

"Zip it! If you make a mandate you're going to have to live with the consequences! Now go build a smelter!"


If this fortress is going down I'm sure as hell not going to take the blame for it.

[Sir Broccoli]

Christ, when did I become this wordy?! Anyway, Karakzon, you can make more than one mandate, no real reason to wait for a weaponsmith to join up.

[DeKaFu]

Very interesting. Can I have the female miner?
Name: Gcd
My first mandate shall be for three elaborate spiral staircases, with pillars! Columns. And a statue.

[Karakzon]

sounds good to me.
But like i said, im going to wait ^^

[Kogut]

Can you dwarf me as Shorast Omristducim and set his nickname to "Kukuryku!"?

[Sir Broccoli]

Entry 2

Finally! We're underground! Anders-with-a-z managed to smelt enough iron to get himself a complete suit of armor. I figured this would be enough for now so I ordered the metal industry shut down for a while and told Zomara to build a wall so that we can keep out any uninvited guests.
The miners worked quite fast; we've got a farm, a dormitory, a dining room, food&booze stockpiles and a food preparation area set up. Most of the workshops are still on the surface so they'll dig out workshop areas next. I was inspecting the walls when I received another one of the dreaded taps on the shoulder. The one who tapped me turned out to be the only person whose name I could remember, but then again it was very difficult to forget a name like 'Gcd'. I wonder what her parents were smoking when they thought that up...

"Yes? Is there something I can do for you?" I asked while silently praying that this wouldn't be a mandate.

"About those mandates..." Damn! "I kinda, like, thought of one?"

"Alright." I said, bracing myself for the worst, "Let me hear-"

"MIGRANTS!" The roar came from the as-of-yet inappropriately-named Yug one-eye.

I rushed off. "But what about my mandate!" yelled Gcd as I ran.

"Just leave a note on my bed!" I yelled, "I'm gonna go meet the newcomers!"

There were three of them. One of them was a craftsdwarf (specialized in glassmaking), one a diagnostician and herbalist and one was a tanner/mechanist. They were quite pollite and we had a very pleasant conversation until the mechanist (who had introduced himself as Gar) spoke up.

"So is this the fort where we can make mandates? Because I have some ideas."

Oh dear.

Thankfully I managed to get myself out of that conversation before any suggestions were made. As I was showing them around the fort I noticed a small note on my bed. It read, and I quote: "Three elaborate spiral staircases. With pillars. And columns. And a statue."

Fantastic.

[HorridOwn4ge]

'hey um boss...' Yug muttered. 'I don't really like this axe I can't get a decent grip on it, could you make me a new silver one.. wait I'm doing this wrong'. 'I MANDATE A SILVER AXE!'

[peregarrett]

Aha! I'm dorfed!

So, as a head of Mechanic's guild I mandate any lever in our fort to be built at special quaters, called Control Room, and only mechanists are allowed to pull hem. Control Room should be designed like this:

###############
#.#.#.#.#.#.#.#
...............
#.#.#.#.#.#.#.#
###############

with levers installed at each side in recesses.

For mechanists I mean myself, my family - if any - and any future migrant with Expert Mechanic or higher.

[ansontan2000]

I am satisfied with a full kit.
You can keep the mining of that mountain for later, I was in a bad mood and decided to fuck with you XD
Edited my mandate but... Don't read that one
Mandate: Get a barracks with an armor stand and weapon rack. It's for the good of the fortress *shrug*. Also, you may want more people in the military. Being in a haunted biome, i'm slightly concerned about our defense.
By the way, just take away that "with a Z". It's becoming slightly annoying. Just call me Anders.